Posted by: Sarah_F
Lets look at it from another perspective ladies.... Lets say you were in an accident and were transferred to hospital. The emergency room is a buzz full of complete strangers who see you and the state you are in and immediately get to work to try and save your life. They force you onto your back and hold you down as you are scared and keep thrashing around. You are jabbed with needles, you are sedated, you have a barrage of tests done to ascertain the sustained injuries (all done without your permission of course), next thing you know you are in surgery being operated on and what do you know, they save your life. It was an horrific experience for you and probably one you will never forget, but thankfully you are on the road to recovery with a new bunch of strangers to help in your rehabilitation. You know, to walk, feed your self, speak or what have you.
So am I to be "tarred" with the same brush as the women who have had a bad experience with drs/midwives/nurses in hospital while giving birth even though I had an okay hossy birth with DS1? No disrespect to those ladies of course, I understand why they feel they can't give birth within a hospital environment. I have NEVER said that hospitals and doctors do not have their place, they do, I just think..and I'm just speaking for ME now that birth has become this big medical "drama" that it doesn't always need to be.
Now put your hands up those of you who would prefer to source a trusted doctor of their own who will allow them to stay within the comfort of their own home with all of their family surrounding them so that you can let your body try to sort itself out??? No tests of any sort? No one forcing you to do anything you didn't want to do regardless of whether it is in you best interests or not. No pain relief (heaven forbid).
If I and my caregiver feel it is my best interests to have a procedure I will take it under advisement and make a decision. If I felt that at any time during my home birth that I needed to be transfered to hospital I would have been the first one to hold my hand up and go.
In the context of the accident scenario, no I wouldn't want to stay home but we are talking about birth which is a NATURAL biological function not an illness that needs treating, so if I were in an accident and I needed to go to hospital then I would. I don't see why I should HAVE to go to hospital if I had a straight forward, uneventful pregnancy to give birth, especially if I am not comfortable in those types of surroundings which I am not.
As far as pain relief goes.........I didn't have any for my home birth-that doesn't make me a martyr or superwoman just means that I didn't want any and felt that I could cope without any. Does that mean that every woman can...of course not and I wouldn't expect anyone else to do things how I did just because it was right for me.
What's that you're saying? Thats different????? Doctors have their place, blah blah blah...
It IS different, I don't see a "routine" vaginal exam that I do NOT want as saving my life. Being forcibly held down to do a procedure that is not what I want and usually has no bearing on the birth process so what does it serve to make me have one against my will? This thankfully has never happened to me and I did not have one ve at my home birth and guess what, I still knew when to push and I didn't need somebody to tell me I was 10cm, my BODY told me.
Well if they are good enough and relied upon to save your hypocrytic lives, then how about you give them some god damn respect and stop slamming them. You can't have it both ways! Talk about double standards!
Why am I a hypocrite and exhibiting double standards? Because I don't believe that birth is a medical event that needs treating? I don't have a problem with ALL doctors, though I have seen some rotten ones in my day and if I feel I need to go and see one if I am ill and require treatment then fine.
Show me one post in this thread, or anywhere else on this site for that matter where I
have slammed Doctors. I have respect for some of them, when they are NEEDED. How about you show some respect and compassion for the women who have had a bad time with drs and support them in their decisions instead of telling them to get over it and move on?
I say again, the point of Kandied Heart's original post was venting why she didn't want to give birth in a regular hospital and looking for some support and understanding (which I have tried to give her), and look how it has turned out.
We can go round in circles all day.....you seem to think that ALL women who choose not to give birth in a hospital are the same and chose not to do so for similar/exact same reasons, even though they are not. I chose to RESPECT a woman's RIGHT to decide how SHE gives birth, if that makes me a hypocrite with double standards then so be it. No two birth experiences are the same, even within the same family and should be taken into account when posting replies that may upset women at a time, when SOME of them are vulnerable.