Huggies Forum

Not back to work yet Rss

Does anybody elses partner make them feel like crap for not being back to fulltime work yet? I have been working 2 days a wk since DD was 12wks old & grudgingly accept that I will need to return back to work fulltime at the end of January (DD will be 7 months old). In the meantime my DP constantly points out the fact that I'm not contributing financially, & belittles me for it. I'm finding it really hard, but I don't want to miss out on this special time with my daughter

you should not feel bad for being at home with your DD!!!!

Being a mum is the hardest and most underpaid job that exists!

Hold your head high and be proud of the fact that you have been able to spend so much time at home with your child up to this point.

You may not be contributing financially but you are contributing to the happiness and health of your child, not to mention providing a safe and secure environment where she can feel loved and accepted and special. this is far more important than bringing a few dollars into your bank account each week.

obviously if you have to work, you have to work. but dont allow yourself to feel belittled as you are doing the most thankless job that exists and i'll bet a darn good job at that.

Be proud of yourself and enjoy the time that you have together before she grows up. I would not put up with being made to feel like crap. Next time he points out that you are not contributing financially, tell him to stick it!
My DS is now 21months old and I haven't worked a paid day since he was born - just mummy work. I've found that being a stay at home mum is soooo much harder than what I used to do (reception/admin) it's full on. I used to work 8-5 get my lunchbreak, teabreak and a weekend, and not to mention getting sickdays and paid holidays! But my DH never mentions me staying at home, he much prefers knowing that I am looking after our son rather than strangers in a childcare centre. We are very lucky that financially I don't need to go back to work and I plan on staying at home as long as financially possible. If you feel that you are surviving on the money you now have then I wouldn't be pushed into going back to fulltime work. You might want to point out that once you're both in fulltime jobs he won't get such a cushy ride and have to do equal amounts of housework etc. That might be enough to shut him up. Good luck.
Rowena

my DH only mentions it when we argue. We have a 3.5 yrs old and i worked 3 days a week from when she was 1 until i had my son 9 months ago but cause it was working in my parents shop he says it wasnt proper work.

Nothing to see here folks!!

Well if youre working 2 days a week how does he figure youre not contributing financially????
The price of daycare these days its often not even worth returning to work lol
Dont listen to what he says, men are arrogant pigs and i used to get the same from mine. They dont understand what its like being a mum. As hard as it may be, dont do anything you dont want to. Try and enjoy as much of the time as you can with your daughter without him souring it.

Its a shame men cant appreciate us women more. It really is.
Why do you need to go back to work so soon?? Is there repayments needing to be made? IS his job high paying?

I have 3 boys!!!

I've been working 3 days per week since my DSs were 6 months old. Next year, my eldest starts 4 year old defered kinder and I have to take my days off work on his kindy days. This means less time with DS and he's in some sort of care 5 days per week. SOOOOO, I've decided to drop down to 2 days per week to give my DS a day at home just to chill with Mum. DH isn't happy!
So this is my theory on the situation. You do what you think is best for your babies and your soul and he should be supportive of that.

is he going to help around the house and childcare my husb keeps telling me to go back to work i did fill in for 2 weeks and he didn't help like look after Hazel so I could go to work I had to rush around get everything ready and drop her off to mum's and he did no housework to help so that puts me off for finding another job. I do housework (not my own) every fortnight he dosen't look after her when I do that even.
I have been off work for two years since our little girl was born and I am pregnant again. My husband was fine to let me not work and raise our kids until kindergarden started. For ages I was made to feel bad about not doing enough around the house and it took me ages to realise that he resented me for being in our home surroundings especially when he had a bad day at work and longed to be home too. I made him understand that home & work were the same place for me and I work 24hours a day and don't get to switch off like him and as for an income the price of childcare made it pointless anyway. Our time with our babies only happens once and for such a short time and you deserve to experience every moment with them. It's the toughest job to do but unfortunately doesn't get the credit it deserves simply because there is no pay cheque each week. Dont let anyone make you feel bad. ENJOY it while you can!

Nikki, baby girl ''''''''''''''''06, baby boy ''''

I am the one who feels guilty for not working! and DH keeps telling me it is ok...

But then I am only at home with 7 weeks to go, lets wait and see if he changes his tune when the baby is born!

Matilda Jane, Feb 08 and Charlotte Rose, Dec 09

Wow I cant believe he'd do this to you! I'm speechless! My DD is 20 months and I'm not going back to work for at least another year, I'm lucky that I can stay at home but my DH is rapt that I want to and not go back to work. Neither of us wants to put Ava into childcare.

I think your partner is being extremely mean, this is a very special time for you and your daughter and they grow up so quickly. You are contributing beyond belief by looking after your daughter, sorry I'm not helping much but I cant believe he'd make you feel bad for this. Whats more important, money or your daughter?

Your partner needs a good slap up the side of the head! No offence to you but sheesh he's not being very kind or understanding to you.
Sign in to follow this topic