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  5. My two cents - I hope this won't start a fight, just a discussion.

My two cents - I hope this won't start a fight, just a discussion. Lock Rss

Not targeting this at anyone in particular - but I think naming your child something obscure/weird/unique is child abuse! Especially when people are making up names!

Do parents not realise they are setting their child up for bullying when they hit school?

I think its very cruel and selfish of parents to decide not to 'follow the norm' to some tiny extent when it comes to naming their children.

Anyone agree with me?
i think it would be terrible if all kids were john and jane! i think some creativity is great, but not too extreme. but at the same time, what does it matter WHAT a child's name is, it is superficial to judge a person by their name. kids get picked on for more things than their name (unfortunately). these days i think anything almost goes. i have a different name and was never picked on. i have taught in many schools and daycare centres and heard it all, but no kid has been picked on because of their name. and who will be the name police and decide what is 'weird' and what is 'normal'?
not fighting either, just my opinion!

Child abuse is everyone’s problem and it’s more common than you think. It affects children from every type of home, family, religion, race and culture. In most cases of abuse, the abuser is well known to the child – a family member, close relative or friend of the family.

Child abuse might be sexual, physical, emotional or neglect. Sometimes children are abused in more ways than one.

* Physical abuse is any physical injury done, non-accidentally, to a child by a parent or caregiver. Physical abuse endangers the child’s physical or emotional health or development. Shaking a baby is physical abuse.
* Emotional abuse includes constant yelling, threatening, scaring a child, belittling them or playing games with their emotions.
* Sexual abuse is when children (sometimes even toddlers and babies) are used in a sexual way by someone older. This includes everything from obscene exposure, touching the genitals in a sexual way, to rape. It doesn’t include normal sexual play between children of approximately the same age.
* Neglect is when children don’t have enough food, love or care. Neglected children may not get enough love and affection, they may not have enough to eat, their injuries may be left untreated, their clothes may not be warm enough, they may be dirty and at risk of infection, or they may be left alone. Neglect can be fatal. Children left unsupervised can die in house fires, be hit by cars or drown in baths or pools.


I am offended by the use of abuse considering the horrific death of

Nia Glassey

(this is just my personal view point as you have yours)
I think child abuse is a wrong choice of words.. there is no way calling your child something different is child abuse.. distasteful and wrong thing to do maybe.. but after all it is every parents choice to call their son or daughter what they like. and whats suits their child.. so i say you knew that this would make people unhappy and get replies and thats the exact reason u wrote it!!

I don't think that the OP was making light of physical, sexual or any other forms of child abuse - she was trying to make a point that an obscure name by society's standards can be likened to child abuse in an emotional form.

I think that the OP is trying to say that an obscure name that society is not accustomed to MAY set the child up for years of taunts and teasing - is this not classified as a form of abuse?
Posted by: danae
i think it would be terrible if all kids were john and jane!


I completely agree

...it is superficial to judge a person by their name. kids get picked on for more things than their name


Yes that is true however certain names will set off warning bells - you might as well hand you kid over to the school bully on a silver platter

i have taught in many schools and daycare centres and heard it all, but no kid has been picked on because of their name.


You must live somewhere fantastic because where I live (and I've moved about a fair bit as a child) bullying other people because of their name (amongst other things) was rife. eg. I have a good friend called Payal (pronounced pile). She would be referred to as Payal of sh|t OR people would attempt to pronounce her name and call her PAY-AL. Another person I knew was called Chummy. He got 'So Chumpy you could carve it'.

Kids are/can be cruel - names are just one thing that they will pick on until they are old enough to realise that maybe THEIR name is weird to other cultures/people etc etc

and who will be the name police and decide what is 'weird' and what is 'normal'?


that would be society. names that were popular way back when would be seem as ludicrous nowadays. society changes it's values and views and as such this has an effect of lots of things, names included. what's seen as 'normal' today may not be tomorrow.



Do you know what yeah there are some stupid names out there but it just stops being stupid and just IS that persons name, that can also be said for the more common names too. I Personally think the worst a parent can do is mess with the spelling as the way a name looks in print is such a huge part of a name too.

Despite the fact I have 2 kids with No 1 names Im all for something that isnt a regular overused name. Ive seen some fabulous names on here that had I had my time over I would have serioulsy considered using them.

Can it be likened to abuse ??????? I dont know. Kids will pick on anything. Some people stop getting known by their name and are just known by everyone by their nickname and how many nicknames can be taken seriously LOL


[Edited on 23/12/2008]
I think this discussion has been had a few days ago in 'made up names' so I won't repeat myself.
However, I do want to add that I know some children (Through the foster care system) who have been abused by their parents and one in particular who had over 30 fractures at the age of 12 weeks! (Thankfully now in long term foster care with friends of mine) So I don't think the phrase 'child abuse' should be used so lightly.

I don't think I have seen any legitimate posts on this forum that I have thought that the names were unusable but I have seen a few silly ones that some people have obviously taken seriously.
As for made up names, weren't all names made up at one time or another?
Posted by: dakotagrace

* Emotional abuse includes constant yelling, threatening, scaring a child, belittling them or playing games with their emotions.


I am offended by the use of abuse considering the horrific death of

Nia Glassey

(this is just my personal view point as you have yours)


dakotagrace, in arguing against me you highlighted what I mean by child abuse (as stated in your definition!)

Is not setting your child up for ridicule by naming him/her something obscure/made up emotional abuse?

As you well know, I meant not to offend re the death of Nia Glassey and you are obviously just trying to start an argument by bringing up a sad yet irrelevant topic.
I agree that the word "abuse" is a bit extreme. I too have an unusual name and was never bullied or picked on (in fact I was the "popular" girl in school).

I think the world would be boring if we all had the same "standard" names. Just as if we all looked the same or talked the same...

I agree kids can be very cruel at times - but a name does not necessarily mean that is why they will pick on someone.

What if the poor child has sticky-out ears, or freckles, or red hair, or a lisp, or a stutter, or their dad drives a beat-up car instead of something newer?

So unless we start cloning all the "Angelina Jolies" and "Brad Pitts" (drool) of the world and then name them all John and Sarah, when does being an "individual" begin and being "standard" end?
I also agree that the term 'abuse' is a bit harsh.
Even if a child has a plain name or a 'normal' name they can still be teased for many other things, and i'm sure children can still come up with a way of teasing them about their name if they wanted to.
What I actually find amusing about this section of Huggies is alot are tripping over themselves to come up with that one elusive name but then ask for everyone elses approval on it...if you were confident in your name choice the opinions of others wouldnt be an issue.
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