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i just have to add that imo people shouldnt be looking down on us young mums...they should be admiring us!!
i mean sure some of us had planned pregnancies and some had unplanned ones but they dont know who planned them and who didnt, i think the main thing is that if we have children we obviously love them and want them. they should all just be releived that we didnt obort them (sorry if i offend anyone with that)
when i found out i was pregnant (ds was unplanned and i was no longer with his dad) i was scared but i new that i could never go through with an abortion just as i new that i could never have my baby adopted out. i wouldne be able to stand going through the whole pregnancy and labour and have no baby to show off at the end. i love my son very much and he gets everything. im not working at the moment and am on the benifit, so the little money i have all goes on him.

the thing that shocked me the most when i was pregnant was a lady at work came up to me and asked if i was gonna keep my baby, i told her i was and ten she pulled out a big sob story about how her friends are desperate for a baby and want to adopt. i was sympathetic to her and once she finnished she asked if i would consider giving my baby to them. i was so shocked i didnt know what to say.
hi i didn't realise there was so many young mums on here i was 16 when i fell pregnant but was 17 by the time my ds was born (my older sister was 15 when she had her dd) my ds was planned because me and my partner were ready, living in our own place and financally stable the way we see it is when our kids are grown up we will still be young enough to travel and enjoy life i personally just ignore the comments and stares it does annoy me but they have no idea about your life at all i say good on all mums no matter what the age cos being a parent is not exactly easy but it is very rewarding

Okay firstly KNC890, not meaning any disrespect to anyone here n correct me if i am wrong. but something you said really annoys me Ppl Doing Drugs whilst Pregnant! n this isnt directed towards you as you said u stopped and this Fine n plus dope is nothing. its Junkies that annoye me in the past Two years i have seen A family Firend do heavy drugs whilst being pregnant she gave birth a couple of months before i gave birth to my Daughter ( they gave the baby eveything) however the baby was stiff and couldnt move or anythink.. then sadly the baby died before it turned 1. why they still dont kno they did say reason but yes! then she just gave birth to another baby do these ppl not have respect i think it ppl like that that Dont deserve kids! sorry...I also Fully agree with you bout older ladys Baggin on you n your Baby thats Appualing we are ment to Respect our elders but how can we when they Show us Nothing!! but all we can do is be the best parents we can, love n chersish our children hold our heads high! everyone is Equall. Another thing i read in another Post was baby bonus>>>>>> what a disgrace i didnt even kno what it was wen i had my first child., this time around i do and wen i was working myself and another Young lady thingy of having a baby Coped slack from the two older woman @ work saying all young ppl waste it n byu flat screens Etc,I think if your ture to your bay and starting a family you'll do the rite thing for you! why young ppl me and my partner where in Centrelink one day and a couple cam in were rally happy and we were like wow thery're excitted thats Great to c... they then walked out side and all they cared bout was wen the Money was gonna be in there Bank??? please explain and they were 30-40's.. Also young mum have andvantage as we can Grow with our Kids, and be energettic with them although @ the moment i feel very Yukky havin a lil 20 month old and one coming in 4 weeks..., but cant wait. My advise to young ppl live your life and enjoy your baby n you can still have A good time being young including your baby, most of our firends makesure we taking our baby to bbq's etc n they are all under 23 years of age! Dont feel you have to be pressured into abortion, adobtion!! make the rite choice for you and ppl who care most will support you through anythink if they care, Young means Nothing or should i say age.... bak in our grandparents days they got married Early, had huge familys n kids early. whats the Difference now???? why so frowned upon Im really confused???????? shed some light on all this For me. thankx
I am a young mother, however i did not plan my babies, I always thought i would never be a mother that it just wasnt my cup of tea. I have just turned 20 i have a 21 month old DD and a 3 month old DS & DP is almost 22 I too get asked if my children have the same father, Dp and i have been together for 4 years!

I love my children with all my heart and soul but i know my next comment will be taken way out of context by alot of people but im still going to say it.

I was 17 when i fell pregnant with DD when i found out i was so upset, i didnt know how i was going to cope, You know what the first damn thing i thought of was OMG my body is going to be F arked, now tell me thats mature? No its not i honestly wasnt ready to be a mother, and sometimes very rarely but still sometimes i regret not being more careful.

