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Behavioural Problems Rss

HI. DD is nearly 5 & since the age of approx 18 months she has been a difficult child. Growing up has not matured or mellowed her behaviour. To cut a long story short, I am wondering if there might be some "underlying issues" why she acts as she does, so I am thinking of taking her to see a child psychologist. Has anyone else used a child psychologist? After constantly dealing with this behaviour, I am at my wits end & need to do something. I'm wondering if she might suffer from anxiety or something...Does anyone have a child who suffers from anxiety...I'd really love to hear other people's experiences. thanks
Perhaps if you search around online for issues that could be causing your daughter's behaviour, you may be able to get some ideas. Of course, you cannot trust all you read online, but if you sift through enough webpages, articles, forums and blogs you will be able to locate good and helpful information. Have you considered dyspraxia, ADHD, autism, global developmental delay, giftedness, intolerances to foods etc? Child psychologists specialised in gifted children can be very good for gifted children, because they will be able to identify areas in which your child would enjoy pursuing things (interest wise), and areas in which they may be out of sync with age peers emotionally or in some other way (to identify problem areas). So, I don't know about "sessions" as such, but I know that a professional may be able to identify if your child has something specific that could be causing her behaviour.

Perhaps if you put some of the "symptoms" of difficulty onto the forum, someone may know something about a particular issue.

To answer your question of anxiety, my daughter suffers anxiety linked to her giftedness. I have not taken her to see a professional, but I have researched ways to help her, and found good information in books and websites about her issues.
Hi, from my experience I would try a child psychologist rather than keep battling through it alone. We took our 3.5 year old son to one a month ago on the advice of the early childhood nurse. Not sure of the services in your area but for us it was a public hospital service. She was wonderful, had good advice, talked through the issues and gave us a plan. She also gave us her contact details so we could email with questions etc. In a situation where you are out of ideas it's sometimes the easiest option to get an opinion from a professional. Good luck.
Hi there,

I have been in your exact position. Infact I had my 2nd child believing that some of the issues could have been the fact that my son was lonely and maybe needed a play mate. Only to discover the hard way there was no changes. My son is now at school and I am still having to deal with difficult behaviors. For me every year he got older, I thought would get easier, it just got harder. We still have no answers. We have seen child psychologists, who we have invited in our home as I was at my wits end. We have even got to the extent where we were advised to go on parenting courses. Unfortunately none of these have helped. I just have to deal with it the best I can and I know how, none of my friends or family can relate to what I am going through. All I can do is be consistent. Sorry this is not really of any help, but I know what you are going through. Stay strong!!
Would love to know a bit of history of the behaviour and if you go to a child psychologist whether you find it worthwhile.

Our DD is 2yrs old and is a bit of a handful and has been since she was born. DD cried a lot as a baby, doesn't sleep well and now is very aggressive (biting is her perferred method of trying to get something). Everything else developmentally seems to be normal.

I often wonder whether it is all normal toddler behaviour or something more. Terrified that the behaviour will continue and escalate as she gets older rather than the reverse.
Thanks so far for everyone's responses. Here are some examples, which might be a little more specific to people's experiences;

She is constantly twirling her hair, or touching her face or doing something with her hands - at pre school it's extremely difficult for her to sit still. She either has to poke, push or do something to disrupt the children sitting by her - This kind of thing is what makes me wonder if there is an "underlying" problem (the fidgeting, disruptiveness etc)

When she gets told "no" - temper tantrums (crying, screaming, throwing things at people & just throwing things in general, scratching, slamming doors etc) These can last for HOURS (or sometimes end immediately if she gets what she wants)

EVERY DAY she does the same naughty things or exhibits behaviour she knows is unacceptable - it's like she doesn't have the ability to learn. She could do something again she was only punished for 5 minutes ago (like pull the cats tail)

We have tried - ignoring her, time outs, taking away toys/things she likes to do, smacking, yelling, trying to reason with her (talking to her in a calm, reasonable manner), monitoring foods (trying to cut out certain preservatives, limit sugary foods etc)

For Example, to me, it seems as though there is
-lack of self control
-extremely impulsive behaviour
-frustration/anger (on her part)
-Unable to self soothe, or calm down
-A lack of understanding about the consequences of her actions(eg she won't accept or doesn't understand the reason she is in time out is because she did this....
-Attention seeking

Sorry, I know it's a lot of info! Thanks again


For Example, to me, it seems as though there is
-lack of self control
-extremely impulsive behaviour
-frustration/anger (on her part)
-Unable to self soothe, or calm down
-A lack of understanding about the consequences of her actions(eg she won't accept or doesn't understand the reason she is in time out is because she did this....
-Attention seeking



If you take that list to a behavioural expert or psychologist, they will probably be able to help you! I don't know if this is normal behaviour but considering she is now 5 I think you are right to consider getting some professional advice.

One of the points, the inability to realise consequences/difficulty comprehending something she should have already learned... is it possible that she is perfectly capable of learning them, and does know the outcome, however because it is punishable she disregards it? How does she react with real-life consequences? eg touching hot water, pulling something off the bench that would then spill, eating something she doesn't like etc? Maybe you need to figure out WHY she appears to not respond to repetitive consequences, it could be a behavioural rather than a retention problem. (Not necessarily that she does it on purpose, but some kind of high level stress that causes her to shut down in that regard?)

My son and daughter have a "shut-down" mode when something is of high level anxiety to them, which could be similar to this particular thing you are saying.
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