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Advice/opinions please? Rss

Hello all, just wanting some advice, tips or opinions.
My husband and I both really want to have children, but we haven't got any money behind us and are living in Australia to earn some money before we start TTC. We both would love to build our own home when we get back to NZ and start making babies. But this seems to be so far away and I can't stop thinking about pregnancy and babies. My husband feels we should wait 2 years maybe 3. I don't think I can wait that long. I would love to start trying now but I know we should probably wait at least a year to get some money behind us. I just don't know what we should do?
Hi Darl, i'd wait a year, get yourselves set up more and then sit down and have a good talk about it. Put the pros and cons up. Sounds very business like, but it's better if both parties agree to try rather than one pushing and the other giving in, as they may resent it later on.. smile Good Luck
My DP was the same. He didn't want to have kids until we were financially stable. However one night of too much drinking and DD was conceived. We had a double income for a few months but I was forced to quit my job so we went down to one income, over half of which went to rent every week.
We're still renting and have #2 on the way. Our only hope of financial stability is if DP can get into the Army like he wants, but even then it'll be several years before we could afford to buy a house. I wanted #2, he didn't but we compromised. Getting Centrelink benefits has helped. If you're planning on working through your pregnancy then why not start trying now? Who says that in the future you'll both be happy enough with where you are financially to start then?
You say you should probably wait another year before trying? Why not start in a few months? A pregnancy is 9 months so, give or take when you fall pregnant, there's your year to get money behind you and your closer to your goal of having a child sooner rather then later. (That's the sort of argument I'd use if it were me)

Lots of people end up having kids without financial security. We all survive. We compromise, cut back here and there, budget til we think we can't save any more and we reach our goals. Mine was a car to make getting us everywhere easier. Yours is a house to raise your children in. A goal that is achievable no matter when you have kids.

I suggest sitting down with your DH and having a chat about whether you can afford to have a child now and if it will have a negative impact on your house dreams. Chances are, with a lot of hard work, it won't. But still, it's best to talk to him about it.

I agree with PP, and I also understand the burning desire to have a bub, it's hits hard and it's hard to just make it disappear.

BUT, as much as it sucks, money has to be considered. Bubs cost a lot, so can pregnancy. I'm sure you'd rather bring a bub into the world knowing you can comfortably afford to, rather than struggle. Bringing up a bub is hard enough without worrying about money too.

Talk it out with DH. Maybe you can come to a compromise.
Thanks for your comments.
Yea I think I'll try to wait till the end of the year to decide. Its just so hard when it is always on your mind. And I also worry about whether or not we are fertile etc. I know I am probably just being paranoid but it worries me that if I wait too long it might make it harder to conceive. My Husband and I are both mid- 20s so I don't think I should be worrying about it but I still do. Generally how long does it usually take to conceive? I have heard it can take up to a year?
I dont think u can ever be really financially stable (unless u make lots of money!) so if u wait for that u will wait forever!
My DS was a surprise and we didnt have a cent in savings but we managed and now I also have DD... We are not well off but me make do we have a roof over our heads, food on the table and are very slowly saving.. we dont own a home yet but that will come in time. I love my family and wouldnt change how we did it I guess it just depends on what u want to do. to be honest I think babies arent that expensive it when they start school and kinder that u have to worry lol
Perhaps it is time to put everything on paper?

- have you set a dollar amount on what you consider to be financially secure? Is it achieveable within your specified timeframe?
- have you got a budget that you both stick to? Are you meeting your targets?
- for a baby, work out your budget using one income (and bank all of the other) and see how you go...this will give you an idea how it will be when bubs arrrives....I would do this for at least 3 months.

You will then be able to make a decision regarding finances...

Conception, well that is very individual....some conceive on the first go, others take a few months, others take longer than a year, and for some their option is IVF.

Which will you be? There is no way to tell, it is not always the older you get the harder it is either...
Hi there,
My son was a total suprise pregancy, we were renting at the time, I was at the start of a PhD and working part-time, we had bugger all cash.
But hey we made it work and both my husband and I agree this has been the happiest time of our lives. I've still managed to keep on with the PhD and am almost finished, it's just taken a long time! And we have a small house of our own now that DH has renovated himself, its small but it's really nice. We now have no.2 with use, she's 5 months old and we are living week to week but totally happy.
Unless you're independently wealthy and dont have to work I dont think there is ever a perfect time to have a child.
My children have fulfilled my life, they are my everything now and I'm so glad we had them when we did as I couldn't imagine my life without them.
I say go for it, conceiving can take time, and even when you conceive you have 9 months to sort stuff out. Hey we juggled finances, bought a house, renovated it, got married and had a honeymoon/babymoon in the 9 months before DS was born, it's amazing the motivation you have to get things done/work extra hours/save like mad when you know there's a baby coming!

I agree that no time is a good time financally to have a baby, you just have to bite the bullet and do it. In saying that you are young and have a lot of time ahead of you to have bubbas.

I have friends who waited and they have a beautiful 5brm house, rentals and are fairly secure and have no children to fill their house. They have been trying for a while now.

I met my DH when I was a single mum of 1 and we fell pregnant straight way. 7 years down the track we are married with 3 children-1 my own - and we own a beautiful 100yr old home. So it can be done, and for me it has been done with me working part time after my DH gets home from work or work like homebased childcare that I could do at home with my children.
My blog, take a peek into my world

We have decided to start trying between August and November this year. So not too long to wait now! Thanks for all your good advice!

We have decided to start trying between August and November this year. So not too long to wait now! Thanks for all your good advice!

seems like good incentive to save now!
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