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  5. Why do I feel like noone understands Why I am terr

Why do I feel like noone understands Why I am terr Lock Rss

Hello everyone!
I would just like to send my support to all the home birthing Mummies.

Everyone else: Leave them alone. Kandied Heart, came on asking other homebirth Mummies for some advice, said she wanted help and was upset by what had happened to her. I think her intention was to get help, not to have people question her beliefs.

Do you think it is fair to start pushing her to change her mind on home birthing? - She is 35 weeks preggers! This is her decision, because it is exactly that, HER BABY - HER DECISION. Its not fair to keep pushing your point when it isn't asked for.

I don't mean to start anything, I saw this in 'Hot Topics' and really I think enough is enough.

I am not a homebirther, but I think each to their own. Those who don't believe in home births have pushed there point enough.

Look this is always an emotive issue - I spoke with my mother about it (wanted a home birth for my second child but sadly she was a footling breach in the 95th percentile - there was no way that baby was going to be born at home)- who is a midwife with over 35 years experience - her response

1) you can get statistics to say anothing thing you want
2) many other countries that have better stats for home birth have much denser populations - therefore you are more likely to be close to a hospital if something does go wrong
3) If you are within 10 minutes drive (at a normal speed) from the hospital, you have a fully accrediated midwife you trust AND there are no complications with the pregnancy - there is no reason why you shouldn't try a home birth - but be prepared to go to the hospital should the midwife recomend it.

But saying that my son was born naturally in the hospital and no one made me lie on my back - I haven't actually heard any medical professionals who recommend that position - so I am sorry you had a bad experience but IF you have to go to the hospital - stick to your guns about what you want in the birth and they Will listen to you (no doctor wants a lawsuit!)
Can I just add that you can be in hospital and still not receive treatment quick enough to help bubs or mum? Babies die in hospital too - lots of them - far more than at home. (and yes, one of the factors that contributes to those figures is that hbers look carefully at the risks before deciding to birth at home - normal pregnancy, no signs of trouble, excellent chance of successful homebirth)Our nearest big hosp is Hamilton and prep time for an emergency ceasar is the same time it would take me to get to the hosp by helicopter - so being less than 10 mins away wouldn't mean my baby got out any quicker - and yes, this is fact- some of the research as i did as a responsible hbing mum before my 2 very successful homebirths.

NZ has excellent stats for hb and we don't have a dense population - a large percentage of our hbirths are outside the city centres. More knowledge and experience of hb = better outcomes.

My mw had a hb where the mum started to bleed out - the helicopter was called, and the specialist told her later the patient had received the same standard of care she would have had in the hospital. They do have equipment and stuff - they don't just sit there chanting, waving their bangles and hoping for the best!!

I think homebirths is up to the mum..people who push their homebirth opinions on people is wrong.. There have been successful homebirths and also some that have ended badly that i know of... I don't think i would be able to do it ever as i think it's a bit risky but if it's a uncomplicated low risk pregnancy there is a higher chance of it working.
so its ok for people to push their anti homebirth opinions, but not for others to talk about their homebirths in a favourable light in case it is seen as pushing homebirth?
my thoughts exactly. kandied heart came here looking for support, and got more of what she seems to be experiencing irl.
hope you are doing ok, kandied heart.

I agree too dougiesmum & Ymiheer

I know of bubs that have died in hospital and at a freebirth and both outcomes would have been the same no matter where they happened. I have heard of stillbirths etc at home and at hospital and YK the hbers would still have their babes at home everytime.

I was scared about all the things you women bring up about babies dying and transferring etc. Speak to an independent midwife and get some facts before trying to paint hbers in a poor light. We are not reckless cowboys who one day decide screw societ we are going to have our babies at home. In general we research and research some more and ask around.

There is a govt sponsored program here in WA run through KEMH. If it were reckless or dangerous do you really think the govt would be pushing for a reform in maternity care.

Wear your baby out!!!

First of all - Kandied Heart, this do not stem from your OP. This stemmed from Peggynbindy's question, and in particular Ymiheer's reply.

I am NOT saying the homebirthing is bad! If the birth is a straightforward one with no complications, it can be very good.

