Huggies Forum

feeling so hurt Rss

im not sure where to post this, but anyway, me and my DP have been together 4 years and have a 2month old together and he has a son from a previous relationship, I would do anything for my stepson and with visitation issues have always fought for my DP to get his visits. before I was due I made a comment that I wanted MIL to watch stepson for the first visit after I gave birth as I was scared of looking after a newborn and caring for stepson while my DP worked, SIL was not happy when she heard this and I said I don't want to be dealing with them both as im learning, well after the birth SIL made no effort to meet our baby and made dramas over my choice not to breastfeed. last night I hosted a party for my DP bday and had to put baby to bed I asked numerous times for the music to be lowered a bit, SIL made rude snarky comments I could hear through the wall, anyway all the inlaws ended up leaving and I crashed out while trying to put baby to bed so missed half the bbq. I txt MIL telling her about the rest of the party mentioned that DP lost $50 somewhere and asked what SIL problem with me was. I then txt SIL to ask if she had a prob with me and that id like her to tell me about it to try sort it, next thing MIL and SIL went nuts accusing me of breaking up there family and causing drama and being evil to stepson because I wouldn't watch him the weekend after baby was born, and that I shouldn't have hosted a bbq if I had a baby and apparently I accused SIL of stealing the $50, I of course went nuts back. I just wanted to sort out any drama SIL had with me like adults I cant believe it ended like this on DP birthday! I feel bad for him and he has my back as he knows I would do anything for his son. I feel so hurt I always got on well with MIL and SIL has always seemed ok with me. DP wont talk to SIL now and SIL and MIL blame me, and MIL said she doesn't want to ever see me again, but expects DP to take our sons around to see them without me, I feel like they have no right to see baby if they cant respect me being his mum and accuse me of such horrid things. SIL never met baby till 2 months because she hates me, so why would I want her near him. I just cant believe they have done this to me and especially DP on his bday, they say I cause drama at every party. its ment to be my fault that the family wont be together at xmas and it hurts that they accuse me of breaking there family apart especially when iv had so much respect for MIL she has done a lot for us.... I just had to rant somewhere and would love it if anyone could give me any advice on what to do, I feel so bad for DP but he tells me not to worry its SIL fault which I know but its still hard.
No advice sorry, just virtual hugs cos I know how hard it is when you have in law problems. I do too and quite honestly have given up trying to be pleasant after 18 months of receiving insults and hurtful remarks from his family.
the hardest part is that I got on with MIL so well before and SIL has caused this yet somehow I am breaking up the family... they told DP that they want to see the boys once a month and that he must take them to there house for the day without me. I refuse to let them near my son, i have no say over stepson so obviously they can see him but why should i let them bully me and accuse me of all that i haven't done and still allow them to see my son. i already know that when DP goes there they are just going to fill his head with lies and cause trouble between us. i feel that maybe i should just leave DP now before they convince him to leave me, he says he has my back and doesn't want them to get between us but i know they will try everything to break us.
WOW this sounds so similar to a situation my best friend is currently going thru!! (My best friend has been dealing with these issues with her MIL/SIL/BIL for 4 years now. Drama after drama and unfortunately it is far from over. SIL hasnt invited them to her wedding even. I hope it doesnt drag on for that long for you!)
Sounds like you are sticking to your guns (and good on you for that) - i would imagine MIL will come around eventually. continue to invite them over for bdays and get togethers..... in laws can be very tricky and can drag on for a while, but dont let anyone pressure you into believing you arent a good parent.
Taking care of your stepson is a role you have taken on for years, and one event happened in which you wanted him to receive the attention he deserves at a time when you couldnt provide it.. and you are being punished... I dont understand it myself...
I guess my best advice would be to not stop your partner from seeing his family-dont leave him unless you have a genuine reason to.
This is silly and will probably be resolved in time.

Good luck!!!!
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