Be comfortable in your skin – this is a judgement free zone. Find out more!

Huggies Forum

we've finally given up Rss

Have advertised her to a new home. Feeling rather devastated & like a failure but we just can't do this any more.... and with bubs on the way it would only get harder.

I don't even know if we're going to find the right family..... they would have to be absolutely passionate about helping her because 5 years of this and we just give up. And if we don't find the right home she might have to get put down...

We have recently taken to leaving her inside the house when we go out because she flips out & is gone by the time we get home otherwise. She still flips out anyway .... yesterday she smashed a window & cut her face. Every surface had blood and marks all over it.. even my oven!

just laying here not able to sleep & having a cry over it actually. Trying to distract myself with other things but keep coming back to this dog. We have given it everything we've got.... but she has just never ever gotten any better, and never been able to get past her fears from her past. I guess like humans, dogs also can never get rid of the memories of awful things happening & the fear that creates even when in trustworthy company.




sad what a hard decision for you to make. But as you said, her problems aren't exactly going to make life easy for you with new bub on the way. I so hope you guys do find someone who can devote their time and patience to her. At least you know you've done what ever you can to help her have a good life. I can totally understand being devastated, fingers crossed that the right person comes along to look after her. Don't be too hard on yourself! xx



Thanks shell... just struggling with it. I genuinely don't believe we'll find someone. To give her away and not tell them the problems we've had wouldn't be ok either.... because they'll either not want her when they find out or she'll get abused again. The chances of finding someone who wants to dedicate their lives to this is not very likely. She is a daily problem, and the victories we've had have only ever been small things - like being able to approach her to pat her without her cowering in fear.

And if we cant find the right family I don't know that I'm capable of having her put down. I don't know what the answer is.




Oh that is really hard sad So she's got really bad separation anxiety? Have you enlisted the help of a professional dog trainer/handler/whisperer?

I wouldn't know what to do either but you have to put the safety of your kids first so if you have been down every avenue with the dog (training etc) and she is no better then you don't have a choice sad But you never know, there might be a kind soul out there willing to take her on - good luck.





Oh Chalys..... you have done so much for her. That is such a hard decision to make. The time and energy you have put in, not many people would do that. You are an amazing family. Hopefully the right family will come along. There are people out there with huge hearts. I will cross my fingers for you. Just take it one step at a time. You have made the first decision to move her on. Just take it easy and see how you go with that. You can address the next issue later if you can't find anyone. Sometimes it just takes a little time. You could also ask at the RSPCA or Animal Welfare League to keep an ear out for anyone who would like to give that kind of time to a beautiful dog who has been treated so cruelly. huuuuuuge hugs, you are not a failure in any way. you are such a generous, inspirational, extraordinary woman and you have done amazing things for her. You have taught her that not everybody is cruel, that she is loved, that she is worthy and that is such a massive gift to her. Go easy on yourself. smile
xxx
Naw thanks OC, I really feel it's the right decision. It's draining on us and now stressful for us too - which obviously means we've lost faith in helping her and our patience is disapearing. Which I'm sure she picks up on because she has been worse lately. Feeling a bit better about it since I've realised this.

My mum suggested today that we put her down... I thought she would be the last person to say that because she has always been against us when I've mentioned finding a new home. Not that mum has been a reliable source of support ever.... but maybe it really is time to admit defeat. We'll see..... I'm really really really hopeful to find a passionate animal lover that will have a brand new faith in helping her.




What a hard decision you both had to make. The fact you last 5 years is very good.
I think you will find a good home for her.

Don't blame yourself, because you did everything you could. She may need to go to someone that had experiance in this type of thing with animals.




Generally when i hear of someone giving away a pet for whatever reason i cringe and want to poke them in the eyes, BUT i have read your many threads about this pooch and you know what, don't beat yourself up about it, 5 years is a lot of time and effort to put into an animal and have little sucess, I really hope you can find someone willing to take her on, a retired dog trainer would be super ideal LOL you need to do what is right for you and your family and the dog, good luck smile
I am a real animal lover to be honest but i know about your dog, from past posts but to be honest wouldn't it be kinder to have her put down unless you can find a lovely new owner. but wouldn't her being away from you be worse and more stressful for her?

