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  5. Wedding Question...involving the soon-to-be inlaws!!!

Wedding Question...involving the soon-to-be inlaws!!! Rss

Sorry for another wedding question ladies but i have just had one pop into my head while cleaning bubs bottles lol my fiances parents are divorced. his mother is remarried to a really lovely guy who we all love and his father has a partner (lets just call her suzie) who he has been with for ages and might i add, i dont think she likes me every much now...since 2 days ago. i as having a public convo on facebook with my soon to be mother inlaw and "suzie" saw it and took it the wrong way so my fiance got an abusive phonecall about it when it had nothing to do with him, needless to say she must hate me now. i was always told never to cross "suzie" and well i have...not intentionally. anyways, we are going to get married next year or 2012, well im hoping next december and i have told my fiance suzie is not welcome in our home or near our son. but i have realised i will need to invite her to the wedding cause its the grooms fathers partner? i think it would be rude not to invite her cause it would stir up sooooooooooo much trouble. i had already decided anyway that her kids from her previous relationship wont be invited because we hardly see them and dont know them much because they live in NSW with my fiances father and "suzie" (my partner did live with them for a year or so but moved back with his mother because of the kids). we hardly see my fiances father let alone her kids. 2 are in highschool so i know not inviting them wont be a problem but one child is still in primary school around grade 3. what should i do? i want to keep numbers down and i dont see why we should invite the child when it isnt his fathers and we dont know him very well. if we saw him heaps, it wouldnt be a problem, he would be like family then.i know that sounds mean but it is a very small wedding (under 50 people). there wont be anyone there his age either. there wont be many kids at all. 5 kids that are relly's and 2 that are close friends of the family that we see almost every week-2 weeks. im confused. i dont want to start trouble but i dont want to invite someone who we hardly see or know. i havent spoken about this with my partner cause we are only starting to plan and atm, hes kinda left the planning and researching to me so then we can decided what we are doing for the wedding. thanks for reading ladies, please feel free to give me idea of what to do...
Hi

Firstly, yes, I agree, it is your special day and you don't need or want someone upsetting you or other guests.

But, as your FIL's partner, it would be rude not to invite her. She is, in a round about kind of way, your fiances step mother. Invite her. If she declines, you've done your bit by asking and she can't complain about that.

On the other side of the coin, if she attends and cannot put differences aside to celebrate your special day with you both without causing headaches, she has problems.

As for the children, I wouldn't invite them considering they are not immediate family and you don't know them.

Have you tried to contact her to explain the misunderstanding? I'd be contacting her before things get really blown out of proportion. If you make the effort, no one can throw blame back on you.

Don't forget, anything you say to your fiance is going to put him in an awkward position too, if they get along well. He won't want to hurt either of you or his father. You don't need this to come between you two.

We are getting married in about a month and some of our invited guests don't get along with each other, but as they are important to us, they all had to be asked. Our wedding is even smaller, 27 guests.

Did you get along well beforehand? If so, why not get her involved with some of the planning. It might help heal the rift.

As you are thinking of your wedding towards the end of next year or sometime in 2012, it gives time for everyone to settle down and bridges may be mended.

Hope the planning goes well for you.
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