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Am I asking for too much? Rss

When I was pregnant with DS2 (He will be 1 on monday *tear*) DH came to ME and said "you have been through enough I will get the snip so you dont have to go on contraception"

Now that DS is 1 he has been delaying it for a while etc. So he comes to me the other night and says "I have dont some research and decided I dont want to get it done anymore" He said because of Chronic noninfectious epididymal pain. He said 28% of men will get it. I asked him where he got his information from and he said a website!! He didnt say what website and couldnt tell who, what,where the survey was done!!

I asked him to make an INFORMED decision about it like talk to a GP, vasectomy doctor, other men who have been through it. He has pretty much gona onto a forum, read some mens opinion on it and made up his mind.

I am extremely upset! It was his idea and its time to finally do it and he hasnt made a real effort to research it properly and has pretty much left it all up to me to go on something!!

I dont know if I am being irational but I think bloody hell I carried 2 kids, gave birth, look after them the least you could do is get the snip. We most def do not want anymore kids!!

What do I do? I told him to speak to doctors etc but keeps saying "im scared of the PVP and have totally gone off the idea" I get so upset every time we start talking about it and dont know what to do. Im thinking of finding out all the info I can (proper info) and giving it to him to read and also getting people on here whos hubbys have gone through it and print out there thoughts on it etc.

I know its not a decision to take lightly but come on grow some balls lol

Guys start acting funny when it comes to their bits.
I would do your own research and then hit him with the facts.
My hubby said he may do it but wants to wait to we formally decide if we have another one.




No your not, its a 20min procedure, and a day off work if he gets it done on a thursday, a couple of panadol. honestly my husband was out walking the dog the next day.

About time he grew up. whats a tiny bit of pain compaired to pushing a baby out or recovering from a c section..... oh thats just like sneezing butterflies.....

I say try the NO SEX approach and tell him your not going on anything either then.... my husband got done 6weeks after our last baby was born we have 3
Good idea, get a heap of information from reputable sources and give it to him to read. Maybe search for some accurate information about the PVP from an accurate source (hospital websites etc)
im going through the same thing atm.
i found this and it really explains alot, of what happens different ways of it done post op complications etc.
you could also maybe go the doctor yourself and get some info for him to read through at home.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy

Tahnks ladies will do that!! I just find it iresponsible (i think thats the word) that his wife has to research it for him (properly) for him to make a decision you know? I have offered to go to the doctors together with him.

Men and there bits. Meh. He isnt scared of getting the procedure done more so the after part. I said talk to someone qualified about your fears so they can help you understand them.

Will start the research now and also start a new thread soon about peoples hubbys and there experiences.

Thanks ladies smile

imo it is the least he can do. but failing that....condoms?

When I was pregnant with DS2 (He will be 1 on monday *tear*) DH came to ME and said "you have been through enough I will get the snip so you dont have to go on contraception"

Now that DS is 1 he has been delaying it for a while etc. So he comes to me the other night and says "I have dont some research and decided I dont want to get it done anymore" He said because of Chronic noninfectious epididymal pain. He said 28% of men will get it. I asked him where he got his information from and he said a website!! He didnt say what website and couldnt tell who, what,where the survey was done!!

I asked him to make an INFORMED decision about it like talk to a GP, vasectomy doctor, other men who have been through it. He has pretty much gona onto a forum, read some mens opinion on it and made up his mind.

I am extremely upset! It was his idea and its time to finally do it and he hasnt made a real effort to research it properly and has pretty much left it all up to me to go on something!!

I dont know if I am being irational but I think bloody hell I carried 2 kids, gave birth, look after them the least you could do is get the snip. We most def do not want anymore kids!!

What do I do? I told him to speak to doctors etc but keeps saying "im scared of the PVP and have totally gone off the idea" I get so upset every time we start talking about it and dont know what to do. Im thinking of finding out all the info I can (proper info) and giving it to him to read and also getting people on here whos hubbys have gone through it and print out there thoughts on it etc.

I know its not a decision to take lightly but come on grow some balls lol


Hey Vanessa, how have you been?
Cant believe the little ones are 1 this week!?!?! Where has that time gone? I know what you mean about tearing up, all Em's birthday party stuff got delivered this morning and I was a bit sad.

Anyhoo, we are sort of in the same situation atm.
After Em was born, we (I) decided that DH needed to get the snip, but friends of ours said when they tried to get it done, the vasectomy doctor said that they preferred to wait until the youngest was a year old (in case something happens, I guess????)
Anyway DH breathed a sigh of relief, and thought it was topic over.
But, I keep sliding it in there every now and again and he sort of coughs and changes the subject.
He doesnt really want me to go back onto the pill (and nor do I), and since we certainly do not want any more children and I apparently can fall quite easily, I want this done.

Perhaps it should be his 33rd birthday present bahahahahaha laugh

His Royal Highness, Prince William

I don't think it's up to you to spoon-feed him the info. If it's important to him, he'll do it. I'd tell him to figure out what HE wants to do re contraception as you feel you've done your fair share and it's now his turn. (I assume you took the responsibility for contraception prior to having children?) As frustrating as it is, he won't do it unless he feels totally comfortable with it and as much as you want him to, do you really want to push it on him if he's not 100% happy about it?
My 23yr old DP is talking about getting it done. I find it amusing that older men get scared and change their minds. What happened to older and more wiser!

Why not make an appointment with the Dr, tell your DH it's for you and make him come along? The no sex approach is good too. Why risk another pregnancy?

I agree with PP's. You've done your bit, now it's time for him to man up and do his bit. A 20min procedure isn't the end of the world! And I think the pros outweigh the cons for something like this.

Personally i think this is a VERY big decision that is not be taken lightly - so sorry but am going with your DH here.
You both sound quite young and never know what the future may bring - i know you say you definitely don't want any more children, but when you have 2 young ones it is easy to say "oh we don't want anymore" but in a few years you may change your mind, or circumstances my change.
Two very sad instances i know of are my SIL's cousin lost their DS in a car accident 5 years ago - and they have decided to try for another
also my bf husband left her for another woman (after 10 years and 3 children together) he had a vasectomy, and now is having a reversal to have a child with his new wife
you never know what the future may bring, and yes you did carry two children, give birth etc - but life/marriage is not a game of "i did this for you, now you have to do something equally for me" - sorry but that is what this sounds like
Also, put the shoe on the other foot - would you have a tubal litigation done? (no, then why should your DH get this done?) there are other forms of contraception - it just doesn;t have to be the snip.

Personally i think this is a VERY big decision that is not be taken lightly - so sorry but am going with your DH here.
You both sound quite young and never know what the future may bring - i know you say you definitely don't want any more children, but when you have 2 young ones it is easy to say "oh we don't want anymore" but in a few years you may change your mind, or circumstances my change.
Two very sad instances i know of are my SIL's cousin lost their DS in a car accident 5 years ago - and they have decided to try for another
also my bf husband left her for another woman (after 10 years and 3 children together) he had a vasectomy, and now is having a reversal to have a child with his new wife
you never know what the future may bring, and yes you did carry two children, give birth etc - but life/marriage is not a game of "i did this for you, now you have to do something equally for me" - sorry but that is what this sounds like
Also, put the shoe on the other foot - would you have a tubal litigation done? (no, then why should your DH get this done?) there are other forms of contraception - it just doesn;t have to be the snip.

you can't live your whole life what if he leaves me for someone else blah blah blah then i hope his willie would fall off.... yes major things may happen but its not the rule and all doom and gloom. based on the facts at the time he should be the one getting the snip....
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