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Will your other children be present during the birth? Lock Rss

Self explanatory really - will your older children be present for the labour/birth?

Personally (dont attack me, just my feelings) I don't want DD to see me in the last stages of labour (She will only be 13 mnonths) or the actual birth. I don't want her to see me in pain I guess. But I do like the romantic idea of her waking up and meeting 'her' new baby
it depends what he feels like. i will prepare him just in case he is happy being there, but if he isn't then he will probably go to mils around the corner.
he will be nearly 3 (i think, still ttc!) and is quite sensitive to my moods, so we will play it by ear.
if he is happy but i decide mid labour he is distracting, he will have to go! lol.
we will try and prepare him a bit by watching videos, reading stories and talking about it with him, and the videos will probably be a good guage as to how he will react on the day. he will also be at all my antenatal appointments, so will be involved anyway.
sorry, i've rambled! i guess the answer is we will prepare him for it but see what happens?

My dd is 14 months and we are ttc #2.
We plan for her to be at home with us and will prepare in a similar way to dougies mum however,
I have asked my mum to be dd support person while I am in labour so she can emotionally support her ,entertain her or keep her away if need be!
I would love her to witness birth and for her to see just how normal it can be but we will play it by ear.(I plan to birth in water,so I can see it now-wanting to go swimming!)

Mumma to M- Growing a Nov babe

My 23 month old son was there for the birth of his brother, he was super cool about the whole thing.

He had his very own support person, and they just cruised around having fun really smile It was absolutely wonderful how it all works out in the end.

I was quite concerned about it beforehand, but was reassured by heaps of homebirth mums who had been there, and we watched a load of dvds and all the children in them were so interested, and calm and happy, it was lovely to see.

I would never exclude any of my children from a birth, but if they wanted to be elsewhere for any reason, then they have their own support people to take them for a walk or whatever is needed.

homebirthing mum to three boys!

Having my two daughters present were a huge oxytocin and endorphine producer for my third birth.
They had their own Doula and had watched lots of births on video. When I got noisier and the girls asked what I was doing their Doula replied "Mummy is singing to the baby" They bought that and with their natural faith in birth (we teach them fear of birth they are not born with it) they kept on playing.

All the best,

DD1 - 5, DD2 - 4, DD3 - 2 Doula Since 2003

I had my two (who were 18 months and almost 3) at their brothers birth, they came in and out as they pleased. My mum was there for them.

We prepared them by watching birth vids and reading books etc, and I was in the birthpool so there wasnt that much to see really.

My 18month old didnt really seem to understand to be honest. He was happy cos he had my mum over and then he saw his brother, didnt say much, and went to bed... but the next morning, first thing he said was "brodie". He knew what had happened, just didnt seem fussed smile

if I was having more kids, then my others would be there 100%, same as this time, as they wanted, with their own support person, with heaps of build up preparation, in their own environment. If they were happy watching telly at the actual "birthtime" fine, or with me, fine too. All up to them.
What a good idea having your kids with their own supoprt person. However, it interferes with my belief that childbirth is a personal moment for the nuclear family. Although I would love to have my other children present, I would not be happy with parents or in laws there. So we will have to see how it goes.

And of course on the other hand, I do not want to ship my daughter off to someone else while I give birth. That's not cool either.

Any suggestions?
Plenty of people do birth with just a partner and child(ren) and midwife or no midwife, I guess the only thing you would need to look at would be that your partner may be called away to support your child if need be, so may not be completely available to support you the entire time. Many women are quite fine with that, simply labouring alone at certain stages (some prefer it that way anyway) or with a midwife.

I guess would come down to how much you think you would need your partner to be with you.

I'll be interested to hear how you decide to work it smile

You are in NZ?
[Edited on 13/01/2008]

homebirthing mum to three boys!

I didn't have my daughter at the birth of my son and won't have either of them there for number 3. I just felt like it would be too distracting for me. In saying that my daughter was there asleep in her room the whole time but she had a support person at the ready to whisk her away if need be.
Ideally, DD will be sleeping when bubs is born and will wake up to find she's a big sister! But realistically it may not happen that way.

Yeah, I'm in New Zealand, Taranaki.

I agree it will probably be too distracting for me to have Riley around, I will worry about her a lot. But I will worry about her a lot if she's not there too. Luckily I have a lot of time to consider my options and find a compromise that fits!
I'm a kiwi mum too, last birth was a homebirth and our other 3 boys were fast asleep in there beds, it was perfect :0) Mr 4 was awake when the midwife arrived but we just explained that she was here to help get our baby out and that if he was a good boy and went to sleep he would be able to hold bubba in the morning and he did. Baby was born at 12.25am, I slept on a mattress in the lounge with him and when the boys woke in the morning hubby brought them out to meet their new brother, it was so right, so relaxing and just wonderful! Good luck with it all. If they had been awake we were just going to see how they went and get my Dad to pick them up if they got too stressed
[Edited on 14/01/2008]

me 24, hubby 25 four boys age 4 and under :0)

Thanks Mummys boyz. I like the idea of having my daughter around but having someone on call in case she needs to get away. I guess coz she changes so much at this age, I have no idea what kind of kid she'll be by then. She's only going to be so little.
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