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Boyfriend to stepdad Rss

Hey all! Sorry for the long post!

Start off by giving a quick rundown. I met the guy I'm seeing about 12 months ago it's only recently (2 months ago) we decided that we were in love with each other and decide to be in a relationship. From the beginning he knew I had 2 children and he is young still which is why we decided to keep it casual. He met the kids a few times etc and about 6 months in he was at my house almost every night give or take a couple he interacted well with the kids helping them playing with them etc. The last couple of weeks we have been talking seriously and looking for a house for the 4 of us to move in to. Then he dropped the bomb that he isn't ready to move in together he wants to have his place so he can escape when it gets too much and that he is scared of being a stepdad and doesn't want to ruin our relationship because we moved in too soon. He says he does want to live together and be a family etc he's just not sure when he will be ready. I'm pretty upset by it as I was looking forward to being a little family. I don't know what to do keep things how they are where he is here every night and going back to his place for a couple of hrs on the weekend or an hr after work. Or cut my losses and leave him. I just don't want to be waiting around forever

1st baby due start of sep

I think you are taking it the wrong way. Personally I think good on him for being straight up with you about how he feels. It's a really big deal taking on an "instant family" and a year is really not that long in context with that. You should be grateful he's not just jumping in and being honest instead so that there is a better chance for it working out well in the future instead of him regretting jumping in too quick.
Sorry if that sounds harsh but it sounds like he's being very mature about this and thinking that with kids involved, he should be absolutely sure this is what he wants not just now but for all of the foreseeable future.


totally agree! I have been here and the best thing to do is remain patient and just be happy with the situation and make the most of it, it will happen eventually if it is going to, I am now happily with my dp expecting our second together (he considers my DD his first) and things are great

so be patient , be honest and ride it out =) if it meant to be it will happen.

Thanks ladies! Strawberry timtam not harsh at all it's great to get a diff perspective on it. I guess I'm just looking at it the wrong way like you said. I'm also scared of getting hurt if he realizes it's not what he wants ( previous bad exp ) I'm glad he was honest with me even if it took 2 weeks to tell me. Like was said it is better to be upfront now than need to leave in a yr or 2 because he realised he made the wrong decision. If it's ment to be then it will happen just gotta wait it out and support him. I'm all new to this so thank you for the great advice!

1st baby due start of sep

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