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Husband refusing to get a vasectomy Lock Rss

My husband and I have been together for 15 years and have two beautiful babies but, I am now at the stage where I would like a more permanent birth control method. During our entire relationship, I have been the one responsible for our birth control but, the hormones in the implants and pill are affecting my body and sex drive, and its time to come off them. My husband and I both agree that neither of us want any more children but, he is refusing to have a vasectomy. He believes I should go in and get my tubes tied but, I know of a couple of friends that did this and had complications as a result - and I feel that after having two babies and taking control of our birth control that my body has gone through enough and it is now time for him to step up and take responsibility for once. He has mentioned that its not fair that I take "that away from him" - i.e. if we get divorced, he can't have kids but I still can but, when I ask would he want more kids in that situation he's like "oh no, I don't want any more kids but you can still have them" - its ridiculous excuses like that. I am just not sure what to do - am I actually being selfish by wanting my husband to do this?
I don't think you're being selfish. Like you say, you've had the burden of managing birth control, carried two pregnancies, given birth to two children. For your husband to expect you to get a tubal ligation when a vasectomy is a much easier procedure with a shorter recovery time is, to me, your husband being selfish.
Do you think you could both meet with a doctor to discuss the options so he gets it from a medical perspective too I.e. The recovery times, potential complications etc for both procedures. some men get very testosterony about the perceived idea they are loosing their virility or fear of someone fiddling around 'down there'.

I don't think you are being selfish, as it is much less of a serious operation for men. Where I live they carry it out at the local Dr surgery. Also I am led to believe that is easily reversed for men so if you guys did split up down the road it wouldn't be a major for him to have more children.







My hubby got one last year, was over and done in less than 20 mins, he was stoked as along with his pre op pain pill he was given a large glass of whiskey..... op done while a little tipsy lol


My DH got one about Month ago and he reckons it was a breeze. I don't think you are being selfish at all, in fact I think your partners excuse is actually a slap in the face. What a pathetic thing to say, he should not even be talking about a divorce. Tell him to drink a cup of concrete and HARDEN UP!
I agree with the other ladies. I'm having trouble with getting my dh in to get one too- but it's not so much that he's refusing as much as I think he's scared laugh laugh It's gonna happen....

Anyway- if he wants to reverse it later- it is possible so that argument is invalid. He's being a child. I have no advice, im sorry- if he's made up his mind, then he had made up his mind but it doesn't make him right.
My DH won't get one either. It's a man thing. It's childish, it's annoying, but really common.

For me, I think it's not worth making 'a thing' of it. Nagging, begging, sex bans etc, would just make him dig his heals in further. I pick my battles with my DH, and this was one I am never going to win, and I'm not that comfortable forcing him into a medical procedure he doesn't want (even if his reasons are petty and flawed).

We used condoms for a while (even that didn't make him cave), so I had a mirena done. Really no big deal, on fact it's done wonders for my AF and PMT.




My DH won't get one either. It's a man thing. It's childish, it's annoying, but really common.

For me, I think it's not worth making 'a thing' of it. Nagging, begging, sex bans etc, would just make him dig his heals in further. I pick my battles with my DH, and this was one I am never going to win, and I'm not that comfortable forcing him into a medical procedure he doesn't want (even if his reasons are petty and flawed).

We used condoms for a while (even that didn't make him cave), so I had a mirena done. Really no big deal, on fact it's done wonders for my AF and PMT.




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