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  5. Refuses to Poo on the toilet.

Refuses to Poo on the toilet. Rss

Hi smile
I know there are other topics like this on on here, but i felt they werent exactly the same.
My DS is 3yrs and 5mths. He goes wee's on the toilet beautifully, at home and out. At all times not needing a pull up (and not wanting one) even at Kindy.
But poo's... no no no.
He refuses to sit on the potty or toilet for Poo's. He cries, he kicks, he gets angry and hits the walls. It breaks my heart. I try to be firm, to be mean. Ive Locked us in the toilet and told him he cant come out till hes done poo's. My husband and i have even held him on the toilet for over an hour.
We have done the bribing and started a star chart and telling him other kids do it...
He gets the cramps and the pain, he tells me about them and crys, bends over and holds his bum all the while refusing to go.
Last week he went four days without anything and on monday i gave in and he immediately went off and did poos, which was slightly bulky and firm looking.
I work at a rest-home, im very conscious of constipation and i worry about him.

To make matters worse ive a Mother in law who thinks she knows everything, and is putting the pressure on me and DS to do poos in the toilet, i get lectures each time i see her, so i lie to her when he doesnt do it... *sigh*

So my question is, amongst any other suggestions that may come, should i let him hold off for a few days and then let him go in a pull-up?
Any ideas?
Sorry for the long typing sad i cant moan to hubby about his mum lol.

Hi smile
I know there are other topics like this on on here, but i felt they werent exactly the same.
My DS is 3yrs and 5mths. He goes wee's on the toilet beautifully, at home and out. At all times not needing a pull up (and not wanting one) even at Kindy.
But poo's... no no no.
He refuses to sit on the potty or toilet for Poo's. He cries, he kicks, he gets angry and hits the walls. It breaks my heart. I try to be firm, to be mean. Ive Locked us in the toilet and told him he cant come out till hes done poo's. My husband and i have even held him on the toilet for over an hour.
We have done the bribing and started a star chart and telling him other kids do it...
He gets the cramps and the pain, he tells me about them and crys, bends over and holds his bum all the while refusing to go.
Last week he went four days without anything and on monday i gave in and he immediately went off and did poos, which was slightly bulky and firm looking.
I work at a rest-home, im very conscious of constipation and i worry about him.

To make matters worse ive a Mother in law who thinks she knows everything, and is putting the pressure on me and DS to do poos in the toilet, i get lectures each time i see her, so i lie to her when he doesnt do it... *sigh*

So my question is, amongst any other suggestions that may come, should i let him hold off for a few days and then let him go in a pull-up?
Any ideas?
Sorry for the long typing sad i cant moan to hubby about his mum lol.




HI there,

I am going through something very similar with my 3 year old DD. My DD refuses to poo full stop! She used to go ok in pull ups and the potty. Now she wont go at all! She holds it in to the point where I have had to go to the GP who has now put her on a long programme of laxatives and enemas combined with a new diet. So not pleasant! I hate having to give her the meds but if I didnt she wouldnt poo at all and that can cause all sorts of issues. We think that when she has been at daycare (I am now at home full time) she had not been drinking as much as she should and got constipated which led to a painful poo, this has scared her now into going for a poo as she associates it with pain. So now we are on the long road to rebuild her confidence and keep her emptying her bowels. I hope that you can remedy this with your son before it gets to this stage as it is very distressing and frustrating for the parents and the child. The best thing I can advise is to go talk to your GP, make sure fibre is a big part of the diet to keep stools soft and painless to pass when he does pass things like veg, fruit such as watermelon, apples and pears but NOT Bananas and try to avoind giving too much milk and dairy, also lots of water. Oh and my doctor recommended Pear juice. It comes in a tin so you will need a storage jug to keep in the fridge but it works a treat if they have 2 cups a day.

