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Please help I don't know what to do? Rss

Hey Ladies,

This is a sensitive topic, so I don't want anyone to be offended o.k?.

Hubby and I had our ds nealy 9 months ago, his lovely and we adore him..he was planned. I had an exceptionally bad birth in which I nealy had a hysterrectomy and lost 2 litres of blood and had to have a transfusion it took me like 6 months to recover. I also suffered very bad post-natal depression and am on anti-depressants for it, Have been feeling great for months tho smile.
Recently I discovered I'm pregnant. Initialy I was happy and hubby is excited. But now I'm unsure I'm only 6 weeks and feel completly over-whelmed and stressed, ds is soo little and will only be 16 months when baby arrives. I'm extremly worried about coping and having depression recurring. When I had ds I was advised to wait 2 years before having another. I feel not ready...like I was just pregnant and ds is at a good age where we can start getting out and about...Again I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I don't need abuse please just advice. I've told hubby how I feel and he sais its up to me. I just don't know
sorry to hear the birth of your ds was so traumatic.

i think a trip to the doctor and a counsellor would be good.

just to help you understand your feelings and to help deal with them.

is the doctor happy for you to continue this pregnancy.

im not much help i know. hope things will be ok
hey sweet pea

I would say that this is a reall yhard position to be in i say you should do on a piece of paper with your hubby write up the positive an dnegatives of going tru with it and not going tru with it feeling and every thing and i thimk you will find your answer!!!

hope this helps

firstly what ever you feel is right for you is the right decision and dont feel bad for what ever you do decide ...

now that being said... you have a bit of knowledge on your side this time, you have been thru the worst, you have suffered and you have come out the other side of all that and you have found your feet and are coping... talk to your doc and theropist if you have one they have a lot of things you can use to help you cope with the anxiety and depression and fear you will be feeling and lean on your hubby he im sure understands the fear you are feeling and the depression also
talk to them all before making your decision you might find they have some new things you can do to cope

Hi, sorry to hear you had a bad experience with your first birth... The Dr told me as well after i had my 2nd that i should wait as i lost over 1ltre after birth..took a yr on iron tablets... Anywayz... DS#2 was 2.5yrs when i gave birth to DS#3... And i had no extra blood loss..

You and your DH, should really see your Docter and talk to a counsellor..
As the decision you choose either way will effect you for life..
I think maybe you need to go get some medical help, talk it over with people.

I have never actually had depression so can't talk first hand - but does it go over time? Long after the depression has gone you may regret the decision to not have this baby?

I really hope you are able to make the right decision for your family - but I think you should go talk to someone.

How time flies!!

sorry to read that your having a rough time at the moment.

Just remember you have 8 months to get use to the idea of having another little baby, each day you will like the idea more and more. Talk to other mothers with children close in age and gets some tips and an ideas on what it will be like. It's not as hard as you think ( I have a 17month gap between my 2nd and 3rd child), and it can actually be alot of fun - especially when you see them play together.

I'd also suggest you talk to your DR about the upcoming birth, try to get over the fear of another traumatic delivery, there will be steps your OB will take to try and avoid the same scenario as last time, and maybe talking to a councellor about pnd.

Good luck, I wish you all the best xoxox

Thanks Guys,

I haven't had any depression for 6-7 months so that is fine.
My doctor and OB are happy for me to have bub, ds was an emergency c-section. So this time will be a c-section. I have an atonic uterus which means it is soft and floppy and fails to contract properly after the placenta is taken out, resulting in endless bleeding. I'm excited I've already bought a cradle as i have a feeling this one is a girl. Thanks for all your advice, I think I'm just nervous and that its normal. I feel like the baby is already a part of me with a heartbeat and all and I just couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to him or her...I guess I have my answer...Did any of you feel nervous? do you think its normal?
Nervous is normal. I still refuse to acknowledge that this baby has to come out at the end! (Obviously I know it does, but I can't handle the thought of how it's going to happen).

The benefit you have this time around is that your OB is aware of your complications - so will be better prepared to deal with it all. With a planned Csection you have the benefit of removing some of the anxiety-inducing 'when will it happen? How will it happen?' type questions.

Make sure you communicate with your OB & your partner about how you are feeling, no matter how silly you might think your thoughts are. Their jobs in all of this are to support you, and they can only do that if they know what it is you need.

Congratulations and I hope you are able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy (as much as is possible when you're carrying around that extra watermelon anyway!!!).
I am pleased to hear you are starting to get excited. everyone dreads labour - natural or c-section.

But as Linda just said - the drs are away of your condition and will be prepared for it.

Good luck and I hope you stay on huggies so we can be excited with you every step of the way. We love baby news!!

How time flies!!

Like LA said its ok to be nervous.. i think the ladies who have had 2 plus babies still prolly feel nervous each time, and again like LA said your doc knows all about last time and will be prepared to do everything he can to avoid it and minimise your stress... so make sure you keep talking to ya doc, midwife and hubby tell them all the things your worried about no matter how silly they might sound

If you are interested in some background reading there are some interesting articles in the Al l About Mum area of our site.

Best wishes to you and your family <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span>]
[Edited on 27/05/2008]
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