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  5. COMEDY RELIEF part 2: the things we sacrifice!

COMEDY RELIEF part 2: the things we sacrifice! Rss

Due to a HUGE response to my first comedy relief post and all the smiles and laughter i brought to tired mums everywhere, i thought i would add some more humour into your day. (the comedy relief posts are lighthearted and are to be taken with a grain of salt, no negative posts or criticisms please..just laughs!):

We all love our babies but there is an awful lot that we sacrifice as mums (and dads) here's a few of mine, i'll start from the top!:

THE THINGS WOMEN SACRIFICE AFTER A BABY:

HAIR: i have roots that are 10cm long & i can't remember the last time i dyed my hair, i have at LEAST 3 different colours on my head at the moment and none of them look good together (or appear on any colour chart of nature!). Aswell as colour, my hair hasn't seen a pair of scissors for so long my split ends have their own split ends. Prior to my babies coming along i would always hair dry my hair straight and moisturise it so it had that lovely silky look, now....my hairdryer has so much dust on it, it needs vaccuming! My usual do during the day is up in a bun and a hair comb keeping my long, jagged fringe out of my way, by the end of the day i've got so many bits of loose hair flying out everywhere it looks like i'm wearing a streaking cap! (it helps when hubby comes home cause if he has any romantic thoughts of how his evening will end, they quickly vanish!). when its time for bed i unravel my birds nest and the feel, look and smell of my long unkempt tresses remind me that a shower would be nice.....soon......if i get time!).
As for brushing.....you're kidding right?

FACE: i haven't worn makeup in well OVER a year, my mascara is clummped shut, my eyeliner is used as a pen when i can't find one and my lipstick has been passed onto my niece for a lovely crayon drawing. These days the only flecks of colour i get on my face is baby food (i find that avocado is moisturising!) and as for facial cleanser i've gone from pricey products to a $3.99 coles gel cleanser....need i say more?

NAILS: same as makeup except my polishes have been passed onto my nephew who has re-painted all his matchbox cars! as for my nails....bitten.....jagged....discoloured...and generally mini food traps!

CLOTHING: the last time i bought something new for myself was my wedding dress....seriously.....i'm STILL in my maternity clothes, trakkie daks, pyjamas, oversized t-shirts ALL of which are frayed, worn, slightly torn (especially on the inner thigh part where the stitches are hanging on for dear life! i'm dreading the day they give way).

SHOES: I used to be Imelda Marcos Jnr, i have shopped for well over 100 pairs of fashion shoes NONE of which fit me anymore because my feet haven't returned to their normal size. My usual footwear now is ugg slippers, runners (that look like they have been in a million marathons) and the all too trusty and comfy THONGS! i actually catch myself near the 'Cumfs' section of the chemist nowadays thinking "mmm they look comfy...wonder if they'll fit?".....

JEWELLERY: i've come across things i never even knew i had! since the pregnancy my wedding rings still don't fit back onto my sausage fingers, i have worn the same gold chain/cross (now a dirty gold/brassy colour) and silver stud earrings (looking more like black studs from afar)i'm afraid to take them off in case the holes in my ears have closed in on themselves! my lovely, sparkly, dangly earrings will be future targets for my girls to re-open any new holes in my ears.....might wait for that one!

SOCIAL EVENTS: i remember a time when 'a long lunch' meant taking your time with food, drinks and friends and watching the sun set.....these days 'a long lunch' means u started to eat 'something' at 12pm and due to a crying baby, feeding and sleeping duties u managed to finish your 'something for lunch' just before bed (at least u don't have to make dinner!).

ALCOHOL: is purely used as a sleeping aid to soothe the days events and for a moment make u feel like an adult instead of the: nurse, preschool teacher, babysitter, counsellor, disciplinarian, singer and dancer u have to be during the day.

FAVOURITE SHOWS: no such thing as watching a FULL episode of anything, my conversations about something that was on tv always sounds the same "i missed the beginning/end what happened?"