Good luck x Sarah
Thanks Sarah.
Sorry to hear what you're having to go through sad its exactly what im fearing.
Shopping day is tomorrow, we will definitely try that pear juice.
Its a good point about not drinking much at day-care/Kindy, id not thought of that... he probably spends his whole time playing.

Ive had an idea and we are trying it now.
Hes in a pull-up but instead of hiding under the table, hes gone into the toilet and is doing it in there.

Surely this is a step towards?
RELAX.

He will be ready in his own time.

He may have had a painful poo, and is scared to do more.

I recommend you keep him hydrated, to avoid a HARD one.

Banana smoothies are great for getting the bowels going.

1 - 2 bananas, 200 - 500 ml yoghurt, same amount of milk, tablespoon honey e and a shake of nutmeng. Throw it in the blender, etc.

Sipper Cups I find are the best serving device.

All the best,

x Lindie
Forgive me I ment to add :

TRY as hard as you can, NOT to pressure him into doing poo. THIS will NOT help. (I understand yr frustration.)

Perhaps, leave the door open and let him watch you/partner do poo. Show him what it looks like, and give him the "Honour" of the flush

AND/OR

I find my Maternity Health Nurse to be a wealth of information.

Perhaps, ask yrs for some help.
Hi my boy was doing the same thing. I knew when he had to go for a poo and would sit him on the toilet and he would sit there for a long time and as soon as his pant was back on he'd do a poo and Id get angry at him.

I took books out on it and it said that first of all you should get your kid to not be embarrassed about pooing. chear and be happy even if it is in his pants. Tell him he is clever for pooing. If he feels poo is bad and disgusting he would hold it and start getting constipated wich would make things painfull and even worse. Also show him the poos hes done and talk about the colour and say thing like wow there is the peanut you had yesterday.

If they think you are happy about what they do they will try and please you even more and first start getting exited telling you they pooed and then later on pooing in n potty.

Goodluck

Hi my boy was doing the same thing. I knew when he had to go for a poo and would sit him on the toilet and he would sit there for a long time and as soon as his pant was back on he'd do a poo and Id get angry at him.

I took books out on it and it said that first of all you should get your kid to not be embarrassed about pooing. chear and be happy even if it is in his pants. Tell him he is clever for pooing. If he feels poo is bad and disgusting he would hold it and start getting constipated wich would make things painfull and even worse. Also show him the poos hes done and talk about the colour and say thing like wow there is the peanut you had yesterday.

If they think you are happy about what they do they will try and please you even more and first start getting exited telling you they pooed and then later on pooing in n potty.

Goodluck


I agree. I added my own twist though...
If he didn't try to go to the loo and did it in his pants, I cheered and said well done you can poop, as I ushered him into the bathroom to have a shower. He ended up getting the message that a pants poop = undressing and showering and wasting valuable play time and was soon trying the loo again. I made it more fun by buying him a Lupi Lu for the big toilet. This special seat solved my problem. He loves showing other kids!
We are having similiar issues with our 3 1/2 year old boy. Does wee's standing at the toilet and no day nappy for sleeps.
He will not do poo's on the toilet. He holds off going for up to 4 days when he then complains of a sore belly, sore bottom and you know it's bad when he just wants to lay down. He gets very lethargic about this time. He will eventually poo in his undies.
I finally resorted to getting some parachoc from the chemist, which provides lubrication of the bowel and softens the poo's. Apparently it's not a laxative as it doesn't make them go, its just bascially liquid glycerine.
I am concerned about him taking this ongoing, but the physcial consequences of constipation are much more worrying for me.
He has gone every day for the last 3 days that I have been giving him the medicine, but he still trys to hold on off going, and getting tummy pains again tody.
I feel so bad for him and am just hoping this passes soon (no pun intended!).
I just keep asking him, when he does poo in his undies, "where do you do poos?". He does know and I show him when I put it in the toilet.
All he knows is poo's are associated with pain, so why poo? I get that, but how do you try to make him understand that if he does poo every day, then he won't have a sore tummy etc.

