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Why do I feel like noone understands Why I am terr Lock Rss

Posted by: Sarah_****My point is...

You are more than happy for a bunch of complete strangers, to do whatever is necessary to save YOUR life, but when it comes to delivering a child, no strangers allowed, you know best and they should do what you tell them to do and everything they do to you is unnecessary intervention, forceful, sorry - did I read "birth rape?? and whatever other slander you ladies want to use.

I am only stating my opinion and am not speaking for anyone else. We are not a borg race with one master brain and we are all minions going out and saying the exact same thing.

I have taken a conscious, well educated decision to listen to and trust my body to do what women have been doing for thousands of years before doctors were even thought of. In conjunction with my midwife, who has had medical training, we work out a plan to, if possible, give me the birth I want. I never once told my midwife what to do, when I said I was considering having a home birth she said she thought it was a good idea and that she would support me in wherever I chose to have bubs. I never said to her "I am having a home birth and you will be there and not intervene unless I tell you to."

I had a hospital birth with DS1, surrounded by a bunch of "strangers" and no at the time I did not care, but then I had people who supported me. At the end, after pushing for an hour I got threatened with an episiotomy; now I don't think the midwife really would have done it if I had said no, but guess what it lit a fire under me and I pushed him out after about 2 minutes. Now would that episiotomy have been a necessary intervention? Who knows, but I didn't think it was.

I have never slandered any doctor, and I don't think anyone else has either. Have any of the women named names? If your definition of slander is telling someone what has happened to you and having someone else think they are "wrong" then there has been plenty of slandering going on from both "sides".

Doctors have their place, and not every woman who is pregnant and gives birth needs to be under the care of a doctor, me included.

[Edited on 18/02/2008 by Huggies Moderator]
[Edited on 18/02/2008 by Huggies Moderator]

Kandied Heart,

I completely agree with you, which is why I haven't "torn" into anyone even though I have felt like it at times. LOL Does this make me a horrible person? smile]

How are you feeling, any niggles yet? If I could sign you up for a trouble free birth I would, unfortunately there are no guarantees in life are there?

Like you I am an advocate for choice, not us all doing it the same way because it is "expected" of us. I see my birth as a normal biological event, not a disease that I need to go to hospital to get cured. I have been lucky that both my pregnancies have been straightforward and uneventful, but I am also aware that this is not the case for everyone and that some women are going to need medical care. However, I don't believe that the STANDARD of care should be a medical one for the majority of women. Why should I have an OB if my pregnancy has no complications?

I give seems on both sides some people can't see the "wood for the tress". Well I gotta run, my little man has just woken up and is screaming for his lunch. smile]

If I don't "see" you around before you have bubs, good luck and I hope you get the birth you want.


Well in my honest opinion there is a huge difference between a life saving type scenario or accident and the normal event of woman giving birth (obviously barring any med probs etc) In the words of a great birthing goddess smile - you don't go to the doctors when you need to pooh! LOL. Oh I have to stop now smile I am too funny - waves to watching crowd smile

Anwyway I back on track, I don't take my son when he has a cold to a throat specialist or when I stub my toe on the pavement I don't go rushing up to the hospital just in case I bleed to death yk? If complications that require medical attention need seeing to then when talking it over to my careprovider - whoever that may be (for me it was my hubby, IM & my doctor) and then take appropriate action.

Jamesmum you can lecture all day, I am reading through your entire posts nodding my head in agreeance - i am just not as good with words smile

Anyway I am off to playgroup.

Wear your baby out!!!


It may not be how you meant it, but that is how it reads. I am by no way offended by it, it is almost impossible to offend me.

If you haven't read them that is your choice, and I respect your right to just "skim" them.

Sarah F- I don't want to say it like this but. SINCE WHEN WAS A NORMAL HEALTHY PREGNANCY AN ILLNESS? My child is not a tumour I need removed, it is a beautiful gentle creature which has not been touched by the world- and as such a gentle quiet birth is a good thing for a child!
GOOD GOD EVEN DOGS AND OTHER ANIMALS ARE ALLOWED A QUIET PLACE TO BIRTH- WITHOUT US who could save their lives and make it so much easier!!!

[link=][img noborder]http://bf.l

Posted by: Sarah_F
My point that you people seem to keep missing is that the doctors are good enough for you to save your lives but not to deliver your babies.

Do you get it? You put them down and say how terrible they are and that they did this or that or the other and so therefore you cannot trust them with such a natural and simple process of child birth, but then flip on a coin to say that you would be happy for them to help you in times of sickness, injury etc.

i think you don't get it.
1. babies lives are rarely in danger and therefore why would i need a doctor? i don't know a single homebirther who hasn't transferred when they or their midwives felt there was something wrong.
2. BIRTH IS NOT AN ILLNESS. i go to the doctor for illness. birth is a natural physiological process, as cruncy mama quoted, just like taking a pooh. if i had a problem poohing i would go to the doctor, if i had a problem with my pregnancy or birth, i would too.

seriously, if you don't like what we radical, irresponsible hippies do and think, why do yo persist in posting here? any support or proper information that gets posted gets lost in yours and others viterol.

Posted by: Sarah_F
AND FYI - I have had 2 natural births and an emergency c-section to save my baby's life. But that was probably not needed right? How dare the doctor want to save my baby's life through intervention. Shame on him. I am all for vaginal delivery, but I am also all for doing what is in the best interest of the child and my health and safety.

I have decided that this is my final post on the matter.

No mother that I know, or would want to know, would say no to an intervention that was going to save her child's life. IF god forbid something was seriously going wrong then I would have been the first one to hold up my hand and have every intervention possible to save my child's life. Just because you needed an intervention done to save your child's life doesn't mean that every other woman that is due to give birth now or in the future will. THIS is what we are trying to get across, Drs have their place and for the majority of women this is not at their births.

I really don't care if you think certain interventions were not needed, because they didn't make a lick of difference to my child and that of its health and safety. I mean you all carry on like someone just ran over your dog, when you talk about having an internal??? You all need to get over yourselves, you don't want to go through all the things that having a baby entails - then don't have babies and quit your whingeing! Or give birth like DOGS do - quietly in a corner somewhere where no one has to hear your carry on.

Internals are a modern, medical procedure. I can't recall women in the middle ages ever having an internal exam to check their progress. I didn't realise that having an internal was a "normal" part of having a baby. I had one with DS1 and hated it, I didn't have any with DS2 and my midwife never suggested or told me that they were part of the "business" of giving birth.

I am now officially done with this thread, no more responses from me as I prefer to post in a place that embraces the differences in the way women choose to give birth not tear them down for it.


Sarah F - I chose homebirth the first time, as do many other women, and we still pretty much have the same opinion of docs, they have their place, but should keep their noses out of birth unless there is a clear medical need (which in most cases there is not)

Girlbunny - It is definitely 'allowed' to have your first baby at home, it is YOUR choice, no-one elses.

homebirthing mum to three boys!

Please note that this thread has been edited and locked.

We choose to allow the discussion of Home Births and Drug Free Births on our site, and have created this forum as a supportive place for our members to exchange their knowledge and their ideas on the subject. We also have some top line information on our site on this topic, ie. Your Birth Choice and Non-Drug Pain Relief.

We have seen that this topic can be a heated one, but it does not need to be, if all members provide constructive feedback and respect the opinions of others. We encourage healthy debate on our forum but threads will be edited or removed if discussions become negative and include personal criticisms of other members.

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