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  5. 20 week scan ....did you go alone?

20 week scan ....did you go alone? Rss

Hi ladies,
This is probley a vent more than a question. I have my scan today it is my 4th baby. i have had it booked for over a month, I am more excited about this one than any other as it is my last. And i am 36yo so a little worried about everything as i lost my last pregnancy.

My hubby came home last night and told me he has to travel away for work tomorrow (day of scan). I think he forgot about the scan but won't try and get out of it. I am so upset and feel abandoned, i have never had a 20 week scan without daddy. I didn't want to make a big deal so i never really said much but i can't stop crying at the drop of a hat. I don't even have a close friend that i can ask. I have no family around all in WA. I asked my 11yo son but he's not too interested. I am prob just being a sook.
Sorry girls.

Amanda Qld

You poor thing having nobody around!!! Nah i don't think you being a sook that is what partners are for, to support us especially at times like these as they are both exciting and scary..

DH came to DS scan...but not this was the last friday before xmas (I booked it then figuring he would finish work early)

Well he decided he would rather go to the pub! SO DS and I went ot he scan! I'm over it now, but was pretty pissed then....however if work was the reason he didn't make it I would have understood.
i am sorry you have to do it on your own, but everything will be fine. just remember that he will be there for the most important part....the birth....maybe make a day of it, go to the scan, take yourself to lunch and a movie and maybe a massage

hope ive helped


I went to this 20 week scan by myself, my DH came to the first scan and all scan for our DD.

I wasn't too annoyed about it. He couldn't get out of work, and so I went by myself and found out the sex of bubs.

When I got home I wrapped three singlets which would tell him what we are having... The first two where neutral colours and the last he unwrapped was blue.. He was so excited and it was good fun for us... So it doesn't have to be all bad.

With that being said, I am a big believer in speaking up and telling him you want him there. I learnt there is no point not saying it and only bringing it up when it is too late for him to do something about it.

Your not being a sook though... I think you should let him know how important it is too you so he can still try to make a change...
DH is a truck driver, he has never been to 20wks scans, he comes to the 12 wks ones and thats it , sometimes I will see if MIL or mum want to have a look but it doesn;t fuss me going on my own
aww you're not being a sook at all .. it's perfectly normal to feel abandoned and not want to feel that way.
When I was pregnant with DD her father left me for another woman and took no interest in my pregnancy so good old mum came with me to EVERYTHING with my daughter and was there when she was born.
This time the babys dad is around and he's coming to the scan with his mother (its nice they get to share it) and my mums away on holidays. I had a teary last night on the phone to her because I really want her to be with me hahahaha.

My way of thinking was as much as I want her to be with me it's so much more important for her to be there when baby is born. So maybe keep that in mind with you DH.
Hey there

My DH is a slacker - he works for himself but still tells me he cant get out of work. He comes to most scans, but didnt come to an early one this time. He also shows no interest in coming to any OB appointments, and that really psses me off, because I want him to meet the OB some time prior to the day I'm in labour!

You're not being a sook - dont worry. I have been sooking and crying lately just because I may have gestational diabetes again, and its really no big deal - just stupid pregnancy hormones!

I agree with Supa Dupa Mum - you should make a day of it, treat yourself and go and spend some of DH's money on yourself and/or bub to make yourself feel better - this works for me!

Thanks girls for making me feel better. I just got home from my scan. It was not as bad as i thought. Plus i was really lucky they had a student and went through everything i was in there for a whole hour. (which was good except for the bladder thing lol)I will just see if hubby will get time off for the ob appoint next week. But i spose that won't matter as long as he is there for the finish. He better be!!

He is very appologetic and i know he forgot as he was going to met me at the wrong hosptial if he could make it. What can i say MEN!!!!!!!!!!! lol

Amanda Qld


My hubby came with me for both of my 20 week scans.

You are not being a sook. Don't think that for one minute. I would be peeved too....big time!

It would have been funny if he turned up at the wrong hospital hehehe

Men have no idea sometimes!!!! smile

All the very best with your pregnancy.

Proud Mummy

DH came to DD's scan because we were part of a study and he had to get some tests done too. but nah, he didn't come with this one, and it didn't really bother me but i knew he wasn't coming long b4 the actual scan - unlike yourself. plus, we have our own business, so he really had to go (im a mean boss aren't i) he is also only having the day of my c-sect off, and thats it!
i can completely understand where your coming from my partner works away to the point he was away for all of my pregnancy!!!! he actually came back for the 20 week scan (by this time we had separated n gone our own ways)however i didnt se him again till 6 weeks before our daughter was due....
he still works away but i have to realise that he is working away to earn more money for us considering we have another little one on the way....

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