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To give my daughter a sibling or not? Rss

Hi - I am just wanting other people's thoughts and opinions please!

My DD is turning 18mths soon and loves other children. I am under pressue from my partner and mother to have another baby however, I don't want any more children. I had a really hard time with my DD - suffering both ante-natal and post-natal depression and I received no help from my partner or family - they just constantly difficult and how telling me how I was failing as a parent. After all that, I vowed never to have another baby ever again. It's just I know my DD would be 'disadvantaged' as an only child because she loves playing and interacting with other children - I would be having the baby for the sole purpose of providing my daughter a play-mate.

So here's the debate - should I have a baby (that I really don't want) just so my DD isn't lonely or stay the way we are and have DD have a crappy childhood?
I don't see why being an only child means your child is going to have a crappy childhood? There are plenty of other places that she can interact with other children. I myself always knew I wanted more than just one child. I think this is a decision you have to make on your own with your DP. I think if you decide to have another it should be for more reasons other than just giving your DD a sibling. You don't want to end up resenting a baby that you didn't want to have in the first place. Good luck with your decision.
in my opinion if you dont want another baby.. then dont have one.
there are plenty of other ways your daughter can play with other children like playgroups.. and when shes older there will be pre-school etc.
to have another baby just so your daughter will have someone to play with to me is silly. they might not even get along or want to play with each other who knows.
i dont think she will have a crappy childhood just because she is an only child. i also dont think it matters how many children you have its more the time you spend with them and the activities you do with them that makes it good.
when you think about it, do you remember your early years anyway? i know i dont. when she is at school she will have lots of friends to play with and plenty of opportunities to have playdates.
dont do anything that will make you unhappy. you may not want another child now but maybe one day you will.

It really is up to you if you have another baby. If you don't want another one done and sit down with you DP and tell him how you are feeling about this subject.
For us we knew we wanted to have 2 maybe 3 children.
Just do what is best for you.
And your DD will be fine either way.





Hi - I am just wanting other people's thoughts and opinions please!

My DD is turning 18mths soon and loves other children. I am under pressue from my partner and mother to have another baby however, I don't want any more children. I had a really hard time with my DD - suffering both ante-natal and post-natal depression and I received no help from my partner or family - they just constantly difficult and how telling me how I was failing as a parent. After all that, I vowed never to have another baby ever again. It's just I know my DD would be 'disadvantaged' as an only child because she loves playing and interacting with other children - I would be having the baby for the sole purpose of providing my daughter a play-mate.

So here's the debate - should I have a baby (that I really don't want) just so my DD isn't lonely or stay the way we are and have DD have a crappy childhood?


Hi there! I was in the exact same situation until after DS turned 2 then something in me changed. I wanted another baby then.

I had ante and post-natal depression as well, and it lasted a long time after that due to DS having medical problems. I asked myself the same questions, as DS loves other kids and my DP really wanted a second child. I didnt though.

I didnt worry too much about DS being an only child as he sees lots of kids and has lots of cousins. Plus my niece is an only child and she is now 12 and has had no problems growing up as an only child as she had lots of friends as well.

TBH i really dont know what changed, just after DS turned 2 i started having clucky feelings around other babies, then at the start of this year we started ttc. Didnt take long and i fell pregnant and i was over the moon.

All i can say is, dont rush into anything if you arent sure. And 18 months is still really young as well, she is really still a baby herself. So maybe give yourself a bit more time and maybe you will see things differently. But u need to have a good chat with your DP about it as well. And tell your mum to butt out! Sounds harsh but u dont need that either! You dont need to be pressured about having to make such a big decision. But im sure you will make the right decision, whatever that may be. Good luck!! smile

Being an only child doesnt mean that your daughter misses out on anything, she just has really close friends instead. If you dont want to have another baby then dont. The depression will only be worse after having a baby that you never really wanted. TBH your child is still young and you can always give them sister/brother when you feel ready, and if it is never, well dont feel bad at all, she get all your love and attention where if she had siblings she would have to share that too.
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