BOOKS: i used to be a bookworm, now, it takes me ages to just get thru a magazine...did anyone else hear that Jennifer Lopez just had twins?"......that should give u the picture!

CAREER: the thought of going back to work scares me but i need money to buy new trakkie daks!


THE THINGS MEN SACRIFICE AFTER A BABY:

SEX.
thanks for making me laugh at 2am!
so funny!
Thanks for the second part, always need a laugh to start my day.

Although the first laugh of my day was DP telling me he wished he could stay home and help me today with all the housework and yard work I have planned since DS will be with his Nan. pfft, I don't consider barking instructions from the computer room "helping", still laughing about that one.

that is a good laugh, my hubby took a 'sick' day when it was quite hot the other day to 'spend time' with us. we packed the twins and decided to feed them at the beach (i should have trusted my instincts to stay home and put them into their own beds), his idea of 'spending time' with us was lying in the sun with a book sunning himself a few metres away from us while i struggled to feed 2 babies who were rolling around everywhere......yep great fun for me!..... to top it off they couldn't sleep in the pram so we headed home where they were still quite grizzly because of being overtired and my hubby turns to me and says 'are u right now? i'm going back to the beach!'......i definately won't be encouraging any more sick days.....men's version of giving us a hand ends up with us having to do more work!
Omg we must be long lost twins, I'm sure we would look identical and we both have the same life... but one thing you didn't mention that certainly has changed in my life is our body, alot of us don't have the time to exercise as everytime I try my dd decides its time to play so I went from being a young good looking chicki to a tired, exausted, cranky poo cleaning ompa lompa!!!

Posted by: mgee76
BOOKS: i used to be a bookworm, now, it takes me ages to just get thru a magazine...did anyone else hear that Jennifer Lopez just had twins?"......that should give u the picture!



J Lo was pregnant???

Madelyn Jean - Jul 08. Emily Florence - Nov 09


Love part 2!!! On each subject I was nodding my head in agreement.

Thanks for the laugh, please keep them coming.....

HAIR: i have roots that are 10cm long & i can't remember the last time i dyed my hair, i have at LEAST 3 different colours on my head at the moment and none of them look good together (or appear on any colour chart of nature!). Aswell as colour, my hair hasn't seen a pair of scissors for so long my split ends have their own split ends. Prior to my babies coming along i would always hair dry my hair straight and moisturise it so it had that lovely silky look, now....my hairdryer has so much dust on it, it needs vaccuming! My usual do during the day is up in a bun and a hair comb keeping my long, jagged fringe out of my way, by the end of the day i've got so many bits of loose hair flying out everywhere it looks like i'm wearing a streaking cap! (it helps when hubby comes home cause if he has any romantic thoughts of how his evening will end, they quickly vanish!). when its time for bed i unravel my birds nest and the feel, look and smell of my long unkempt tresses remind me that a shower would be nice.....soon......if i get time!).
As for brushing.....you're kidding right?


Have you been spying on me?I haven't had ahaircut in sooo long and my hair is many faded colours with huge roots!lol

I love it!
Laughter is the best medicine - only thing that keeps me sane, that and wine!

My little girl is growing up!

Halarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was such a HAIR person sad

Oh that was really clever! I was smiling all they way thru while reading, then cracked up laughing when I got to the end... SO TRUE!!

Thanks for the laugh mgee76, I'm sorry I missed the first one! =)
Wow, i feel more human already reading this. I use to carry lipstick in my handbag and wouldn't be seen in public without it, now they are gathering dust. As for my hair, my last haicut was 4 months ago, i went to just cuts, while my husband took the baby for a lap around the shopping centre and got it hacked off literally. gone are the days of blowdrying and spending the day in the hairdresses getting wait for it 'foils'!!. Jewellery - also collecting dust. Clothes - somehow i've got a collection of elastic waist skirts (the nice ones)....Hope to get back to my old self in the new year!!
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