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The sex of my baby ? Rss

Hi, from the start of my pregnancy ive wanted to wait until the babies born to find out the sex of the baby but within the last month or so i suppose ive changed my mind and i want to know what it is? I feel it'll make me feel more closer or something to the baby, being able to call him or her by name and not "it" haha.

anyways, my partner was the one at the begginning who wanted to find out but i changed his mind somehow? and now he won't let me find out, haha, i just feel im entitled to it, seeing as im the one who puts in all the hard work, and he doesn't really have to do anything? i said to him, if you don't wanna know so you can have a surprise thats absolutely fine by me but he keeps saying "just think of how much it will be a surprise to when it's born and we find out then" and i just think, that'll be awesome but im just waaaay to impatient and its a different need for me as its mother who carries it around all day with me and it will kill me knowing i can find out but aren't allowed haha.

please someone must have some advise? i only have 2 days left to convince him! unsure
LOL I'm in the same boat as you hun. I didn't want to find out at first in a way but now I do. Once you get to that 20wk scan I sooo wanted to find out but said NO can you put it in an envelope please. So when I got home and DH watched it I turned around with the envelope hoping he would say yes but it was a NOOOO. It is sitting on the fridge and I still haven't sneaked a look. I think it's a boy though. I tried everything to convince him : selling clothes on ebay, picking names and doing the nursery in appropriate colours. NO no no he said to all laughing. Grrr. I tried to find reassurance in the Chinese calender and it said boy and it was right the first time with DD. I have heard alot of people say it's correct. Who knows.

I haven't found out for any of my pregnancies! blink

The surprise at the end is well worth the wait wink I loved waiting until the end to know, it drove everybody nuts laugh laugh I really wanted to know last time around, but DH did not, so I just went along with his wishes. I'm not so sure I'm going to be so cooperative this time roll eyes

Waiting would have killed me! I was determined to have that surprise with number 2 and 3 but got to the day and just had to know, and for the same reason you mentioned.
It is definitely easier to bond once you can imagine that little girl, or little boy in there, also then you can ditch one list of names!
There is no reason why you can't find out yourself and not tell him? Have a quiet word to the sonographer and tell them to put the sex of bub in the report to your doc, so your doc can tell you?
Or else just tell him how important it is to you, and he does not have to find out if he does not want to smile

just a thought but maybe he thinks if you were so definite about it early on you might end up regretting knowing? he possibly just wants you to be happy about it.
besides i think this should be an equal decision. just because you carry bub around and 'do the hard stuff' doesn't actually make him get less of a say in things.

as a side note we didn't find out and won't with this one and the surprise is awesome, but i get why some people want to know.
aw so your husband knows and not you? i don't think i could handle having it in an envelope on the fridge. i couldn't trust myself not to look if my life depended on it haha tongue

aw so your husband knows and not you? i don't think i could handle having it in an envelope on the fridge. i couldn't trust myself not to look if my life depended on it haha tongue

lol noo he doesn't know and either do I. It's really killing me though. I can relate to you with connection comment. But then on the other hand when his sister in-law found out we thought we didn't want to find out when it happens to us. It felt like that everything was planned and no surprise, like the name, the sex and it's like as if the whole world was sorted for this baby. We just agreed then not to find out. When you think about it. If you let everyone else know it's a big excitement at first and then some are let down in the way if it's not a male. If they are counting on you to keep up the surname in which was our case. But then people leave the name a surprise so there is still some mystery.


just a thought but maybe he thinks if you were so definite about it early on you might end up regretting knowing? he possibly just wants you to be happy about it.
besides i think this should be an equal decision. just because you carry bub around and 'do the hard stuff' doesn't actually make him get less of a say in things.

as a side note we didn't find out and won't with this one and the surprise is awesome, but i get why some people want to know.


I completely agree with this, he did change his mind for you at the start, why not change yours for him too?

We also haven't found out the sex both times & I wouldn't change it-the suprise at the end is like nothing else smile

oh okay. i wasn't sure if he knew and not you? I was gunna say... thats abit mean of him being so cheeky tongue hahaha

how does this chinese calendar thingy work? i have to do it ASAP! haha if the boyfriend won't let me find out, then im going to do every other test there is to find out without an ultrasound tongue

oh okay. i wasn't sure if he knew and not you? I was gunna say... thats abit mean of him being so cheeky tongue hahaha

how does this chinese calendar thingy work? i have to do it ASAP! haha if the boyfriend won't let me find out, then im going to do every other test there is to find out without an ultrasound tongue


In your search bar just type in Chinese pregnancy calendar. Do more then one I found most of them said boy for me. Just have to put in what month conceive and your age. I've heard that alot of people say it's true.

I've had surprises both times and I promise it is so nice that after bub is born to find out what it is then. I have had no trouble bonding with my babies either, I loved them while i was pregnant and talked to them all the time..... sometimes i think ppl use that excuse to justify finding out. From experiences with friends who find out you end up knowing the sex, name and the personality they have already created for the baby so when it's born it's exciting but you already know what it is etc. My friend is having her first bub tomorrow and is one of the few to have a surprise and im so excited for her because we will finally find out what it is!

Plus you want a reward/surprise after the pain of having a baby! smile
Hi, I'm 24 wks with my 3rd baby and we didn't find out at our 20 wk scan - really you ONLY have to wait the 20 minutes or so while you are in a scan then (unless you get them to write it down) you can't find out again anyway...
I just thought I'd share my little story though - we didn't find out with DS, I was 110% CONVINCED I was having a girl so when HE came out I was like, 'you were meant to be a girl!' I spent the first 5 days just looking at HIM and wondering how on earth I could have made THAT (iykwim LOL)! Once I got over that I was fine and of course totally besotted, but I had always wanted a girl first then a boy then whatever came and that had instantly dashed ALL of my hopes and dreams.
Then with #2 I realised boys weren't so bad (not that I ever thought they were or that I didn't want one, I just didn't want one first!) and also thought I would never be lucky enough to have a girl (my MIL had 3 boys always only wanting a girl!) we still didn't find out but I was content with whatever I got - it was still a total blessing. Imagine my surprise and elation when DD popped out and my husband said - we got a Ruby! It couldn't have been more perfect...
So now for #3, we didn't find out at the 20wk scan but my ob scans every time we go, so last week DH said "right thats it, we're finding out next time so we can be done with the names thing and get the clothes sorted" (we have both stored away so now we can get organised and get rid of the rest!). When I was there I asked him to write it down and put it in an envelope for when DH was with me (so it was still OUR special surprise!) and the plan was not to tell a soul (especially not the kids cos they'll blab most!!) Well, I have to say the feeling I got when we read it was a little bit of a bittersweet one, there goes the 16 more weeks of wonderment and dreams and utter surprise after labour, but in another way I am very glad I found out simply because I was beginning to believe it was the OTHER sex and all of my thoughts were beginning to go down the same road as with DS so at least now I have time to be prepared and I am ALREADY excited to meet this little one! I did have to lie the other night though when a friend asked if I knew what we were having and I'm not good at that (it wasn't so bad because I could say that we tried but its legs were up which was true to a point, but then the top leg moved and we saw but I found it very hard to lie and didn't really like it!)
So, I've done it both ways now (can't totally say til this one comes out but...)I think if I had the option I would wait til it comes out UNLESS you are totally wanting one over the other (I wish I'd found out with DS but not the others just to avoid the initial disappointment!) but it can only be your decision so good luck with that one! Just remember you can't take it back once you know so be 100% sure you want to know!

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