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Just wondering what mummies do when they don't have a support network?.I have 3 girls. 14 yr old,a 11 yr old and a 6month old. I've had depression with each child. This time its different. I get so upset and angry at the drop of a hat,for the most studid or simplest of things. And I get so ashamed of my self for it. My 6 month old is horrible when it comes to getting her to sleep,and she doesn't get enough at day time. Sleeps right through the night though.she will wake,but self settles.at day is just horrible. I just end up crying. I've asked for help,but this town is pathetic for stuff like this. I don't have friends or even family to help. How do other mums cope?
I know you said you have asked for help, but have you looked in all places like your gp can give you a referral to speak to a counsellor or a referral to get a place in a sleep school like karitane or trisillian. There's also your clinic nurse if you have one local, or you could ring the midwives at the hospital they may have someone they can put you in touch with like a social worker or someone from mental health for your depression or sometimes they have a group of volunteers that will come out to help you with things, anything from doing some housework, holding the baby to give you a break (not sure where you live but I know there is an organisation in my area that do it but can't think of their name right now). Even giving lifeline a ring and speaking it out with someone may give you some alternatives or insight into something you may not have thought of.

I think it's awesome that you have recognised the signs early and want to seek help. Just don't give up until you get the help you need!
I was seeing a counsellor through mental health. It didn't prove a thing. I went for over a year. She wasn't very helpful to b honest. I've thought about the sleep clinic,but its an hour away and I've got my other girls to think about and theres a huge waiting list. If I could just help bub to sleep I think things would be a little easier for me and I wouldn't feel so useless to her
Do you have a rocker/bouncer for her to sleep in during the day or even a swing? My girls used to sleep a fair bit in theirs when they were smaller during the day.

I know a few of the girls on here use slings, maybe this is an option so you can do this while she sleeps?

Sorry I'm not much help in the sleep department. Hopefully some of the other girls may have more ideas!
No,you are a great help. I'm willing to try any ideas. She is a very long baby. In the 98%. So she is a wee bit to long for the rocker and such things. I know I shouldnt complain because so many mums out there worse off with babies that won't sleep at all. Its just so hard when I think I've exhausted every trick in the book! Bub won't take to a dummy either! Its hard because it kinda makes me feel like im not doing enough for bub and nothing can make me feel better when I put her down for a nap and its a struggle every single time. And no one to help! My other girls do what they can,but I feel its not their responsibility,though they love bub so much
How long are you keeping her up between attempts at naps? At this age my son was up for 2 hours max between naps and he had 3 naps a day. 2 of 1.5 hours and 1 of 45 mins in late avo.

Something like this (but due to him not being a robot it was slightly different everyday but I still stuck to 2 hours max awake time)

7.00am wake & milk, solids 1 hour later
9.00am nap
10.30am wake and milk, solids 1 hour later
12.30pm nap
2.00pm wake and milk
4.00pm nap (usually short one 45 mins)
5.00pm dinner
6.00pm bath
6.30pm milk
7.00pm bedtime


Maybe she just needs her routine jiggled around a bit?

Maybe make her bedroom darker for naptimes?



At moment she is going just close to 2 hours between naps. She will nap about 45 minutes to about an hour. Room is very dark and just started using white noise. And no luck. I had the sleep lady come in and said I was doing things right,and she's just a difficult baby...?... I didn't really want to hear that! I'm hanging in there,but gee,I'm struggling. My older girls are great,but it be nice to have adult conversations and a cuppa too! Oh, and she has learnt the art of squealing today! Oh dear...lol
Supermummy wrote:
Have you had her looked at for reflux?! DD was a reflux and colic bub and she slept fairly well at night but not at all in the day. No magic solutions for you tho unfortunately. I saw the plunket nurse here and they said "you just wrap her up like this and put her down and she goes to sleep" and the little bugger did. Lol. I said I wasnt happy with that and wanted to come again. I went back 2 weeks later and they said the same and she screamed the place down. They had to put her in a diffferent room so she didnt wake the other babies. And she screamed and screamed and screamed for like 3 hours. Eventually they said "I just dont know what to do anymore" that comment is what made all the difference to me. As if even the professionals couldnt do it then at least I wasnt a complete failure.... :s

Sorry I cant be more help. Hope it starts to pick up for you soon. People say "just think yourself lucky they sleep well at night" and while I was grateful for that it didnt really help because all day was when I was on my own and struggling and was so so hard.
She has reflux,and it has settled down a bit. It certainly is hard,and as you said people say thank yourself lucky they sleep all night,but little do they realise that it is so hard through the day time! You feel Like you've done something wrong somewhere,and its your baby that can't be settled and makes you feel like you've failed. And it can't last forever right? I can't see myself in 5 years doing it stills wink.I hope!lol...
I can sympathise with you yogi79, my son has reflux and has been on medication since he was 3 months old when he refused to eat at all. I know how hard it is with the sleep, he never used to sleep more than 15 mins during the day and maybe 2 hours at a time during the night. It is a struggle and a lot of people don't understand when your baby can't sleep how really hard it is on you. There is a website that was given to me by my health nurse for some support of other mothers with reflux babies, the infant reflux support association. It does cost about $30 to join, but they do have a lot of support and guidance to give. Hope this helps you in some way.
Oh...I can't complain by the sounds of that. You poor thing avareal. When people say the saying "sleep like a baby" , I just laugh now. If only they knew what most babies sleep like tongue . I hope things get better for you x
Thanks yogi79, my son is now 9 months old and it was a complete turn-around once he was put on the reflux medication. We have good days and bad days but he sleeps a whole lot better, and I just had to be really strict on a routine and getting him to bed about the same time everyday and a few different tricks like tilting his mattress and putting him to sleep on his side since he was 3 months old really helped. Do you think perhaps that your daughters reflux is playing up? I know a lot of things can upset them esp teething, growth spurts, vaccinations and even new things? My son went through some of this around 5-6 months, he wouldn't eat well and thus didn't sleep well either. Just know that there are people out here you can talk to and even ask for advice and that your not alone even when it feels like you are.
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