Huggies Forum

just not coping Rss

i finally got up the courage to leave my partner a week ago. he had been lying and cheating on me through the entire course of our relationship. he pressured me into buying a house with him making me believe he was committed to me. now all these lies are still coming out and i cant belive i was so stupid for staying.
i caught him out so many times, dirty texting my friends, his friends, strangers online. i caught him meeting up with girls. everytime i caught him it somehow turned around to be my fault, then he would act suicidal just to stop me being angry..
i was so trapped i even tried to OD to get out.
all i can do the past few days is cry im just so angry. i dont know what i did to deserve this..
i wish i could never see him again and take away our baby from him but he has never hit me... i just feel as though i dont have those rights over just 'emotional abuse'..
help pleaase

liams mummy

I just wanted to say that you have done the right thing by leaving, as hard as it is you will be fine.

Have you spoken to your GP as you may be depressed and need some help. Do you have the support of family to help you through this as you will need all the help you can get for the moment.
You are very strong for leaving you and your baby deserve a much better life than that. It will be hard at first but it will get easier just dont shut yourself off to everyone and their offers of help. Ppl dont offer to help unless they want so dont worry that they may just be doing it cos they feel sorry for you.
Mayb go chat to a lochal social worker they would be sure to point u in the right direction of any help u need.

Tracey

whatever you decide to do never ever blame yourself for their actions.they will try and turn things around and make you look like its your fault.my ex was the same lieing,cheating and then when found out would try the suicide thing too to make me feel guilty and to focus my attention on to him.speaking from personal experience make a life for you and the little one.it is always hard at first but day by day things will get betta.the hardest thing i found was just getting over the lies.i hate people that lie.honestly love there are some men out there who just use women.be strong and be positive and everyday when you wake up say to yourself i made it thru another day without you and all the lies and cheating.everyday i used to say that and also i can do it without you.i hope that is a little bit of support for you,goodluck and let us know how you are doin.
omg - don't think that what you are going through is any easier than someone that has been beaten up. Your relationship has just ended thats a HUGE loss. You have every right to be angry and hurt let it all out its much better than bottling it all up. Emotional abuse is awful - bruises fade, emotional stuff takes alot longer to heal. Its going to take time but each day will get easier and one morning you will wake up and think OMG I haven't thought about him for ages and I'm not sad anymore. Its a great feeling and it will come if you hang in there ((( Big hugs))) Phone up your girlfriends thats what you need right now invite them around for a coffee, dinner or just to hang out. PM me if you need to talk I broke up with my partner just before xmas great timing huh ...

thanks everyone 4 your support. i was prescribed anti depressants last year to help me cope with being in that kind of relationship, but i didnt feel good taking them and have been going to councelling.. i just keep kicking myself over how many chances i gave him. i dont even feel that sad its over but i have this insane anger which is quite scary.
two-wonderful-boys that IS horrible timing im sorry.
i felt weird blurting everything our on here like that but even though i have a few friends that have been through this they dont have kids, and my mum has just gone away on holiday for a few weeks sad

liams mummy

Don't feel weird some ppl find it so much easier to come on here and tell strangers wats going on and as u have seen so many have gone through the same or simalar things so let them offer advice on how to cope.

Hope your doing a lil better

Tracey

hey havent been on here in ages, thought i'd update whats up
im living on my own now with baby and its the BEST thing ever!! im so proud of myself for having the courage to leave him

liams mummy

Rach19
i only wish i had the stength to stay away, i have left my partner and he has been asked to leave a few to many times but i always hit the sad part after the anger dies down and get him back, i too have been in (stil am in) a emotionally abusive relationship, i got a I.O out on him but once again kylie falls weak and has him back, i must admit the I.o did help as he has been very very different for the last 3 motnhs since (he got locked up for the long weekend in march i think it all happend) and since has been very good, but i am constantly waiting for the day he runs of drink (very abusive when drunk) and comes home with his norma SH!T, or lies again about where hes been, or takes money that has been put away for a bill and spends it all on grog or takes another thing fromt he house to sell, i will awlway be waiting for the next thing to go worng.

sorry for rambling on i was just ment to post how strong u r and how i wish i had of stuck to it myself.... congrats!!

***haydens mum***

hey kyze, sounds like you are going through a lot! its not easy to stick to it, and it seems no matter what you do it feels like the wrong decision
i hope ultimately you are happy, because thats whats most important smile
take care!

liams mummy

Good for you, for getting up the courage to finally leave! He's a snake in the grass and you deserve to be treated with respect!
If he tries the suicide emotional blackmail crap again, I'd hand him a bottle of pills and tell him to go for it!

Good luck and take care

X

I have been in a physical and emotional abusive relationship before and it took me till he hurt someone else to leave him...i even nearly went back through that time.

For me the only way i got through it was through counseling every week, voilence counseling every week, reading self help books (they do work) friends and family support and constant reassurance....it was a long road but i got out and i got there.

You have done the right thing leaving him......contact a lawyer about the house and settlement...

Do not forgive him this time..do not forgive him again. Its ok to be angry...i was angry for a while i am still probably angry now that i was so stupid to let myself get caught up with a man like this...i thought i was stronger...but you know what i realised...HE WAS GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES.....He put me in a bubble and made me confused and unsure and insecure.

Write down all the bad things that he has done to you...write down everything you can remember...pin it in you're car, on the fridge anywhere you can see it. Never blame you're self for WHAT he has done...emotionally abuse is sometimes worse than physical......it is still abuse..it is still voilence............Believe that you deserve better and once you get through the hard times, the lonely parts it will be ok.....life is short and you deserve so much more than what this man can offer you...and there is a man out there that will treat you like you should be treated...you just have to find him....but give yourself time to heal first.

This man will always be the same and he will never change......He will always be living in his sad controling abusive life....just not with you....

You will be ok and get through this...just stay strong and positive and rely on yourself....learn from this also and never let you're self stay with a man....look out for the warning signs then run.....no mans worth it

Sign in to follow this topic