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  4. Hi I have a 21 month old. Every time we go to the shops lately she has melt down cause she doesn't want to go in the trolley or pram but will only let me hold her not my partner (step dad). I have a 5050 arrangement for her. Occasionally she just wants to
Avatar Jorda...
Hi I have a 21 month old. Every time we go to the shops lately she has melt down cause she doesn't want to go in the trolley or pram but will only let me hold her not my partner (step dad). I have a 5050 arrangement for her. Occasionally she just wants to

I also can't get her to sleep anywhere but in my room and I have to lay with her til she falls asleep then move her to portion but we are expecting number 2 help me with my clingy bubba!!

Jane ...
Answer: Hi, In many ways what you're describing sounds pretty typical for a toddler. This is an age and stage of wanting to be more independent and pushing the boundaries which inevitably leads to some emotional meltdowns because (obviously) 21 month olds are not able to make the best and safest decisions for themselves. The way to manage this is to stay calm, focused and consistent. Try to avoid her being too hungry, tired and over stimulated when you need to take her out though I fully appreciate this will have its own challenges. Try to follow a consistent and predictable routine with her care, she still needs a good daytime sleep at this age. And don't let her be the one who decides who holds her or where she goes. You don't need to be forceful or aggressive about this, just steady and calm and reassuring. When she is behaving well then make a fuss of her and praise her; nothing will reinforce positive "good" behaviour more than giving her the message that you like it very much when she's being cooperative and you want to see more of this. Try to ignore behaviour which is negative and which really doesn't matter. Pick your battles when it comes to her tantruming-this will only help you to save energy for what is really important. And check the information on the Huggies site for toddler behaviour and tantrums, there is a whole range of comprehensive tips and information contained there. Just a tip that it may be useful to check the sleep/settling information as well but essentially, if she only learns how to go to sleep with you next to her then she won't learn the skills in settling herself off to sleep. Try placing her into her cot/bed before she's fully asleep and soothe and comfort her to a point where she is calm and relaxed but ultimately, still awake. She's likely to protest and perhaps even get up out of bed so you may need to consider placing a gate across her doorway. Lots of reassurance and positive prompts will help but ultimately you need to change what you're currently doing in terms of supporting her reliance on you to help her go to sleep, and then she'll learn how to settle herself. This can take a few weeks so be consistent and persistent. Best Jane
Answered: 09 Feb 2015