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baby's last name Rss

hey all, i am due with a baby girl late june this yr. my problem is her daddy broke up with me when i was 3 months preg. he wants to be involved and we are still friends. but this problem is turning into a massive fight. what last name do we give her??? i want her to have my last name, i dont like hypens and he wants her to have he's. he cant understand my side and i dont have any good reason for it other than she is still he's child without he's name, i dont know what to do as we both dont want ot back down sad help??
You'll be the one that gets the paperwork at the hossy so ultimately it's your decision. He doesn't have more right than you to give the child his name.
My DP and I have been together 13 years but never married as he doesn't want to, which is fine & I respect that but I've always said if / when we had kids I'd like the same surname as them..... now we're pregnant with #1 he's a bit more phased about this than he thought he would be I think. So we're mulling over whether bub gets my name or his (his is probably nicer lol so might be unkind to lump them with mine). Another idea we like is not to hyphenate but still list both surnames. For example Jane Brown Smith or Jane Smith Brown.... ? Would that help?

You've done so well remaining friends so far would be a shame to fall out over this so hope you find a solution you both like.
Personally i dont see the big deal about your daughter having his last name. Yes you have broken up, but he does want something to do with her, there are many kids out there whos father, sperm donor or whatever you want to call them, dont want to be apart of their childs life.

Plus she will get married and more than likely take her husbands last name anyway...

Just my opinion..grin

Good luck with whatever you decide

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="">http://lil

I guess the problem you may have in the future is: if the baby has his last name and then you meet someone else and have another baby, potenially your kids could have different last names and that could be confusing!!

The other thing is, that child is ALWAYS going have a different name to you, so when enrolling in school and things your going to have the whole "my last name is smith but hers is brown"......DF and i get married in 10months and i am hanging for it just so my last name matches DD's!!! maybe not a big deal to some but bugs the crap out of me.

thats just my opinion.



I would have your name in your babies name somewhere at least. My daughters surname is hypenated (my name-his name) and her father and i aren't together anymore (left when my daughter was almost 9wks), so I'm really glad I got my name in there. I usually just use my surname on things unless it is medical or legal.

You asked for opinions, so here goes - I'm going against the norm and saying give her your name. He cannot force you into it and if it's going to be just you and her living together I think it would be nice if you both had the same last name.

Also I have a good friend who broke up with her partner while pregnant and they planned to still do everything together etc so DD got his surname. However, now he is basically an a$%sehole, not paying maintenance, hardly every wants to see DD etc so my friend very much regrets giving her his name. I'm not saying that will happen to you to, but ultimately it is up to you and whatever happens you will ALWAYS be in her life so if it were me I'd want her to have my name.
Kylara got her Dad's last name, but only because we plan to marry soon. I figured it was pointless her having my surname, only to change it in a year or two.

I honestly think you should give the baby your surname. If you and he are no longer together, there's no reason for her to take his name. Are you going to be her primary carer? She'll live with you, and you will be responsible for her, so she should take your name.
What if he stops being involved, or you end up separating completely and he has nothing to do with you or her, and you're stuck with his surname.

You asked for opinions, so here goes - I'm going against the norm and saying give her your name. He cannot force you into it and if it's going to be just you and her living together I think it would be nice if you both had the same last name.

Also I have a good friend who broke up with her partner while pregnant and they planned to still do everything together etc so DD got his surname. However, now he is basically an a$%sehole, not paying maintenance, hardly every wants to see DD etc so my friend very much regrets giving her his name. I'm not saying that will happen to you to, but ultimately it is up to you and whatever happens you will ALWAYS be in her life so if it were me I'd want her to have my name.


That last part, my neice has the last name of her father who doesnt want anything to do with her sad and so my sister obviously regrets putting his last name on the certificate.

Do what you want, if it causes arguements then it does but you're going to be the one whos constant in your childs life and you know this man more than us, so if you think things are gonna go pear shaped with the whole situation (like him being one of those aholes) then give your daughter your last name

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="">http://lil

I totally agree with TD5F36. You are much more likely to be the one living with and caring for this baby. Maybe you could use his family name as a middle name (depending on what it is).
Just think everything may be rosy now with him and you may use his last name, but say one day later down the track everything isnt so rosy anymore and you want to change her name back...both parents have to sign and he could be a real prick about it and not sign!

my say is if he isnt around he doesnt deserve to leave his name lingering around either.
agree that she should have your surname or if he has to have his in there somewhere do as i did and put it in with her middle name eg Jane (marie Brown) Smith.
My son got my surname as his father P***ed off but when I married another my son still kept my maiden name and his surname as part off his middle name and we both have the same surname when I got married. I legally changed it after our wedding so he is the same as my other 3 kids. We are ALL the same surname.

Hope this makes sense. I'm glad I did it this way. Good luck and it is you who has the last say.

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