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  5. Excluded from kindy for not being perfectly TT???

Excluded from kindy for not being perfectly TT??? Rss

Hi everyone

This is probably going to be a long one!! sorry! smile

Has anyone ever heard of a kindy excluding a child because they were not perfectly TT?

My daughter turned 3 in Dec last year and started kindy late January. Before starting, I was asked to sign a form which said she was toilet trained. I signed it because she was in undies all day (still nappies at night) and 95% of the time she was fine. Only accidents seemed to be when she was preoccupied with TV and couldn't tear herself away! Or it is a good sign she is sick.

On Friday I got a call at work to say she had pooed her pants and refused to wipe her bottom. The admin lady said that she clearly was not TT and that because they were a kindy (as opposed to a child care centre) they did not have the facilities to teach TT. She also advised me that my daughter had small accidents every other day since she started. Based on this, I was told she would be excluded from the kindy until she was properly trained.

I will admit when she has a poo accident at home, I wipe her bum - usually it is quite spread around and I wouldn't think she would be able to clean it herself. But if she makes the toilet, she is fine to wipe.

I asked the lady to give me until Weds pm to work with her and get things back on track and haven't had a problem all weekend.

When I got home on Friday night, she had a slight fever (kindy didn't pick up on this!) and my husband said she had pooed herself twice since coming home. Clearly a sign that maybe all of this wasn't her fault.

Anyway my real question after all this, is that does anyone think this is fair? The kindy's exclusion policy states they will try all avenues before excluding a child for any reason, and there is no definition of what they mean by toile trained in relation to their form. The lady told me it was a workplace health and safety thing which I find very difficult to believe...

If my daughter didn't love going there so much, I would have told them to get lost, but her happiness has to come first smile

Any thoughts/suggestions most welcomed

I think that is terrible and have never heard such a thing. Surely at three she is not the old child still having accidents. my DD is only 2 and a half but irt far from TT. I would see if there is anyone else you could speak to about clarifying their policies as i think that by them being vague they may well be just leaving it open to their descretion instead of having to put in some effort occasionally. i feel for you and your DD and hope all works out well. Good luck

I would imagine that their seeing it as a health and safety thing is because of all the nasty bugs spread by fecal matter and not washing your hands properly after going to the loo.

I have heard about exclusion policies because of the health and safety issue. Kids spread germs around so easily just by not washing their hands after toileting so imagine if they have wet or pooed themselves....I do actually think its fair for these reasons.

She is still very young and it is common for them to have accidents hence why they ask in the first place about fully TTd. And they are still getting the hang of holding.

Is your DD too shy to ask to go to the toilet. This can be quite daunting for them. Having to ask the teachers permission etc. I had issue with my DD holding allday as she was too timid to ask the teacher to go. I told her teacher this and she had a quiet word with her to let her know that if she was uncomfortable asking she could just go.
I think it is absolutely disgusting for them to exclude her, and I would be soooo angry, I don't think I could take her back even if she did love it. I was doing reading with my daughters grade 2 class last year, and one of the girls was so busy reading she wet herself. It was no big deal, I told the teacher who cleaned it up and I took her to the office for a spare uniform. If a seven year old can have an accident, what hope does a 3 yr old have.

If you really want her to continue going to the kindy, is it possible for her to wear pull-ups or similar in case of an accident.

If she had been wetting herself every second day, they should have spoken to you about their policy earlier, so that you could work together on this.

Sorry, I don't really have any suggestions, but they don't sound very caring, and if it was my child, I would want her in a caring nurturing environment, not one where they say that if you don't meet their exact specifications, you are out.

Good luck

I know that in the literature the councils hand out about "knowing if your child is ready for Kinder" they do say that the child needs to be toilet trained. However, in an age of 3 year old kindergarten, this is a high expectation, as alot of 3 year olds I know aren't fully toilet trained.

My 3 year old started this year in a 4 year old deferred program, he only just learnt to wipe his own bottom last night (still doesn't get the whole 'wipe once then throw' technique). It's funny, before you become a parent, you'd never imagine feeling so proud of your child for wiping his own bottom, but I am.

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