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How to cope with unwelcome comments Rss

Hi there all,

I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with my first child.

I am 22 yo and working in retail (with a lot of grown women)

My problem is, daily my body and its changes seems to be the hot topic. A very common comment i am receiving is "my, your breast are huge", "your boobs are so big, they must be so uncomfortable". etc

Another focal point in conversation is the fact that I am 22 yo, pregnant and not married.
I constantly feel judged by these women who ask "are you going to get married before the baby comes", "most women like to be married before they bring a baby into their lives".

I am at the point now where i am tired of laughing it off because it just plain hurts.

The worst thing is nothing is off limits for these women to ask or comment on. I dread going to work each morning as I have no idea whats going to be said next.

Has anyone else experienced this in their workplace? How did you overcome it or resolve the issue?

what are comments work colleague's have said?
So far ive got comments to my face or behind my back about my bump how big it is one day and lack of the next, size of my backside, moodiness, my appearance, marriage, birth plans, etc.

Thanks guys
Mum Of 3 Cuties wrote:

As for the moodiness if they comment on that to your face tell them it is a reflection of how they make you feel when they say some of the stupid things they are saying wink



smile That is tops. I would totally use that line word for word. The look on their faces would be priceless. smile
That is just awful I can't believe you are getting those comments! And from women too sad I'm so sorry kell_maree when it should be a wonderful and exciting time for you. Imagine if you went into work and commented to them 'gee your arse is enormous!' It's like being pregnant is a license for impropriety. It's just downright rude.

I was 24 and unmarried with my first. I'm now 36 and unmarried with another baby. I haven't had comments at work but I work in government and if anyone said that stuff I think it would be harassment! I imagine in your work you might not have those sort of policies in place to protect staff.

I'm not good with advice but what MO3C has said is good. I don't know if you could come back to their comments with 'I am very happy to be pregnant and your comments are unhelpful.' I'm not sure if that would work. Stay strong, these thoughtless inconsiderate and judgemental women must have some serious issues!
You should get in contact with your head office or HR manager as none of it is appropriate. Just the fact that you don't want to got to work each day says it all. I think people in general are so insensitive when it comes to remarks to a pregnant lady, especially when they are self conscious to an extent anyway. Try not to let it get you down, its a special time in your life so enjoy every second of it. Who cares if your not married, how does it affect them?
I would honestly take it all with a grain of salt. Its rude & none of their business. Just plain ignore it & get on with your day. If you do have to reply keep it simple & then get on with your day. You are there to work not be the subject of inconsiderate older women.




*Mimsy wrote:
My angle (which probably won't be the right way to handle things but, hey) would be to get to work in the morning and before anyone has a chance to say anything to you say 'nope, didn't get married, boobs still massive, ass looks fine thanks, I think my bump is bigger and my terrible pregnancy hormones mean that none of this is open for discussion' smile sweetly and then mosey off to do your job.

Unfortunately, you can't stop people from talking behind your back, but you can let people know you aren't taking their crap anymore. Who cares if they think it's just more hormones or whatever. Jokes on them. You are going to have a BABY. What's cooler than that?!

Congratulations.


Love it! Congratulations Kell smile
Everyone loves to comment on the pregnant woman... if it's not your breasts, it's how big or small your bump is, how much weight you've gained, how your carrying etc etc. Then the focus after the baby is how quickly you get back into your pre pregnancy jeans. It gets old...

I must say though, you kind of get a thick skin to it all eventually. Mothers are the most criticized (and equally critical) species on earth!

You can always say to your colleagues that you don't appreciate the comments... they are probably spineless and would back down fairly quickly. Otherwise you can ignore it with a smile and a nod

All the best for a healthy pregnancy!




Follow my blog "Bed Rest for Baby" at http://www.babysteps1804.wordpress.com

Thanks ladies for the advice,
Will be using some of these lines come Monday morning! MO3C really love that comment hopefully i can remember next time!
I forgot to mention in my post that my manager( 40yo) is trying to conceive herself and has been having much difficulties for the past few years. My news probably hasn't been the easiest to hear for her, but the fact that she also joins in on these conversations is really disheartening.

I didnt know not being married and expecting in 2014 was such blasphemy...
Just because my baby will be born to a mother and father who do not have the same name does not mean that they are any less loved.

