Your attitudes sound like mine was. I had to see a "specialist" because I wasn't connecting with my baby enough and lacked emotion. My first two children have been taken overseas against my will by a former partner. I didn't want to love my baby in case something went wrong. I didn't buy anything as I was superstitious. I prepared for birth without my new partner. I took a long time to tell him I was pregnant and wasn't planning on telling him at all unless he asked and when I went into labour I told him at the very last minute. I avoided moving in with my partner until after the birth of the baby too.
The specialist suggested some of the following to help connect to the baby:
Rub your belly, sing songs or speak to the unborn baby in your belly, go to active birthing classes, learn baby massage, touch, kiss, cuddle and smile to your baby when it's born. If you feel stupid you can rub your belly or speak to your baby in private.
Other things you can do are:
Go to a baby shop and pick out or just look at some cute clothing or furniture. Look at pictures of babies in magazines or on the internet. Go visit a friend with a baby and hold their baby or help them out. Take a tour of a maternity ward. Watch birthing and other videos about raising babies/children.
Hope that helps.