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i have a 3 1/2 yr old boy and his temper is very bad

E.g he will ask for cereal for brekkie then change to a sandwich, when i give it to him he will say NNOOO i want cereal! and i will reply well you asked for sandwich that is what you got he wil then say NOO and push it away and it goes on like this it happens with almost everything to what he wears to snacks etc if he doesnt like my choice he will throw things either at me or on the floor very hard though then he will jump up and down screaming no, and if we try time out in his room he destroys it slams door bangs wall etc we do not know how to get around this we have tried so much im almost at my wits end i also have very bad depression and it makes it worse when he does this he also will pick on his sisters (5 & 6) he will not sleep in his own room of a night which is due to a accident with a fan blowing up and catching fire but it was almost a yr ago that it happened and we still cannot get him back in his room

Jane ...
Answer: It does sound like you're having a challenging time with him. But I cannot, in the context of this email cover all the issues which you need help with. Perhaps a review with your GP is warranted, both for yourself and your boy. You say you have very bad depression, are you being properly treated and getting some mental health support? This is absolutely the first thing you need to do, before anything else. Perhaps a referral to a psychologist, psychiatrist or having a mental health plan drawn up is necessary. Then a review of your boy; including his hearing, sight, speech and overall develoment may be necessary. Your GP, if warranted could then refer him to various health professionals for support and assessment. A Triple P course may also be useful - have a chat with the staff at your local community health centre to see what supports are available for you. And importantly, your partner and other girls may need to become involved in a "whole of family" approach in responding appropriately and consistently to your boy. Hope this helps to set you on the right path, Best Jane
Answered: 04 May 2013