Hello. I am a mum of a 5 year old boy and 3 year old daughter and am currently in my last trimester of my third pregnancy. I am constantly feeling run down and unappreciated.
I love and adore my children more than anything, but feel that all I do is cook,clean, run around after them and always trying to 'discipline' them. I feel that there is no time to actually enjoy them and am becoming more and more frustrated as i always do the monotonous and 'hard' part of parenting. I have come to a point that it's just not enjoyable and resent doing so much for them and feel that I'm not getting anything in return. It hurts me that the kids would rather be with other members of the family as they get what they want and the other family members have more time and patience than I do. I feel that I'm constantly ignored and that they just expect everything to be done by me even though I'm trying to teach them each and every to do things for themselves. Can you please help me?
You do sound a little flat and worn down, not surprising as it seems you're doing so much for everyone else but perhaps neglecting your own needs? Do you have friends and family who can help you? Have you spoken with your maternity care provider about how you're feeling and your partner as well? Kids are not great at acknowledging everything their mothers do and honestly, they're not going to turn around and thank you for a very long time, perhaps not until they're parents themselves.
This is why it's absolutely crucial that you care well for yourself and value what you are doing. Make friends and mothers through playgroup and kindy, you'd be surprised by how common your experiences are. And although you are probably feeling very alone and as if your kids are particularly ungrateful, honestly, they sound very normal in terms of not recognising all that you're doing for them. Perhaps doing less of the non essential jobs would conserve some of your energy?
There's a lovely saying; don't do for your children what they can do for themselves and depending on their ages and development, it may pay to teach them some self care skills and do up a roster system. And importantly, get your partner on board as well.
Make sure you speak with your midwife/doctor as well as perhaps your blood levels of iron are down and this is reflecting in your energy and current mood.
28 Jun 2014