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do i have a right?? Rss

ok, quick run down, my dad and i are very close, was just me and him when him and mum split when i was 15, my brother went off the rails and did his own thing, didnt give a f%^* about no one, so at 45 my dad was diagnosed with alzhiemers, he moved to queensland to be with my aunt and her family to be looked after, so now he is 51 and in the last stages and in a home(still in queensland) so the past few years my brother has gotten on track and sorted himself out, me, my DH have been to visit him frequently but not my bro he has only been once and that was not long ago but my dad doesnt even know who anyone is, my aunt and brother have always had some issues, and my aunt has always bagged him out, so my problem is, last night my brother gets a phone call to say my dad has had a seizure.. i didnt get a phone call only him, and my brother has only rang me now to tell him, he said oh you dont need to be angry i didnt want to worry you when there is nothing we can do anyway..WTF.... why didnt they ring me, he has 2 kids not 1...and why does my brother now care,i was always there for everything, EVERYTHING....do i honestly have a right to be angry???? would u??

ok, quick run down, my dad and i are very close, was just me and him when him and mum split when i was 15, my brother went off the rails and did his own thing, didnt give a f%^* about no one, so at 45 my dad was diagnosed with alzhiemers, he moved to queensland to be with my aunt and her family to be looked after, so now he is 51 and in the last stages and in a home(still in queensland) so the past few years my brother has gotten on track and sorted himself out, me, my DH have been to visit him frequently but not my bro he has only been once and that was not long ago but my dad doesnt even know who anyone is, my aunt and brother have always had some issues, and my aunt has always bagged him out, so my problem is, last night my brother gets a phone call to say my dad has had a seizure.. i didnt get a phone call only him, and my brother has only rang me now to tell him, he said oh you dont need to be angry i didnt want to worry you when there is nothing we can do anyway..WTF.... why didnt they ring me, he has 2 kids not 1...and why does my brother now care,i was always there for everything, EVERYTHING....do i honestly have a right to be angry???? would u??


Maybe you should get in contact with the home that your dad is in and ask that, in the future, you be contacted immediately for anything to do with your dad. Maybe your brother told them to take you off the contact list? Other issues with your brother could be a factor, but you just need to calmly tell the home your wishes. Getting mad at them will most likely result in you not getting what you want.
i think you do have a right to be angry, but it's really not going help anyone in this situation. mayhe the home didn't call you because your brother said he would call you, maybe they just assumed your brother would call you, which he didn't.

As supaexcited said, call the home, ask what happened, ask why you weren't called, but dont be angry on the phone, they will be less likely to help you if you are cranky. just explain the situation and they should be able to do what you ask.

you will feel much better and alot less angry once you get a few answers and have everything sorted.

good luck
sorry i should of explained that better, im just angry, the home calls my aunty straight away, as she is there almost all the time and she is the one who calls us to tell us, which we r happy with as she is i suppose his gaurdian...so im angry at her that she didnt call me....
then ask your aunty the same question. it may have been late last night, she may have just gone straigh to see your dad, she may have asked your brother to call you, she may have decided not to call last night to find out more info before letting you know, there could be a valid reason for what happened. i would find out before having a go, just incase there is a reason, you really dont need any unnecessary tension during this time.

i can understand why you are angry, i would feel the same, but again, its not going to help you or your dad.

hope your dad recovers well. such a tough time for you regardless of what has just happened.
Also go to family court and apply for power of attorney over your father so any decisions can't be made without you...

my dad has just had to do this for his brother

Also go to family court and apply for power of attorney over your father so any decisions can't be made without you...

my dad has just had to do this for his brother

It would be enduring power of attorney due to his having alzheimers. Has he already signed epoa over to your aunt though? Its not uncommon for people to do it fairly early on while they are still legally considered compus mentis (damn latin spelling )

Love my boys M-10/05/08 J-01/12/09

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