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this is going to sound very immature/stupid Rss

hello all,
well to cut a very long story short my partner wasnt/isnt very good person, never used to work, used to go out drinking come home and verbally abuse me when drunk, take things from house to hock to pay for grog etc.

i eventually took out an I.O and had him removed from house, which in turn made my mum n dad very very pleased, now my partner has seemed to change his life around and has done very good for the last 3-4 months i have him back living in my unit and we r happy most of the time (we have ou little fight as any one else would)

but my problem is i ahvent told my parent as i nkow how dissapointed they would be and very hurt as they helped my alot when i ended the relationship. i havent told them as it would proably hurt them but also because im not %100 sure things will work out and i cant deal with the "i told u so's" anymore.

i feel so bad for hiding it should i risk it and tel them or keep it as it is incase relaiton ship fails.


i hope this makes sense sorry its a bit of a ramble

***haydens mum***

if you are happy he has changed and the little fihts are the ones you can expect from a normal relationship you need to talk to your parents
yes they will think you are an idiot but they will be the ones you turn to if you have it wrong again
set the guidelines with your partner and make them strict if he agrees then keep him and show your parents the agreement then if he breaks it get rid of him straight away
if he doesn't agree within a reasonable limit he hasn't changed as much as you think and you should get rid of him now
but tell your parents either way as they are obviuosly your support base

I was in the exact same situation.
He would go out and come home and fully have a go at me over nothing.
He wouldn't admit he had alcohol/anger problems until he lost everything.
He was full of promises and stupidly I believed him.
He moved away to get a job and stopped drinking.
He came back on friday and went out with his mates. He turned up at 1am off his face and started yelling at me and putting me down, my mum came in to see what was going on and he went off at her. He swore, threatened me and was a total #$!*.
He didn't even care my that our daughter was there watching looking absolutely terrified.

To overcome a drinking problem takes years.

Knowing exactly what you've been through my advice would be Not to go back into that situation.
People don't change overnight.
Oh my gosh...your story sounds very similar to what i have gone through in the last couple of months..however my ex will never change and i have kicked him out for good!

things were really great before out son was born - then once he came along my ex started to go out all the time, I mean, he would go out friday night and not return home until sunday night...he then wouldnt go to work for days and slep on the lounge "recovering"...he did nothing to help me! At first i used to call him and call him begging for him to come home, but he used to just switch his phone off..I felt like a stalker but come on, I was home alone with a baby...anyways after a while i gave up fighting it and used to pack up some things and go stay at my parents place for the weekend...i used to tell them that he was working all weekend, but i coulnd tell them the truth...Then is was our sons christening...he decided to go out on the friday, he promised that he will come home on saturday morning, but guess what! yep, you guessed it he didnt come home until 1 hour before the christening...I was so upset! I had done so much to make it a special day and he completely ruiened it for me...i then told my parents about what he had been up to because i was in such a state...Anyways i kicked him out...he then came back a couple of weeks later begging me and promising me that he will never go out again and that he would get some help with his drinking/drug problem...that lasted maybe a month or 2 and he then started it up again...the final straw for me was about 4 months ago when he pulled a bender [went out friday, didnt come home until sunday night 11pm], he came home so off his head - he was acting very strange - he went to bed and woke me up at 3am telling me that he feels like he cant breath and that he is going to die...I had to get out son [10 months old] out of bed and throw him in the car and take my ex to the hospital...it turns out he took over 30 esctacy pill and took a whole lot of cocain - he nearly died! And there i was at the hospital at 3 in the morning with my little baby, i spent the rest of the night there in emergency, it was horrible...the next day, DOCs came to investigate the situation...the reality of it all hit home, I could have had my baby taken away from me because of the F*wit...I'm a really good mother and i have never touched drugs ect, i really dont know how i ended up with such a loser. Anyways i packed his things and sent him to his mums...I'm starting a fresh life for me and my little boy!

But back to your story...I know how hard it is to tell your parents, it was hard to tell mine the 1st time i took him back, but they only want whats best for you..sit down and explain to them how you feel and that you are needing to try and give it another go, also tell them that your not 100% sure it will work out...I'm sure they love you unconditionally and if it happens to fall apart again, they will be there for you again...sometimes you do have to listed to the "i told you so" crap, but dont worry about that!
Good luck with it all I really hope your man has got it together...maybe he needed that time away to see how much he cares about you...But you know what, one little sign of the past coming back, get rid of him!
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