I love my children i always will nothing will ever change that, What i really want to know is why did you plan to have a baby at 16? Its not a nasty question im 100% curious.

I honestly dont know if this post has made any sense so please bare with me DD was up all night very sick!

You go girl. I dont think age is anything to do with how you love and look after your child. I am 26 years but that doesnt mean i agree with how people treat the young mums. When look at you and shake there head just smile and wave at them as why should you feel ashamed. They should be the ones who feel ashamed for judging someone they dont even know. The midwives shouldnt be saying things like that to you and if people do stand up for yourself dont be rude but show them that just because you are young that doesnt mean you are stupid and dont know what you are doing.
Congrats on the baby girl.

Good luck.
I feel exactly the same. I just turned 19 when i fell pregnant and already had enough from parent suggest i was too young and i am throwing my life away and i hate going to antenatal clinic without my boyfriend its like i look at people that seems to have the 'she got knock up and he left her look' geez sometimes i feel like telling them off.

and i had gestional diabetes and had to go for an induction and my boyfriend couldnt come and i didnt want to bored my friends so i went alone and the two other ladies both have their partner with me and its like they look at me like a single mum or something i cant even describe the 'LOOKS' but you know it when you see it.

I feel exactly the same. I just turned 19 when i fell pregnant and already had enough from parent suggest i was too young and i am throwing my life away and i hate going to antenatal clinic without my boyfriend its like i look at people that seems to have the 'she got knock up and he left her look' geez sometimes i feel like telling them off.

and i had gestional diabetes and had to go for an induction and my boyfriend couldnt come and i didnt want to bored my friends so i went alone and the two other ladies both have their partner with me and its like they look at me like a single mum or something i cant even describe the 'LOOKS' but you know it when you see it.

Hi ladies,

I am the founder of Respect Young Mums, the website mentioned. The campaign is dormant at the moment, and has been for a few months, while we are working on a special new and improved website with a IT professional. And since I have had some stressful times lately.

I came across this while searching the web, thankyou for your feedback.

If any of you young mummies would like to contribute to the new site, ie. Stories, helpful links and websites, photos, etc I would love to hear from you on woven_wings@hotmail.com.

Keep doing your best! Aim for the stars!
I'd like to add my two cents to this topic smile

Way back in caveman times, twenty year olds were the "old people" of the time. If people in those days had waited until they were 18 to have kids, humans wouldn't be around today. Humans haven't changed much since those times. Biologically, the ideal age to have children would be (as mentioned earlier in this thread) around 19 years of age. I personally would tip that scale to closer to the 17/18 side than the 20/21 side though. A womans body is fully mature before a mans body is, and some women actually mature earlier than others... being biologically mature before they're 15. So... young mothers are doing what mother nature actually intended, which is having babies while they're at the optimal age to have them - at the age when they will be most physically capable of coping with not only having the baby, but raising that child to adulthood without putting too large a stress on their bodies.

As a teenager, particularly in the late teens, it's biologically difficult to NOT get pregnant for most women who aren't using contraceptives. Once they hit the mid twenties, it starts to become more difficult to conceive. It gradually gets more difficult to conceive and/or carry a child from then on, until you hit that magic Four Oh number, when it's statistically almost frigging impossible for a normal woman to get pregnant without assistance.

It has become fashionable to try to have children after having made a success of your life... "I'll have a baby once I've reached this goal" or "I'll have children once we're financially stable"... even "I'll have a child once the mortgage is fully paid off and we're totally debt free". The sentiment is noble. However, it has meant that women have stopped trying to have children until they reach these goals, which has meant a lot of women have suddenly realised that they are physically incapable of getting pregnant, or they need to spend a lot of money on fertility treatment.

Women can have this problem anyway, I realise that. However, waiting until that problem will become a certainty not only makes the task of getting pregnant more difficult and more expensive, it also makes the task that much closer to unattainable. A woman who would have needed IVF to get pregnant at 20 will find it harder to get pregnant even WITH IVF at 30, and close to impossible at 40. Fertility problems don't get better the longer you wait, as I'm sure some here realise.

