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My DP and his dog... Rss

Ok- so here's the back story...

My DP and I are a little "unsettled" in our relationship at the moment due to the way he acts with his dogs.
They are like babies to him, they sleep on the bed (he actually spoons one of them, every night), they live in the house- and on the couches, they sit on his lap whenever he is sitting down, they go with him everywhere (to the point where my DS and I couldn't even drop him off at the airport properly because he wanted the dogs to come in the car and obviously they couldn't be left there by themselves). My DS can barely go anywhere near them because he may "play too rough"and hurt them- or THEIR FEELINGS!
My DS had a health scare a few weeks back and its been said that it will probably develop into asthma soon, i asked him what we would do with the dogs being inside if it turns out that he does get asthma and he "jokes" the he will buy me a good vacuum cleaner and i can vacuum twice a day! He often says that if one of his dogs in particular was a human, he would marry her in a second... with me sitting beside him- which makes me feel like crap as his girlfriend!
BY THE WAY- these dogs are Border Collies, not little lap dogs.
Dont get me wrong- i absolutely LOVE all animals, but at the end of the day- they have their place and i dont believe a human should ever be "lower in the pack" than a dog!

Now my question/s to you is...

How healthy/unhealthy is it to have a relationship like that with a dog??
Do you think this is going too far?
What would you do if in this situation?
Anyone been in this situation- how did you handle it??

blink

TIA
Never been in this position and would probably RUN! BUT, I am not an animal person at all. Sure I can appreciate them, but to me they are JUST animals, no way would they come before a person. I presume he is spooning the one he would marry and IMO, that is weird. Sorry. Good luck with this one, it will be a tricky one. I think you just need to have a really good talk to him about his priorities.
Ok wow that is weird and a little unsettling.

I would probably get out there quicker than he can say *Insert dogs name* will you marry me! I really could not be in a relationship with a person that is that attached to his animals that he ACTUALLY spoons one in bed instead of me, and the fact he would marry one if they were human- ok woah lol.

You could try laying down some ground rules as I think your DS health SHOULD come first and see how they go other than that (and besides run a mile LOL) I really have no other advice!

Good Luck hopefully someone can help you!
i am very much an animal person but i see the effects of having an animal think they are higher up on the list than others and that leads to biting. my sisters dog is like this and will quite often bite my nephew if he gets to close to her at times when she doesnt want it. Because of this we are all very wary of her and my kids and keep them separated at all times. i could definately see her biting them if they got too close but they will not change the way they treat her and it is not my place to ask.

given that you guys live together, i think that there should definately be some sort of comprimise, especially if your little one is asthamatic.

it's a toughy cos i can understand how much you can love your pets, so what you might be asking of him is just too much in his eyes to change iykwim.

good luck. it is ok to love your animals, just dont looooove your animals. spooning your dog when your mrs is in bed with you is a bit of a no no imo.
Now my question/s to you is...

How healthy/unhealthy is it to have a relationship like that with a dog??
Do you think this is going too far?
What would you do if in this situation?
Anyone been in this situation- how did you handle it??


Hmmm My old cat was like my baby and I totally spoiled her. She got to sleep on the bed (she was old) but she had to sleep on my side she occasionally triggered DH's asthma. However she did not go in the car and if we had little people over (no kids at the time) she made herself scarce or I put her at the other end of the house.

However as much as she was my baby she was also a pet. When mrM came along sure she got fussed over still but she was put in her place. Funnily enough it was our other cat who is an outside cat that got territorial and caused trouble.

To me he is taking it too far. And to be honest I would walk if my childs health and wellbeing was placed below that of a dog. Is he your sons father? I only ask from the way you say "My DS".

Love my boys M-10/05/08 J-01/12/09


Hmmm My old cat was like my baby and I totally spoiled her. She got to sleep on the bed (she was old) but she had to sleep on my side she occasionally triggered DH's asthma. However she did not go in the car and if we had little people over (no kids at the time) she made herself scarce or I put her at the other end of the house.

However as much as she was my baby she was also a pet. When mrM came along sure she got fussed over still but she was put in her place. Funnily enough it was our other cat who is an outside cat that got territorial and caused trouble.

To me he is taking it too far. And to be honest I would walk if my childs health and wellbeing was placed below that of a dog. Is he your sons father? I only ask from the way you say "My DS".


No he is not my DS's father... but has been more of one to him than DS's own "father"...

He thinks there is nothing wrong with me having to vacuum the house twice a day cause thats what HIS mother did (DP has asthma too)- so in order for her son to have any sort of a life with animals - she did that for him... Me on the other hand- would rather just keep the dogs inside to a minimum!

The dogs came before us- so i can understand his attachment to them, but still- I am HUMAN... and i think he needs to know that his behaviour towards them is not normal...

I am going to show him all this when he gets back- hopefully THEN he will understand - maybe... smile

I love animals, so having them around all the time doesnt bother me, its just the cuddling the dog instead of me at night that gets me, and my sons health- i think if these two things arent dealt with I will have to walk... sad
I think maybe give him a little more time. Bring up your concerns with him but it may take him a while to adjust because as you said the dogs came first so he has probably gotten very comfortable and doesn't realise how strange it is to cuddle the dog and not his new woman yet! laugh

I'm an animal lover (though not much of a dog person, would never want one in my bed!) so I can understand his attachment but I do think he needs to rethink his priorities. Also agree with the PP that your son needs to be above the dogs in the pecking order or it may start some trouble.

Good Luck! I hope he can come around. smile

I think maybe give him a little more time. Bring up your concerns with him but it may take him a while to adjust because as you said the dogs came first so he has probably gotten very comfortable and doesn't realise how strange it is to cuddle the dog and not his new woman yet! laugh

I'm an animal lover (though not much of a dog person, would never want one in my bed!) so I can understand his attachment but I do think he needs to rethink his priorities. Also agree with the PP that your son needs to be above the dogs in the pecking order or it may start some trouble.

Good Luck! I hope he can come around. smile


Thanks Sette- i will do that... grin
i love my dogs. we have 2 and they were our babies before we had a baby.
i can understand the close relationship with them as dogs quite literally are "mans best friend"
but it doesnt sound healthy because he is putting them before his human relationships.

i would try to explain how you feel and that the priorities need to change somewhat, but i also would not be expecting him to make them outside dogs if they've always been allowed indoors etc. It has to be a compromise. The last thing you would want is for the animals to feel rejected and start displaying negative behaviours because of that.

good luck

i would try to explain how you feel and that the priorities need to change somewhat, but i also would not be expecting him to make them outside dogs if they've always been allowed indoors etc. It has to be a compromise. The last thing you would want is for the animals to feel rejected and start displaying negative behaviours because of that.

good luck


Good point!! Thanks for that smile
Aww hun that doesnt sound very nice! I feel for you! I dont think im really in a position to give advice as i really am not an animal lover, but i dont think no matter how loved a pet should not be more important than a human being! I would be having a chat with DP (as hard as that would be) and just explain that you are feeling second best.
Goodluck!
I'd be putting my foot down. Dogs should be outside animals. There is no way they should be allowed on the lounges, let alone on your bed... They are a pack animal, and he is basically showing them that they are higher in the pack than you and DS. They should be fed AFTER you eat, and never allowed onto the furniture, even if you do let them inside. Maybe you could have one room that they are allowed in, and try to keep the rest of the house pet-free.

I do love dogs, but they are animals, not family members, no matter how much your DP loves them, your son should come first.

Madelyn Jean - Jul 08. Emily Florence - Nov 09

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