Caesarians

No way are you being a bitch - it is your body and your baby. I have had two c-sections - people need to remember that it is major surgery, you will not exactly be looking or feeling your best. You will be flat on your back, catheter still in, no undies on and pads just put between your legs to catch the bleeding (sorry TMI).

My second one a year ago my mum and dad came in with DS which I had no problem with at all - I was done first thing in the morning and they came in the afternoon. Bubs pretty much went straight to Special Care so I was not going really great not being able to see him. MIL and brother-in-law said they were coming in as well - at the time I didn't want them to come in but I felt like I couldn't say no as my parents had been in. They arrived just after the midwives had got me up and into a wheel chair to take me down to Special Care as it was going to be too hard getting the bed down there (not easy after you have only had major surgery that morning). Bare in mind I still only had the theatre gown on - not a pretty sight but I just wanted to see my baby. So there I sat in Special Care - looking at my new baby for only the second time listening to my MIL carry on about her new glasses and whether they were straight or not. I was still really worried about bubs at that time - ended up only being fluid on his lungs which he took a few days to get over but still - how insensitive!

Really wish I had said what I thought and not let MIL and brother-in-law come up. Stick to your guns!

How selfish! your family need to get over themselves. trying to recover after abdominal surgery that most people get to sleep and relax, but when it's a c-section you need to rest AND look after a baby.
The attitude of your family has shocked me! My family wouldn't know what hit them if they said that! although i had dd under general anesthetic, my family came to visit 8 hours later (thank goodness for the compulsory rest period between 12 and 2pm otherwise they would have shown up within 3 hours) i don't remember much at all about the first day and therefore 15 people visited me and i have faint recollections.
They've got many years to get to know your baby, you just need a day to get your head and body around what has just happened, if you need to (like others have said) the nurses will be very firm with your request for no visitors, especially after a c-section.
Good Luck! like i said SHOCKED

Hmm I'll join the rest of pretty much everyone in saying that no you are not a bitch, in fact I'd be saying to come when you get a phone call saying you can becasue you might not feel like visitors the next day either!!! My SIL baby was born by emergency c sect so when her hubby rang to say that she'd had the bub, and what had happened i just told him to call us when she was ready for visitors. If your mum continues to make 'threats' about visiting when she isnt welcome just tell her you'll get someone else to babysit and you wont tell her the date at all!!! (she might get the idea then!). Or just mention inpassing that because you are abooked admisssion the c sect might not happen at the scheduled time if there are emergency cases, so not to worry if you dont recieve a call when u expect it!!! (then u dont need to phone till afta visiting hours!!!) Also make sure the receptioists at the front of the hospital know when u dont want visitors cause they are the ones who give out room numbers etc...
Incidently my DS2 was an IOL so my mum knew when he was being born, she babysat DS1, but so that we didnt have visitors til we were ready i didnt ring or sms anyone straight away, and then said that they could come after a certain time.

Posted by: queen bee
well i'm not going to say you're a beep, but i am probably the only person who thinks telling people to stay away is a terrible idea! it just seems to mean when everyone just wants to celebrate & meet this new little miracle you've just given birth to. i think it's fantastic that you have people in this world that love your new child so much that they can't wait to meet him/her. i really don't think having visitors or not helps or doesn't help with the bonding process. if anything, the new baby is being held tightly & snugly in someone's arms feeling nothing but love. anyway, that's just me. you do what obviously feels right for you. good luck!

I have asked for people to save visiting till the next day when I'm feeling more myself. It's one day, how is that mean? I want to bond with MY baby. No one else can breastfeed him but me, so while he's being 'held tightly & snugly in someones arms' I'm missing out.

When I had my first DS he was a ceasar I resented the fact that while I was down in recovery my family were all up in the room waiting for me having all these special cuddles before I had..It was me who carried him for 9 months and gave birth to him! So when I had my second caesar I asked for only my husband at the hospital then everyone could come up as soon as they wanted the next day..I felt much more relaxed coming out of recovery.My family understood which I guess made it alot easier for me.You are not being unreasonable at all this is your moment so do exactly what you want!

hi darl, I've got 3 boys all under 4 and all born via c-sections, so I understand especially when I had big problems first time round with feeding. I wish I had told people that I wasn't up for visitors that way I might have got the rest I so badly needed and just some 1 on 1 bonding time with me and bub without the extra hassle of having to entertain people while bubs slept and all I wanted to do was sleep as well. Its not easy after a c-section, or after a birth in general and I do think that everyone forgets about the mother cause they're all excited to see the new baby. Like heaps of the others have said, tell the midwives that your requesting 'NO VISTORS' at all until you personally tell them your ready to except them. It's your choice and your decision cause your the one that has to deal with it all not them. I really hope it all works out for you and that people understand your decision, they don't have to like it but hopefully they're mature enouph to except it without causeing you too much greif.