I started late. I didn't want children initially. In fact, I was rabidly anti having children until my wedding night! My first pregnancy (at 28) I got pregnant within months. That child - despite keeping an eye on food intake/general care and getting who knows how many blood tests and scans, resulted in a stillbirth. (No, I'm not looking for pity - some women here have been through a lot worse than that!) My second pregnancy took close to two years before I actually managed to get pregnant. My third pregnancy, I needed to get professional help in order to get pregnant. If I had started earlier, according to the doctors, I would have had no problems at all in getting pregnant (no ideas whether I would have had problems with the stillbirth, as they never found the cause)

As far as dangers involved with younger women giving birth? Yes, there are dangers. If the girl who gets pregnant is six years old, there are dangers. If the girl who gets pregnant doesn't take care of herself, there are dangers/ If the girl who gets pregnant does so to keep a relationship that is falling apart together, there are dangers - albeit more along the lines of a long term issue rather than an immediate problem. However... if a woman gets pregnant at 30 and refuses to eat well, there are dangers. If a woman of 30 gets pregnant to save a relationship, there are long term problems. If a woman of 30 does anything a girl of 16 does that can cause a problem with pregnancy (such as not taking the pregnancy seriously and getting checkups or making sure things are going well) then both will face the same dangers. These aren't youth-specific issues. They are pregnancy-specific issues... and in fact, some, like poor diet, are life-specific issues.

As far as the baby bonus bull, my second child I got the baby bonus, but only because the doctor had organised for me to be induced shortly after the date the bonus started - we had specified we wanted to be induced earlier, but he picked the date that was best for the hospital. My own family have accused me of only having children for the bonus! So, not only strangers can lend this trash credence! I personally blame the media for whipping the whole thing up into a storm. I don't know HOW they find so many women who are having children specifically for the baby bonus... and honestly, I don't know how women can be stupid enough to believe that the baby bonus can make up for the amount of money those children will end up soaking up in the next few years, let alone their whole lifetime! How on earth people can find the funds to spare for buying trash like Plasma TVs etc when their "sole income" was supposedly the baby bonus and Centrelink, I don't know. I would love a Plasma TV. Actually, I'd love another TV so we can actually watch TV LOL My older son has claimed our TV for his movies, since our landlord doesn't believe in things like fixing fences to make the outdoors safe for children to run around outside and play.

IMO what makes a good parent is love for their child, doing their best to ensure their child grows up healthy and confident, and that the child knows that they are cared for. I believe in discipline, and I also believe that the occasional treat is a good thing. I also believe that parents should be allowed to be parents... and not be constantly told how they're "doing things wrong". What works for one family doesn't necessarily work for the next family, and while I may not agree with the way one parent raises their child(ren), as long as those children are healthy and happy, it's not my place to get in their way. I expect to be able to raise my children in the way I believe is best, and don't want others to constantly tell me what I'm doing wrong, and as such, I should offer the same courtesy to them.

Just my thoughts on the matter anyway smile
Its funny isn't it? Well ive been married since I was 18 and had emili when I was 19 and been with hub for almost 6 years!!! Im 21 and get looks……….I do not understand why? I am happy with the choices I have made in my life and happy ive had mu girl………im glad when she grows up she will have a young funky mum……..I don’t want to me 60 at my daughters wedding……..at the end of the day we are not books so people can judge as they please……….I think they have nothing better in life then to judge people they don’t even know!!!!! Good on you sweet heart for bringing a lil beautiful person to this world! Un like some people who want the easy way out…….

emili 24/02/2005

Hi, congratulations on your pregnancy! I am on the other end of the scale, I am 42 and have a 15month old daughter. When I was pregnant I got a lot of flack and shock horror that the pregnancy was actually planned. My partner does not have any other children. I have a 17 year old daughter and a 16 y/o son from a previous relationship. When I go shopping with my two daughters, the 17y/o pushing the pram she gets some of the filthiest looks especially from old women!Some people are just so rude and ready to judge you just from looking at you.

my sis is only 19 yrs old and she already has two beautiful children a lil boy 19months old taylen, and shaylee she is 5 months old.. my sis is single and is a great mum... im not big on judging but my sis has been to hell n back and i have to say she is the best mum i know, she has all the patience in the world... luv ya sis... im 21 and have one beautiful lil man jackson... young or old your all great mums
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