sjp

Hi
I know exactly how u feel, and while my dd didnt get constipated, she would scream if i made her sit on the toilet. In the end i just gave in, put the nappy on and let her go. Last week i made her stay in the bathroom to do it (as opposed to my Walk in robe!) which she didnt like, but that was too bad. On saturday, she finally did one in the toilet. She kept saying that when Bob the builder and Thomas the tank engine comes to our house she would do it. She got Bob for her birthday the day b4, and i suggested that maybe she should poo on the loo. She said she'd give it a go... Low and behold, the kid did a poop!

She got rewarded with a Thomas trainset (a bargin at $10, well worth it!) that i'd been trying to bribe her with (bribery doesnt work too well on her)

My advice is to let them do wat they're comfortable with. They will eventually get there (its taken us 3mths) and forcing the issue doesnt work. Some kids just need a bit more time to do it. Ignore wat the inlaws and others say, u do wat is right for your child. Keep strong. It will happen eventually!!

We are having similiar issues with our 3 1/2 year old boy. Does wee's standing at the toilet and no day nappy for sleeps.
He will not do poo's on the toilet. He holds off going for up to 4 days when he then complains of a sore belly, sore bottom and you know it's bad when he just wants to lay down. He gets very lethargic about this time. He will eventually poo in his undies.
I finally resorted to getting some parachoc from the chemist, which provides lubrication of the bowel and softens the poo's. Apparently it's not a laxative as it doesn't make them go, its just bascially liquid glycerine.
I am concerned about him taking this ongoing, but the physcial consequences of constipation are much more worrying for me.
He has gone every day for the last 3 days that I have been giving him the medicine, but he still trys to hold on off going, and getting tummy pains again tody.
I feel so bad for him and am just hoping this passes soon (no pun intended!).
I just keep asking him, when he does poo in his undies, "where do you do poos?". He does know and I show him when I put it in the toilet.
All he knows is poo's are associated with pain, so why poo? I get that, but how do you try to make him understand that if he does poo every day, then he won't have a sore tummy etc.



I mentioned it earlier but I "fixed" the sitting on the toilet for poop issue by getting a Lupi Lu. It is an adult toilet seat, toddler seat and lid in one. I had great discussions with my almost 4 yo when he stopped even attempting to sit for poo and he hated the seat because he could fall in, he hated any baby seats because he knew they were not attached and could move, pinch etc. Once I got this out of him I showed him Lupi Lu online and we talked about whether he would like this special seat. I also explained it was very expensive so if I got it he would have to use it. He agreed.

I swear - MAGIC. We have not had a problem since. He yells for a bottom wipe and thats the first we know of him on the loo. All toddler visitors get shown it and seem to go for it also.

Best $89 I've spent in ages. Maybe it could be the solution for some of you. Worth a try I say. Also no cleaning and storing of toddle loo seats in my tiny loo!
My DS1 went through this. He would wee in the toilet without a problem but refused to poo. I didn't force the issue as he has a history of constipation, so I just kept asking him to try to poo in the toilet and then putting him in a nappy after lunch. I found that after a while (maybe a couple of months), he stopped pooing in the nappy each day. It was the first sign that he no longer wanted dirty pants, but it did result in constipation again as he was back to witholding. I gave him regular parachoc and kept offering him a nappy, while at the same time asking him to do a poo in the toilet when I knew he needed to go. Lo and behold, one day he did! I made a huge fuss, and sang him a poo song - which he still asks for now lol. We haven't looked back.

I also have a combined toddler/adult toilet seat. DS hated the insert seats because they move. I did try one of those ladder constructs with a seat, but he didn't like it much.
Some have been mentioning a Lipu Lu toilet seat?
Don't pay $89. We have the same thing - its called family toilet seat from bunnings (normal toilet seat and small toilet seat and lid in one) and they are about $5o.
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