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leaving a surpise at the end Lock Rss

are there mums to be out there that leave the gender of there baby unknown?? or is that old fashioned ??ive been told to leave it as a surpise but as a first time mum at 23 i want to know ,do i consider her wishes as shes my mother in law and this is her first grandchild?

[Edited on 31/10/2009]
You need to do whatever you want to do. If you want to know then find out just don't tell your mother in law!! Its your baby and your body.
I didn't find out for my first pregnancy but will definately be finding out thisd time so i can prepare myself mentally and also for baby. eg will i need new clothes etc.

Trust yourself to make your own decisions!!

Good luck

I agree its completely a personal choice, and what ever you want to do.

Im a first time mum to be and im not finding out purely because i like the idea of a surprise at the end and a friend got told she was having a boy and out came a girl so it was more dramas then. but i hear thats doesnt happen very often,

also one of my friends didnt find out and she had a girl and she said she didnt have to buy anthing pink for the first 3 months cuz of all the pressies in hospital given to her!

good luck with your decision!

hey im 21wks preg and i really wanted 2 find out as thia is myt first and wanted 2 b prepared. but unfortuanly i couldnt fina put at ultrasound.
my mum and 3 of my sisters didnt have an opinion about me finding out but my other sister was dead set it sould b a suprise and had a full on argument with me about it. i told her that if i found out i just wouldnt tell her. if i have the chance 4 another ultrasound i will definatley find out.

but make sure what ever u do you do it for yourself not 2 make some1 else happy.

good luck
Hey there..
Finding out the sex is something thats really only up to you and your partner. I reckon a lot more people find out nowdays than leaving it a surprise so it's really only personal preference.
With my 1st pregnancy we found out what we were having (2 girls), with this pregnancy we have decided to leave it a surprise so we know what it feels like to have that surprise.
We already have white/green/yellow clothes from previous babies so we don't need to buy anything really and if bubs is a boy then we'll go shopping after his born for boys clothes.
You can always find out but not tell anyone like we did previously..

I call it a HALF WAY SUPRISE!!! ;o) Finding out the sex is so exciting!!

I keep the name a secret so that is the big suprise on the day!

My family didnt want me to find out either but its up to u & ur partner & once i found out they all wanted to know!!

Plus i dont do yellow or green outfits & wanted the room either blue or pink & ready to go for when bubs came home!

I'm so glad i found out with DS! Even had a blue themed baby shower!

Only 32 more sleeps til i can find out the sex of my next bub!! Not that i'm counting!?! LOL

Also helps to get organised...if next bub is a boy i dont need much clothing wise but if its a girl i'm going on a huge shopping spree!!

Definately do what u want..its ur bub & ur decision!!

I had a friend in the same situation and her mother in law did not want to know so they did not tell her and she never went into the nursery.I could imagine that would be hard but if you want to find out then she wont have much of a choice its yours and your partners child so the choice is yours.

I had a friend in the same situation and her mother in law did not want to know so they did not tell her and she never went into the nursery.I could imagine that would be hard but if you want to find out then she wont have much of a choice its yours and your partners child so the choice is yours.

It's up to you what you want to do, maybe you could find out and just tell ppl that you dont know. Personally im all for surprises, you cant change the sex of your baby and there are few nice surprises in life. It's all part of the fun and excitement, there's nothing like your baby being born and then getting to find out what it is. Plus the other thing is i know so many ppl who find out what they are having and tell you the name and then when the baby arrives it is exciting but you already know what it is and the name.

I'm a 1st time mum, I'm 24 & ever since I was in my teens I knew that I wanted to wait to find out the sex. lol
My partner desperately wanted to know & I was against it, but we compromised. He was allowed to find out, but wasn't allowed to tell a sole. I didn't want some one accidently telling me. smile We have a box that anything he buys goes in, that way I can't see it. My mum & his mum are hanging to know! so it's turned into a bit of fun now, as they try & come up with ways to make hime slip up. lol
I didn't really care about 'being prepared' We are renting so can't paint the room. We have chosen to decorate the room with a baby sesame street theme, the pram (black & gray), cot (wood) and car seat (black) so really it's just about clothing, it's just a colour. I'm not really fussed.
I love suprises & I am actually excited knowing that he knows.

But ultimately it's totally up to you. You could find out & just not tell her that you know. No harm no foul lol

I too am a first timer and have decided to wait for the surprise. My husband and i both believe that life offers so few wonderful surprises and this is one we don't want to miss out on. With regards to your mum, she really is the one who should be respecting your wishes not the other way around. Good luck with your decision, but remember once you know you cant take that back and you can always find out the sex at a later date along your pregnancy if you really decide that you want to know. We have also told friends who think we are being difficult regarding presents that we dont want pink anyway and evey other colour can be for either gender. Sorry for all the rambling, but i hope that helps.
All the best,
This is very much an individuals choice. With DD we tried to find out the sex but she was too shy in the scan. My MW said she could organise another scan for us at about 32 weeks (growth scan) but not before that. So DH and I decided that we might as well wait until bubs was born. So it was a nice surprise when she came out. I didn't actually know if she was a he or she until about 10 minutes after she was born as I didn't see her coming out (had eyes closer concentrating on pushing) and she was put on my chest until I was fixed up and then my MW held her up so I could see.....very cool moment smile

This time I really do want to find out as I'm desperate to know if its a boy. But DH and I both agreed before we started to TTC that we would wait so I have to stick to that (but its not going to stop me from looking during the our 20 week scan next week!).

GL with your decision
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