Good luck with everything including the birth.

You could tell everyone the time changed to the evening - most hospitals have 8pm as the 'closing time' so if you are in surgery then, they can't come.

my daughter was born naturally at 4.30, but I didn't tell people until just before 8 that night, simply because I just didn't want any visitors that night.

You are not being a b-tch at all. You need time firstly to bond with your little bundle and your other half, and also to recover. It is not an easy thing this whole giving birth business, whether naturally or by caesarean, so you put yourself and the bubs number 1!!!!!

Good luck smile

Hi I don't get on with any inlaws so i made sure i had no visitors (or would of if it had been my town) i ended up going 800k's away to have them anyways.. But no not having visitors is not being rude!! You don't feel very well after a C sec and i requested no visitors till day 2, you have catheter in and your on a drip etc.. Your feeling very very groggy and sore. You can tell the staff at the hospital that you don't want any visitors so if they all show up then they won't be allowed in anyways and i'm sure the staff will understand considering it was a C sec.
I found it hard breastfeeding after C sec and with the bonding so I think that is a great request you may even need an extra day before seeing people.. Don't rush yourself to please your family If you need more time to bond etc then Go for it
[Edited on 10/01/2009]

I was just going to say that my best friend had a baby by c-section a few years back ...when seh rang and told me Jake was born I asked if i was able to go up and see her and she said yes .....this was her first baby and she has said yes to everyone who had asked I think !! ...cause when I got up there the next arvo ...seh was groggy and stressed out that everyone could see her catherter bag (it was someting that really worried her so ) ..and she was concerned that someoene was going to kick out a tube or a wire she was connected to ...she was jumpy and just plain tierd ...so we stayed for a min and then left ..had I have known what she was going to be like I would have definatly stayed away ...it was not worth the stress I had caused to my friend !!

I am sure had no one been there the catherter bag and the tubes and stuff woudl not have fazzed her in the least ...but there were about 5 people in the room and this was her first son ...she wanted to get to know him for a while ...not have him passed from pilar to post ...

I say stick to it Sarah ....make sure it is clear that you dont know what your in for and you want to deal with it as a family ...not have ot worry if your flashing your undies or popping out boob in front of people !! ....you have every right !!

I've had 2 c sections and when we have another bub, it will also be a caesar.

I have to agree that having that 1st day for rest(LOL), and precious bonding time is really important. Breastfeeding can be so much harder after a c section and having bub passed around when they are so new can hinder that bond. Not to mention the privacy factor of havin your boobs out, everything leaking, pain everywhere, emotions everywhere, no sleep, etc etc.

I know next time, I'll definately be requesting no visitors till day 2. If your family/friends have any kind of compassion, there shouldn't be a problem.

Hi,
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I had an emergency caeser with my first and was in recovery so long that about 5 other people got to hold her before I even did. If I had of known better I would have asked that visitors come later so that we could have bonded as a family before she was passed around.

You could tell the hospital of your wishes and maybe ask the midwives just to let people know that you are not ready for visitors. I know that my hospital does this as they believe in the bonding of the family and quiet and rest for mum and bub. That way if people do turn up, they will just have to wait.

I am having another caeser this time around and we are not even telling people the date for which it will be booked. After I have had bubs and we have some bonding time, then everyone else will be told but will be asked to visit after some rest time for me.

Good luck, I hope everyone repects your wishes as it is your baby and your special time and they will get theirs when your ready.
[Edited on 10/01/2009]

Gling Gling, you do whatever feels right for you. It's your business, your body and your baby. Forget about the opinions of others regarding your decisions. Anyone who doesn't respect your wishes obviously has no respect for you and are completely self obsorbed.

Good luck with everything. Take care.
[Edited on 10/01/2009]