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Toddler is obsessed with step brother?

Any ideas on how to guide my four year old. He appears to be obsessed with his step brother (who lives with us). So much so he wants to be him , do everything like he does , doesn't like his name wants to be called his step brothers name. Wont let him play with other kids, wants to be around him all the time . It's great that he loves him but its also a little frustrating for both his step brother and also myself. I'd love for my four year old to be more independant and his own personality shine. My step son is currently being tested for Aspbergers and I'm concerned how my four year old mimics his social skills and co ordination. For Eg: My four year old rides his bike very well but since watching his step brother (who has trouble with gross and fine motor skills) ride his bike wobbly , my four year old now delibrately wobbles his bike. I'm not sure what to do and I'm worried.

Jane ...
Answer: Hello, To be honest, I can't help but think the novelty will all wear off in good time. Competition and comparison is common amongst siblings and step siblings and the boys will find their own ways with each other. It's important to try and give them some one on one individual time of course and praise their attempts at challenges but often doing nothing or very little for parents is the best way of managing minor behaviour issues. Just try and be very matter of fact about things for now and don't give your four year old too much attention when he's replicating what his step brother is doing. It's probably just a bit of healthy idol worship. Unless of course you think it's crossing the bounds into unhealthy and your own boy's personality is being overshadowed by the other boy. Make sure that they have regular time apart with their own friends and interests so they have a break from each other. And importantly, make sure you treat both of them fairly and with equal time and energy otherwise resentment may follow. Best Jane
Answered: 26 Jul 2014