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  5. Getting married - And my father is not happy about it :S

Getting married - And my father is not happy about it :S Rss

Hi there.
I am 23 and finally marrying my partner of 6years. We have two llittle boys smile
Though ! My father is not happy about the wedding celebration at all.. pretty much wants nothing to do with it.
I have always been pretty close to my dad, but since my mum and him split 3 years ago we arnt as close. Still talk but not like it used to be.
So we announce we are getting married and my dads comment is "why would you waste your money on that?". It like just because his marraige didnt work I shouldnt even bother.
I sent out save the date cards a few days ago and gave one to my dad. While I wasnt present he said to my sister that I am wasting my money, should be getting married and the family doesnt even get along so I am just causing trouble and also its too akward etc. he was apparently going off his head about it sad.
Now that my sister has told me this I just feel sad, and heartbroken, that my dad cant even be happy for me. My partner and I have done well in our relationship, we both have good jobs, we would do anytihng for our boys and we enjoy been together doing things together and everything else that comes with been in a little family. But its obviously not good enough for my dad....
So at the moment I feel like telling him not to even bother coming to the wedding.. its just so weird as I could cope with it a little better if my dad and I never got along, but its not the case. Its all because he will feel uncomfortable about been there..
What should I do ! If i try to talk to him he will probably go off.. Just feel like not inviting him or his side of the family.. how sad is that..

Was the split between your parents hard? Or the marriage became bitter at the end??

I'm only asking because my Mum was very similar when I told her that I was getting married. I chose a date 2 years in advance because it was the same day my husband and I started going out and she told me I needed to change it because she wasn't going to be in the country. When I refused she chucked a tantrum about having to change her plans, was very passive agressive the entire 2 years of planning, refused to see me on the morning of the wedding or help me in anyway, brought her new partner (who we didn't know they were an item, she was still married to dad at the time) to my wedding against my wishes and even up until a week before I got married was continuously saying "you can still change your mind".

It wasn't that she didn't like my husband, we'd been together 5 years by the time we got married, she just didn't like the idea of me getting married because she felt her marriage had been a complete waste of her life (she is very melodramatic and self absorbed though so I took it with a grain of salt) however I was hurt that she couldn't put her personal feelings aside to be happy for me. She left dad 2 weeks after we were married saying she didn't want to steal the thunder of my day (even though she put on a show for the family of being the teary mother of the bride but pretty much ignored me) and the reason she wanted me to change the date was because she had planned to leave well before but I spoilt her plans.

I hope your dad comes round for you, i know it can feel pretty devastating sad

My parents split was really bitter, my dad left my mum for another women. But also before he left my mum was a bit over his moods and told him she wanted to end it. (when dad left though I think mum realised she didnt really want him to leave) but my dad actually regrets leaving my mum, he always says he regrets it and I think he knows he made a big mistake.
My sisters are saying he will come around before the wedding and will be ok. I really dont think he will sadly. Just scared that when he is here to get ready to go to the ceromony he will be his usually bad mooded self and make me feel so sad in a bad way and it will ruin my whole day... Everyone is telling me not to say something to him. But for me I think I need to, i want my wedding to be beautiful happy and everything its supposed to be..

I think I would try talking to him about it. You don't want it to be a distraction for you on your big day. Then atleast you also know that you've made the effort with him to sort things out.

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