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My little girl is refusing to use the potty and deliberately weeing on the furniture and carpet

Hi Sally-Anne,
My 33 month old little girl is refusing to use the potty and deliberately weeing on the furniture and carpet. She was starting to use the potty but now is determined to stay in nappies. She needs to be toilet trained to attend her activity group from the start of next year. Please help me achieve this.
Thanking you in advance,
Sally

Sally...
Answer: Hi Sally, I appreciate your email. It sounds like you have a strong and determined young daughter who is trying to gain your attention. It is important to promote the positive behaviours and ignore the poor behaviours. To start with, after 30 minutes of no weeing of the floor, I would "notice" this (eg. "I am so proud of you for not weeing on the floor anymore. Well done. Would you like me to take you to the potty or would you like to go by yourself"). You have commented on the positive behaviour (which increases her self-esteem), you have given her some positive attention (which is better than the negative attention we give when we are cross), and you have given her a forced choice (either way she will use the potty). Good luck! All the Best! Sally-Anne
Answered: 22 Dec 2007