I honestly think you need to seek advice from a professional dog trainer or spca or someone who can guide you to make the right decission for her. NOT what is the right decission for you. and what makes you feel better.

this is my honest view, i know you have though about this really i know you have but just for peace of mind get some proffessional advice for her. but then again someone magic might come along, and the vet or someone might know of someone.

that is what happened with mum and dad dog was a dog like yours and 4 years she is still with them. hoping for the best your you and your doggie
Can I ask what kind of lab it is?

We had a lab too that we couldn't control. He was a chocolate labrador (apparently they are what the breeders called "bastards" - charming I know!) We got him as a pup and we did all what was advised, but still he could not be tamed.

We had just moved into a new house when I was 39 weeks pregnant and Jack couldn't come with us as we had no fences or gates. We were stuck as nobody wanted him at their house. Our good friends put their hands up to take him temporarily.

It was a few months before we could get fences up and we realised how good life was without Jack. I started to look around for someone to take him as well. Initially, I called the Guide Dogs of Australia and they were really helpful, but our friends fell in love with him and did not want to give him back.

So it was a win win situation.

I do wish you the best of luck.
She's a lab retriever. She spent her first 2 yrs of life being abused. I don't know how severe the abuse was but I'm guessing it must have been pretty damn awful considering she has spent more of her life with a loving family than not, and she still can't get past her problems

I have done all the research I possibly can. I have trained dogs my whole life - even as a child I always had a dog & always had them be super faithful & obedient. No one knows this dog like I do. It's even to the point that I can't leave the glass sliding door open because the wind whistling through the screen petrifies her. This is not a matter of getting a trainer to train her. These are genuine fears & anxieties which is why I'm really torn between finding a new home and having her put down - because I can't see her changing, ever. And yes.... new owners will be stressful for her, and I'm concerned about this. Probably deep down I just can't bring myself to actually have her put down.

She's nearly 7 years old... she's a fully grown adult dog that wouldn't hurt a fly. I guess she has that submissive 'beaten wife' thing happening & she has not grown much more confident even being with us. Dd has been taught how to treat her too & is wonderful with her.dd is also going to be devastated.

We havnt tried medicating her.... its just another cost we are not willing to go for. Her vet bills already cost thousands per year with her special dietary needs and chronic ear infections. I have a feeling we made a mistake spending the money to save her when we first met her. sad sad

Unless someone amazing comes along I can't see us finding the right someone, in which case it'll have to be hubby do that dreaded trip.





She's a lab retriever. She spent her first 2 yrs of life being abused. I don't know how severe the abuse was but I'm guessing it must have been pretty damn awful considering she has spent more of her life with a loving family than not, and she still can't get past her problems

I have done all the research I possibly can. I have trained dogs my whole life - even as a child I always had a dog & always had them be super faithful & obedient. No one knows this dog like I do. It's even to the point that I can't leave the glass sliding door open because the wind whistling through the screen petrifies her. This is not a matter of getting a trainer to train her. These are genuine fears & anxieties which is why I'm really torn between finding a new home and having her put down - because I can't see her changing, ever. And yes.... new owners will be stressful for her, and I'm concerned about this. Probably deep down I just can't bring myself to actually have her put down.

She's nearly 7 years old... she's a fully grown adult dog that wouldn't hurt a fly. I guess she has that submissive 'beaten wife' thing happening & she has not grown much more confident even being with us. Dd has been taught how to treat her too & is wonderful with her.dd is also going to be devastated.

We havnt tried medicating her.... its just another cost we are not willing to go for. Her vet bills already cost thousands per year with her special dietary needs and chronic ear infections. I have a feeling we made a mistake spending the money to save her when we first met her. sad sad

Unless someone amazing comes along I can't see us finding the right someone, in which case it'll have to be hubby do that dreaded trip.


As hard as it is you are the only one that knows the dog well and I KNOW you will make the right decision for everyone involved. You are an intelligent caring woman (from what I have read).

We found a kitten a few years back and it had all the signs of being abused...One day after a dozen other 'attacks' it tore my fly screen into little shards (I still have no idea how) and we found him lying on his side panting and heaving and eyes rolling...he was just such a mess and like you, we didn't want to put that onto another family. We tried for 2 years (so not even close to the time and effort you and your family have put in) but in the end had him put down. Even the vet agreed it was the right thing to do.

Let your hubby be the strong one for you, if you decide its the right thing to do.
Sign in to follow this topic