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  5. ok just maybe I am in a bad mood !!

ok just maybe I am in a bad mood !! Rss

may (and I say MAY) have been a little snippy today ...but crap ..what Luke just did to me can is going to do nothing for my disposition !


Hubby hasnt been home in days and I am about to explode ...actually this arvo I did !!

I dont understand shyness ..I dotn get it ..naver experienced it myself but I am constantly haveing to deal with Lukes shyness ..thats ok ..I am his mum ..I can deal with it ..but that is not to say it does not get hard every now and then ....

Luke has an issue stepping outside his comfort zone ..I get that ..I make allowances for it all the time (as I should ) ...so I ease him into things gently ..I dont push and I engourage him lots ..it is tiering ...

he has been doing taekwando for weeks now and he was shy at first but the intructor is fantastic and is super gentle with him ..patient and understnading ..so this arvo when we walk in he stands there and stares at me ..wouldnt walk on the mat ..nothing ..he just stood there looking at me ..I did everything I normally do when he getts an attack of the shys ..but he wouldnt budge ..he just stood there ...so I asked him if he just wants to go home ..he said no ...I told him that he had to join in ..he wouldnt budge ..so with everyone looking I snapped and said that he had three seconds to get on the mat or we are going home ...i counted to three he still wouldnt go and so I picked him up screaming (no mean feat when you only have one hand cause you have a 14month old in the other) and put him in the car kicking and screaming at me that he wants to do it ...we had "words" in the car and he promised me he would do it ..so back in we go ..but I had to stand there on the mat beside him so as he diddnt have another mini meltdown and we would have to leave ....

so he stood there and just half assed kicked and I was getting wilder and wilder and wilder ...then cracked another little darky when I said he couldnt buy a pk of twisties afterwards ( our little treat ) ..

SO that was a lovely little display of parenting on my behalf this arvo ...I am beyond ashamed of myself sad

Dont be ashamed we all get pushed to our limits by our kids and our understanding simply floats out the window with out patience.

I actually think what you did was appropriate. Why should he be there is he's not participating? Anyway cheer up and try and get a good nights rest smile
Shyness is a tough one when your not at all shy yourself! Lachlan (4) is the shyest child ever, and it drives me round the bend sometimes! He will not talk to other kids and hides behind me or cries when he is in new situations, takes ages to try new things and will not leave his confort zone either! They have lots of chances to socialise and we go out every day and see the same kids week in week out at activities, but he still will not talk to the new kid at playgroup/daycare, and still only plays with 2 little boys at kinda! Im hoping that as he goes to school and gets involved in sporting activities or something, that it will help. I dont think its a confidence thing coz their is no more praise that i could give him than i already do and sometimes i just dont know how to deal with it without have a mummy meltdown!

And then Rory (2) is the most outgoing child ever! Talks to everyone and anyone, overwhelms new kids with his 'friendliness' and is the total opposite to his brother!

Oh buggar that's awful for both of you! Losing it happens to the best of us. Maybe take him aside tomorrow and have a little one on one time with him, explain your actions to him and apologise if you feel you need to. Maybe he will be able to explain to you what was going on with him too.
that is why I chose taekwando ...I thought it would be good confidence builder for him ...get him into some sort of regular sport ..and he is bloody good at it to ...so it is not like he is not getting better ..he has a couple of the moves down pat and he genuinly enjoys it....

Lukes dad is the same ...Hubby is painfully shy aswell ....so he deals with it even worse then I do ...jono will push and get angry cause he doesnt want Luke to go through what he went through cause he was shy ... I dont think it works like that !!

Luke keeps coming up to me and saying "are you still angry mum " I have to asure him that I love him but I dont like his behavour ...it is exhausting trying not to distroy him ...but god ..he needs so much propping up !!

GBH it's hard to remember they are only little. It's good that he likes it, otherwise I would say he's not ready, but it sounds like he was just in a mood. It's good that he is talking to you though. Maybe see if you can use it as a learning point? And if that works tell me how you do it.
That would be exhausting!

Do you know what triggered today's episode...has he had an altercation with one of the other kids there? Are they learning a new move/routine that he maybe doesnt understand or has difficulty doing? Or is this just him and how he reacts sometimes.
Been there, done that. Try not to worry too much about it. We've all lost it at some time; kids are really good at pushing our buttons. You're obviously a great Mum - if you weren't you wouldn't be feeling guilty. Have a talk with Luke tomorrow and tell him you'll try harder next time to be patient and maybe he can try harder to participate in his class.
being shy is awful. I was and still am a shy person. Once i know people im actually pretty outgoing, but when it comes to new people i don't know or a new situation, i freak. I am hopeless at starting conversation and 'meeting new people'. I will say no to offers of food and drink, and to paticipate in ativities etc out of panic just so i won't get attention. I think im getting better now, being pregnant and all, but it's taken me 23years to get this way.
When i was younger my mum used to get angry with me, probably more frustrated really because in social situations i always had to be around someone i knew. ALWAYS! I would follow her around everywhere, and if she went to the toilet or whatever i would stay put til she came back and only speak when spoken to.
but as i say i am getting better now, DP is the complete opposite and he understands my shyness coompletely and helps me alot. But i think just growing up and realising mummy can't hold my hand everywhere i go, and having friends move away and getting pregnant I have come out my shell because I've had to!

Patience is the best thing. I wasn't as bad as he sounds, i did go to gymanstics and a few extracurricular activities. But i would never talk to the other kids or make friends, id wait for them to aproach me, and even then id give them one word answers out of panic. it was hard. somehow i still had great friends though and made it through.

just be patient with him and keep on encouraging it's all you can do smile hopefully he grows out of it soon smile
swap ya.
you can have my loud boisterous sometimes obnoxious DD smile

swap ya.
you can have my loud boisterous sometimes obnoxious DD smile

No I've already told her she can have mine tongue

No I've already told her she can have mine tongue

dang it! thought i was in for a holiday there LOL

just kidding Frances - I know we all have our issues and one trait is not necessarily easier to deal with than another - just wanted to clarify that in case I was misunderstood.
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