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OK so here's my vent.
I have 4 lovely children aged 10-9-3-3mths or maybe I should say 5 children including their father.
Having 4 children has it's days where I think "this isn't so bad" but most days its "OMG what have I got myself into". My baby is nearly 3mths old the day i left the hospital, I came home to pigsty of a house, which i tidied up cause HE was too tired!!! and then he had to go back to work the very next day cause the boss left to go away on holiday.
Anyway since that day he probably helped out for about a week and that was it. He would just sit there and make the 2 older boys do EVERYTHING!! me following behind them while he sat/sits at the computer. And 3mths later its still the same.
I feel like one of the mothers that are a slave in their own homes. There isn't nothing i don't do. I do my best to keep our house tidy and clean (not squeaky) thats including the outside. He's 33 yrs old NEVER puts his DIRTY cow *** clothes after his shower in the laundry, LEAVES all his socks outside. Thats only a few. Some days I just feel like tipping everything everywhere in the house and just leave for a week and see what happens.
I don't know what to do about it. We have been together for 11yrs married for 1yr and its always been like this. I want change, I want to be appreciated. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart and I know he feels the same way would just be nice if he showed it more. Sorry ladies I really needed to get this all off my chest before I went crazy lol.
Aww that sucks sad sorry no advice here but I hope you can somehow get through to him
*** i would start yelling at him tell him to pick up his clothes and start helping out.
and keep reminding him, or just dont pick up after him. when he has no clean clothes ....oh well

*** i would start yelling at him tell him to pick up his clothes and start helping out.
and keep reminding him, or just dont pick up after him. when he has no clean clothes ....oh well


That is exactly what i've done this week. Kids and I have removed our clothes yet his are still in there. Even the kids tell him to but all they get is a "yip" and he goes back to looking at the computer. Last week i thru them outside lol he didn't even notice. 11yrs and he has yet to acknowledge mothers day/birthday/xmas for me. His excuses are "the power or the phone needed paying". Am i being taken for a fool!!! worst part is he doesn't understand why is boys don't like tidying up after themselves duh!!!! cause Dad doesn't.....Oh and yelling don't work I just end up in tears because he just ignores me and carrys on click that button
You just need to stop doing everything for him. He will then realise when he has no clean clothes to wear how much you do for him. We go thru patches when my hubby comes home and does nothing so I do the same and then he starts to think. Why don't I have any clean work clothes and then looks around and realised that he is not pulling his weight and starts to do things again. Mind you then after a month or so we go thru the same cycle. But I am not around to clean up after him as well. I guess your problem is you have always done it for him and he knows that you will give in and do it all when you get sick of it being on the floor. Be strong. ou need to be a team and work together not against each other.

Good Luck.


i think u need to sit him down when the kids are in bed and tell him you cant do this anymore, you love him but things have to change and there are no if or buts about it. you are both in it for the long haul and he owes u the respect to make ur life enjoyable just as u do for him.
it better to be really specific and state exactly what u expect of him and even go to the length of writing out a chore list of shcedhule he must follow before sitting down on his bum infront of the computer.

he entered into marriage and the responsibility of having four children and they are no more your responsibility than they are his. he can either step up and help you so you can both enjoy your lives together or he can shirk his duties and u can both be miserable.

put it all in lamen terms and be really clear.... i have to be the same with my husband otherwise he is really lazy. we still argue and he annoys me at times with being a couch potato but he understands and recognises that what i complain about is legitemate and that he needs to do more.. this is half the battle.
Hide the computer and tv cables! Tell him it's to save money on power and phone bills so you finally get a present tongue
My DH is terrible with his dirty laundry. He leaves it all over the bedroom floor. I kick it to his side of the bed which is the far side of the room so I cant see it grin

He gets the shits and says I've mixed the dirty ones with the clean ones - lol!! (Its all thrown there - dont know how he knows the difference, think its all via the sniff test!

We have a wash basket in the room but he rarely uses it.

If the clothes are not IN the basket I DONT WASH THEM!

I also refuse to do it if he puts it all to the wash in one go - wont hang it out either.

Hubby usually does a panic load of washing on Sunday night when he realises he has no clean clothes for work on Monday - lol.

If he puts it gradually into the basket as its worn, it reappears in the wardrobe washed and folded smile

why would he change? you've done everything for him for 11years.
sorry no advice but I think you're going to have to do something very dramatic/extreme to get him to change, heck if I had someone run around after me I wouldn't do anything either.


i agree with this statement.... your husband now "expects" you to do all these things + more if possible... as for you not getting any acknowlegment for your birthday etc... that is plain wrong... even if he got you a small thing (its the thought that counts) sorry to say this but you have become a doormat and he is walking all over you...

This is going to be extremely difficult to break and may lead to a breakup... trust me i know... i have been there and i had to leave
We can, with all good intentions, turn our partners into monsters. Not that it is entirely our fault, but why would they do things when they know they will get done for them. I have to be careful I don't fall into the same trap, although I am sure my hubby (to be) would do as I asked if I actually asked him to help me more. I am a 'housewife' on a farm so its kind of expected of me to be the house keeper, and I guess that's fair enough. A bit of recognition from them never goes astray, perhaps you could suggest to him that if its too hard to help you out, maybe he could be a little more appreciative. A bunch of flowers on your birthday is the least he could do by the sound of it!! I really hope things improve for you!!

Hide the computer and tv cables! Tell him it's to save money on power and phone bills so you finally get a present tongue



That was my thoughts exactly!!!

I think you need to be careful about how you approach this with him. If you go in guns blazing he will likely feel attacked and immediately put up his defences. If you approach it more carefully and perhaps just point out to him that you are not coping and need him to help out more then he (hopefully) will get the idea.

I would also put a stop to any and all presents for him and tell him that you are really hurt that he doesn't appreciate all you do to even acknowledge mothers day/ birthdays etc.

Good luck, I hope things improve smile
i totally understand..

and i only have 1.
my sons 4 months old and still does it though not nearly as bad.
over time things have improved now hes a stay at home dad and i go to a course its his job to feed change and do all the other things i would normally do plus has to do alot of washing ect.

i couldnt do that with 4

i told my dp that gaming and computing never comes before our sons needs EVER but if he was working he could finish at a point where he could pick up again its sunk in now.

maybe its time to take the kids go to your parents on your own and chill out let him fend for himself just tell him youll be back when it suits you and you will be seriously considering the direction your relationship is heading. and just leave it at that if he really cares he'll listen and sort it out with you
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