My baby was such a welcomed miracle, much to the shock of my co-workers who's immediate response was "are you happy?"

p.s new to huggies and really loving the support of other mums!

thanks ladies
firstly congrats.

i know what you mean smile only those ladies at your work would really have at me!

i am currently 23 (24 this month!) and 21 week pregnant with my 4th baby we had our first when i was 18 oh and should i add we are STILL UNMARRIED haha. same DP though we have been together for nearly 7 years.but you should see the look on peoples faces when they find out it is not my 1st 2nd or 3rd child.

anyway we both work at our local RSL (he is in the kitchen, i am in gaming/bar)

i get SOOO many inappropriate comments and remarks like
"wow your belly is now bigger than your boobs" (i am a 16 DD)
"you have that pregnancy glow but look at those breakouts"
i get comments on the proportions of my belly boobs and butt.
i get humiliated for working while pregnant with 3 kids as if i am a crack whore who is not trying to do the best for my kids.. mind you i don't go out EVER or smoke, drink or take drugs!

that is just off the top of my mind.. i get it all the time.. but i just smile sweetly and sometime have a witty comeback..

people really must think that just because a woman is pregnant it gives everyone the right to question their motives and or appearance. like my all time favorite question: "was it planned" REALLY!? how insensitive!

anyway, be proud of your changing body, it is growing a miracle that many crave, you are very blessed and i reckon those "grown laddies" are jealous (no disrespect to older mums TTC!)
x

Mum of 3 girls, 1 boy, 1 angel, 1 on the way!

Kell_maree wrote:
Thanks ladies for the advice,
Will be using some of these lines come Monday morning! MO3C really love that comment hopefully i can remember next time!
I forgot to mention in my post that my manager( 40yo) is trying to conceive herself and has been having much difficulties for the past few years. My news probably hasn't been the easiest to hear for her, but the fact that she also joins in on these conversations is really disheartening.

I didnt know not being married and expecting in 2014 was such blasphemy...
Just because my baby will be born to a mother and father who do not have the same name does not mean that they are any less loved.

My baby was such a welcomed miracle, much to the shock of my co-workers who's immediate response was "are you happy?"

p.s new to huggies and really loving the support of other mums!

thanks ladies


just seen this after i posted.

I can not believe your manager is in that situation and apart of the comments! i couldn't agree more with you on the marriage thoughts and WELCOME to huggies smile

Mum of 3 girls, 1 boy, 1 angel, 1 on the way!

Kell_maree wrote:
Hi there all,

I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with my first child.

I am 22 yo and working in retail (with a lot of grown women)

My problem is, daily my body and its changes seems to be the hot topic. A very common comment i am receiving is "my, your breast are huge", "your boobs are so big, they must be so uncomfortable". etc

Another focal point in conversation is the fact that I am 22 yo, pregnant and not married.
I constantly feel judged by these women who ask "are you going to get married before the baby comes", "most women like to be married before they bring a baby into their lives".

I am at the point now where i am tired of laughing it off because it just plain hurts.

The worst thing is nothing is off limits for these women to ask or comment on. I dread going to work each morning as I have no idea whats going to be said next.

Has anyone else experienced this in their workplace? How did you overcome it or resolve the issue?

what are comments work colleague's have said?
So far ive got comments to my face or behind my back about my bump how big it is one day and lack of the next, size of my backside, moodiness, my appearance, marriage, birth plans, etc.

Thanks guys


I can't believe I have just read this sad

How on earth do people think that their disgusting comments are even remotely helpful?
In a workplace, you're protected by workplace rights, go and speak to the store manager, in particular pointing out that your line manager is treating you this way as well.

If someone told me those things, I would look them over and find something wrong with them and point that out to them. This kind of thing infuriates me to no end.

I do hope you're able to find something that works to say to them or your store manager because that's just not on!
Oh by the way, I'm pregnant with number 3 and oh no! We aren't married either! Must mean we can't possibly love our kids lol



Kell_maree wrote:

Another focal point in conversation is the fact that I am 22 yo, pregnant and not married.
I constantly feel judged by these women who ask "are you going to get married before the baby comes", "most women like to be married before they bring a baby into their lives".


Statistically more women in Australia are unmarried having kids than married actually! Id say something like "really, I didnt know you spoke for most women? '
they sound like they are jealous and have no manners sad Good luck with your pregnancy and try to ignore them
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