hoope that helps smile
Apologies for my replies, hope they make sense. I am usually typing one handed or interrupted halfway through wink
When i go into hospital to have bubs, I have a few presents ready for the other kids, so that they are kept amused, it would be things like a colour in book and pencils. They get to open one every couple of hours. (i had the kids stay at the hosp with me while i was in labour with my 1st 2 kids, but mum was there to take them out of the room when i wanted.) My 2nd 2 were premmy so the kids were at home with family when i was in labour.
When bubs was born the kids would give bubs a gift that they had chosen and bub would give them a gift. It always worked a treat and they all loved it.
I have found sometimes my older 2 girls forget that my 4 year old is only 4. They forget that she is still learning to share etc.
On the other hand i have a friend with a 7 year old daughter and she wont play with her 1 year old brother. then when my girls play wiht him she gets all jealous and wants him to herself. She was an only child for so long, its hard for her to share her mothers love.
I'm certain, that as they get older the fighting will increase, and may become more intense - but I know they all love each other very much, and its all just a part of life!
I believe the way you parent has a lot to do with how well your kids get along - sharing your time around as evenly as possible (especially when a new bub comes along), letting each one feel just as loved as the next.
I'm sure everything will be fine for you and your children. Like pp's said, a gift from the baby to your child is a great thing to do - I did it with my 2nd and 3rd babies, the older kids love it! smile
But I think it's the way the interact every other time that's important.
DD1 can be a right royal b!tch to DS, but we try to nip that in the bud ASAP, and other times she is so thoughtful and kind and wonderful to him..
DS is not an instigator, but he does retaliate, so if one of the other 2 get stuck into him, he'll give them a go back. But he's a pretty laid back placid kid.
DD2 can be a bully to DS sad laugh she'll chase him around and try to hit him! lol
DD1 is really good with her and helps with her when we're out..
Generally they get along really well - they have their occassional bust ups but they're over quickly smile
Don't worry about that.. you just deal with it when/if it happens...
And a lot of it is the way they're brought up too - if you try to keep things equal and fair then those values rub off on them.
I think that the way that my DD has been taught to have good communication is going to help. I don't expect that things will be smooth sailing all the time but I do expect that I will be putting the time and effort into parenting in a manner that promotes all the right behaviours. None of us signed up for an easy ride wen we chose to have kids. We did sign up for commitment to them though.
Didnt you fight with your siblings?
Yep definitely did Allison, and as a result my sister and i haven't spoken in 6 yrs sad(
I have 2 girls 23 months apart and like everyone else they fight sometimes but mostly get on really well.
I wonder what it is about human nature that everyone has to try and put a dampener on things and try to intimidate and frighten others once they are in a position of no turning back (like being pregnant). I remember that overwhelmingly the comments people make are that when you have kid/s your life will never be the same, you will never have time to yourself, you will never look good again, you will never...blah blah blah.
The good stuff far outweighs the bad stuff. Your kids will get on great and you will delight in watching the older one care for and interact with the younger one, and the look of admiration the baby will give the toddler (kinda like the 'mummy look', it's one of those expressions reserved just for the older sibling/s)...then one day the little one is old enough to play and you will love watching them learn to play with each other.
Good luck. Stay positive!
Thanks so much for your lovely kind words. Its so daunting when you hear ppl you trust say things like that! I will definitely focus on the good stuff.