What I am saying is that in the event of a complication, things can go very wrong, very quickly. Why do I say this? Because my sister is a paramedic and the amount of homebirths-gone-wrong she's had are shocking, scary and sad! My personal opinion is that my children's lives are way too important to risk with a homebirth. That's my opinion, take it or leave it.

Also, why is it so important to some of you that you know your midwife? That is something I just don't understand. The midwife I had in the hospital was soooo nice, she was wonderful and I could not have asked for better. Are we now life-long friends? NO. Do we catch up for coffee? No. I don't even remember her name! I had other more important things going on to worry about whether we were getting along great. She helped me give birth to my daughter, she did a great job, end of story.

So go ahead and home-birth if you like. BUT don't criticise me when I come on here and try to give people the other side of the story. It's not all painted roses like some of you make it out to be. I would rather people hear the whole story, as bad or scary as they may find it! At least they can make an informed decision!
I have had three births. All in hospital. One stillborn (I was induced because he had already died) at term, one induced, and one without induction or pain relief. All have had short labours.

Firstly, I have to say that despite the outcomes, I far prefer the hospitals for the first and second deliveries than my last one. My first delivery was a simple one. No complications, no panic attacks. My second delivery I almost felt at home. It was a teaching hospital, and I had at least one midwife at all times, usually two and sometimes three. Of those attending, most times I had trainee midwives with the experienced midwife coming in on a regular basis. My husband was allowed to help (keeping monitoring equipment in place etc) and we were relaxed the entire time. My last delivery was also in a teaching hospital. I do have to say that I liked the midwife. He was good. It was the head midwife who kept coming in and making things difficult that I hated. My stress levels went through the roof. Mostly with the way she'd breeze in with a team of people and dart about like a panicked rabbit being chased by a dog. It made the atmosphere a very tense one, and actually made things harder for me. The only birth that I had any problems? My last one.

I was so tense that I ended up massively exhausted. My husband wasn't allowed to assist in any way, in fact they kept on shifting him away from me. The only complication was that the baby's shoulder ended up catching behind the pelvic bone. They refused to let me know what was happening, acted as though the baby was about to die, and then - to make things worse - refused to allow my husband to know anything either, and as such made me even more tense. It was only when I'd managed to find a way of ignoring the terrified rabbit woman and relax that I managed to get into a better position and actually deliver him without further incident.

I refuse to go back to that hospital for my next baby. If I could have a home birth this time, I would do. Through all of my labours, I have had absolutely no problems, except in that one case, where stress from being at the hospital actually exacerbated the problem. I have learned through experience that the hospital is not necessarily the best place to actually deliver a child, especially in cases where there are no potential issues, and all signs point to an event-free delivery. Believe it or not, it is actually standard practice in NSW for large babies to be forced to stay in hospital for repeated blood tests, even in cases where there is nothing untoward in the initial test results. Because of past experiences, I have trouble with staying in a hospital overnight, at least without having my husband with me. Hospital rules do not allow for that. As such, for at least one night (and likely longer) after giving birth, I will be forced to remain in the hospital,. Because of my stress levels, I cannot sleep. So, not only do I have to deal with exhaustion after delivery, but an extra 24 hours minimum without sleep. Not exactly the best for milk production.

Thus, there are actual reasons that people may prefer a home birth rather than a hospital birth. Just because someone would prefer to have a birth that is, for them, lower in stress doesn't mean that they're automatically doing it to endanger their babies life because of personal preference. If someone really IS that terrified of hospitals, it makes the risk factor during the actual delivery much, much higher, and can cause problems in their own right.
i had my first by emergency c section. i am two and half hours from nearest hospital. only a birthing centre in my town, my midwife checked me when my waters broke and said "babies heads not engaged your on your way to the hospital." she about 65 and an experenced midwife who knows her stuff.

if she hadn't sent me we wouldn't have made it. in fact we got there 5hours before active labour actually started. after 5 hours of pushing next came a c section and a heathy baby boy.

my next came by emergency c section and was five weeks early spent some time in intensive care with breathing problems.

one of my friends had a home birth by accident in the hall way on her way to the car. another had hers in the drive way.

some people can birth easily some can't / at least in NZ pregnancy births etc are free
[Edited on 21/01/2008]
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Kind regards,
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